Adoption? To tell or not to tell???

[IDLEchild]

I'd think it'd be quite a double whammy to drop the bomb in times of a serious medical event. Imagine getting told you've got cancer of some hereditary form and then told you were adopted...that'd be rough.

Well in a family of morons it could be a release.

 

[Mirlyn]

Well in a family of morons it could be a release.

ah, so true

 

[Luis G]

BCD, i'd say medical reasons, or if the kid finds out then not hiding the truth is appropiately.

 

[Silver lady]

One look at the birth certificate will tell them normally anyhow, so it's a dead cert they will find out. but I personally think it depends a lot on the child and the adopted perants as to what they do. But as I have said I am now getting on in years and have no problems in trying to find out what my family are about and want nothing more than info from them. So it just depends. I would say it would come as one hell of a shock to find out when you are in your late teens early twenties that your perants aren't the ones who caused you to be here! but then I can see the other side to that coin in that the mother or father may well have another family and not wish to entertain the fact to a new partner!

 

[Gonz]

One look at the birth certificate will tell them normally anyhow

I can't speak for current but my 40 year old BC says my parents are my parents.

 

[Mirlyn]

I've never seen my birth certificate.

 

[PT]

It's ok son. You were probably not adopted. Probably. Well, I don't know. You don't seem the Kansas type....

Hmmmm.

 

[Mirlyn]

It's ok son. You were probably not adopted. Probably. Well, I don't know. You don't seem the Kansas type....

Hmmmm.

Hey now, I'm non-native, remember?

Actually, I remeber having to pull teeth to get a photocopy of my cert faxed down here for a replacement social security card. Don't remember looking at it though.

 

[PT]

Yeah, I had to do the same. I swear the Iowa Bureau of public records is a cardboard box buried in a cornfield south of Des Moines. They don't like to go digging either.

 

[Mirlyn]

Yeah, I had to do the same. I swear the Iowa Bureau of public records is a cardboard box buried in a cornfield south of Des Moines. They don't like to go digging either.

So true, so true.

 

[Stop Laughing]

My uncle adopted a Korean boy, and he'll probably figure it out just from looking in the mirror. My uncle and his wife have split up now and have joint custody, it must be rough on Conrad, even my parents stayed together for more of my life and I'm not adopted.

Cardboard box in Iowa? How'd they get their hands on such advanced technology?

 

[Mirlyn]

Cardboard box in Iowa? How'd they get their hands on such advanced technology?

Jealous?

 

[paul_valaru]

Back to the topic, sorry guys.

There is NO way to tell a kid he or she is adopted, the secret is never let it be a secret.

That way no embarassing questions pop up, no mental trama. I never had to ask is I was adopted, I never rember being told I was adopted, but I always new I was adopted, it was always out in the open with my family, so it became a non-issue.

A friend of my uncle's found out he was adopted when he was 40, he freaked out.

As for biological parents right to know "thier" child. It's NOT your child anymore, you gave him or her up, for whatever reason, be the good reasons or bad, it's up the child to reach out to you, maybe they don't want to know you.

I know adoptions lawas in ontario are a real bitch, it has to be a 2 way street, I'm curious to know where I came from, scared to find out.

 

[Cirdan]

We told our son from the beginning. He is nine now and just the other day he found the video of the the day we picked him up from the orphanage in Russia. Might have been a problem had he not known. He does call Russians "my people".