another post about gay marriages... but this one might make you go "hmmmm"...

[Nixy]

Is it stronger if its marriage and not common-law?

See...I know a couple that have bee together for 27 years. Nice pair. Loving, caring, fun-loving people. I love hanging with them. They have a son...he's 25 now..nice kid. We've had coffee on a few occasions. This couple V&G go on vacations together, work together (albeit different shifts), have a nice new condo, used to own an antique shoppe, they're often out having dinner, or goign to movies now that their son has moved out. They're coming to my BBQ.

They're not married though. Care to guess why not?

I never said it was stronger...but common-law people have never taken a VOW to be together forever...I realize that if they split they stilll have to divide assets blah blah blah but I don't see it as as binding as marriage...no vows were taken...but the two people have lived together long enough that the government figures they share money and such so they are then commonlaw. I guess in today's society I can see WHY a lot of people see no difference because a lot of people don't see marriage as being sacred...a lot of people when they say "til death do us part" MEAN "til death do us part or I find someone better to run off with" *I* however take marriage VERY seriously. I see it as a promise that I make in front of my friends and family, in front of the person I love and I see it as a paper I sign FOR LIFE. That is why I will not get married without living with a person, why I will not get married until I am done school, why I will not get married until I have SEEN that I can live with a person with the life I am aiming for a few years from now...the way my life is right now will not be how I am living my life in 3 years. If someone only wanted to live commonlaw I would just see it as they do not love me enough to make a PROMISE to me in front of all the important people in our lives. I know i'm in a MINORITY in this day and age...but, those vows are something I hold dear and will mean will all my heart when I do say them. Commonlaw doesn't have that. I guess in short I see marriage as promising forever and commonlaw as kinda "well, I dunno...but for right now this is what I want..."

And, I'd venture to guess your friends never got married and just lived common law cause they saw no difference in it

 

[ResearchMonkey]

Well said ^ that was Nixy.

You enter into marriage with witness, it is an oath of honor and character. (well it used to be)

 

[Nixy]

Well said ^ that was Nixy.

Why thank you Yoda

 

[Gonz]

Well said ^ that was Nixy.

You enter into marriage with witness, it is an oath of honor and character. (well it used to be)

Yep, well put.

Not always used to be. There are still a few of us that take our committment seriously. (Civil union that it is )

 

[MrBishop]

Then why not legalize it & get married?

Two things - $$ & time. For those that say...just go JoP
Not good enough. When we marry, it'll be Church, reception, maybe a honeymoon. That takes $$ and lots of it, especially the reception part. Even if we say "pot-luck reception" and hope for the best..it's still major coin. Coin that we don't have.

Win some coin in the 6/49 tomorrow...married in 9 weeks time (bans of marriage and matrimonial commission take time). Get a solid job that is f/t and pays well...6 months to 1 year depending on debt-consolidation and payment. Reality sucks, don't it?

 

[Gonz]

YOu can afford to live together, you can afford a JoP. In my never to be humble opinion the fact that you've made a little Bish says it's already too late for the big church wedding. Maybe for his 6th birthday you can re-do your vows.

 

[MrBishop]

And, I'd venture to guess your friends never got married and just lived common law cause they saw no difference in it

Nope...they didn't get married because they're not allowed to. They're both women. They aren't even considered common-law. Hell, some people don't consider their relationship as serious, because they're Lesbians. If after 27 years of love and fidelity they aren't serious enough...when will they be?

 

[Gonz]

If after 27 years of love and fidelity they aren't serious enough...when will they be?

TORONTO — A lesbian couple is seeking what is believed to be Canada's first same-sex divorce in Ontario Superior Court.
The women, identified according to their lawyers' initials as M.M., a 41-year-old born in Toronto, and J.H., a 61-year-old born in Ottawa, were married on June 18, 2003, one week after the Ontario Court of Appeal legalized same-sex marriage in the province.

The couple separated five days after the wedding, ending an almost 10-year relationship, J.H.'s lawyer Julie Hannaford said.

 

[Nixy]

Nope...they didn't get married because they're not allowed to. They're both women. They aren't even considered common-law. Hell, some people don't consider their relationship as serious, because they're Lesbians. If after 27 years of love and fidelity they aren't serious enough...when will they be?

Well, now they're allowed to

I personally consider JOP marriage (like I said though it is NOT holy matrimony) and they can DEFINATELY do that and there are some churches even where they can marry in a church if they choose!

 

[Nixy]

Two things - $$ & time. For those that say...just go JoP
Not good enough. When we marry, it'll be Church, reception, maybe a honeymoon. That takes $$ and lots of it, especially the reception part. Even if we say "pot-luck reception" and hope for the best..it's still major coin. Coin that we don't have.

Win some coin in the 6/49 tomorrow...married in 9 weeks time (bans of marriage and matrimonial commission take time). Get a solid job that is f/t and pays well...6 months to 1 year depending on debt-consolidation and payment. Reality sucks, don't it?

See, to you it's about the party!

I'll admit, I AM looking forward to the party at my wedding but if I'm ready to marry the man I love and we do not have the money that won't stop me...I'll go to JOP and when we DO have the money THEN we'll have some huge party...maybe I'd even wear a big white dress to the party for fun!!! Cause the main part is the vows...everything else is secondary...I didn't think like that before...I thought "whatever...I could live commonlaw or do JOP but I'll have a big wedding for the party" but not anymore...since i have met the man I'm with now I wanna make promises...I wanna say forever...marriage is about a feeling...it's about a feeling of loving someone so much that you wanna shout it to the world...whether you shout it in city hall or a church doesn't matter in my opinion

 

[MrBishop]

YOu can afford to live together, you can afford a JoP. In my never to be humble opinion the fact that you've made a little Bish says it's already too late for the big church wedding. Maybe for his 6th birthday you can re-do your vows.

I don't even need a JoP...I work for the church. I can ask the Primate of Canada to marry us, fill out the legal forms myself and send them in myself.
We couldn't afford Bishjr., he 'just happened' right after I got downsized from my job...we don't do abortion, so we have a son. It's a financial strain, but he's our little bundle of bouncing baby financial-strain...and we love him. We' considered having another...we're waiting. We have no choice but to wait.

Hey Nixy....we don't need a vow. We already KNOW that we'll be together forever. If it'll make you happier though, I have a bible at home, we can stand together, place both of our hands on it and vow to b together forever.

 

[Gonz]

You're just making excuses. None of my business, I'll butt out now.

 

[MrBishop]

See, to you it's about the party!

No...it's about family. I don't need a DJ, or fancy food, or $120/plate meals... MrsBish eloped the last time. My last wedding was fairly small and certainly didn't have even 1/20th of my family present.

 

[Nixy]

No...it's about family. I don't need a DJ, or fancy food, or $120/plate meals... MrsBish eloped the last time. My last wedding was fairly small and certainly didn't have even 1/20th of my family present.

Well, I dunno how YOUR family get together but my whole family gets together like 4 or 5 times a years...potluck...at someone's house...in a backyard...at a cottage...it's NOT that expensive...JOP and then a huge backyard party...

But, I'm with Gonz and I'm butting out of this part of the discussion now

 

[Gonz]

Homosexual marriage...homosexuality...Bish's (non)marriage...damn I love OTC

 

[Rose]

TORONTO — A lesbian couple is seeking what is believed to be Canada's first same-sex divorce in Ontario Superior Court.
The women, identified according to their lawyers' initials as M.M., a 41-year-old born in Toronto, and J.H., a 61-year-old born in Ottawa, were married on June 18, 2003, one week after the Ontario Court of Appeal legalized same-sex marriage in the province.

The couple separated five days after the wedding, ending an almost 10-year relationship, J.H.'s lawyer Julie Hannaford said.

One incidence of this is hardly relevant. Want statistics for the heterosexuals in this same instance?

 

[ResearchMonkey]

Ah, Bish,

Getting married is easy and fun, it needs not to be the big-to-do. The first time I got marriage it simply consisted of a dozen friends some vows and a jump over a broom-stick, a ring and a kiss; just hours after she said “yes” to my proposal.

The second time we quit our jobs and I rented a sweet little convertible and we blew into LasVegas, got one hell-of-a suite at the Mirage and then webcast our wedding for everyone to see . Anyone that checked their email in-time anyway

I have been married twice, both times to the same woman.

 

[chcr]

I have been married twice, both times to the same woman.
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Glutton for punishment, then? (j/k per Leslie)

 

[Professur]

Excuse me. I brought up Bish's marital status to make a point on the differing definitions of the concept of marriage. Not to have him berated about it. Nor on the wedding he and his chose to have. So enough already.

 

[Professur]

One incidence of this is hardly relevant. Want statistics for the heterosexuals in this same instance?

Dear Rose. Statistics for heteros in the same instance are equally irrelevant. At issue is that these people have been screaming, shouting, sueing, and shit disturbing for the right to marry. And after 5 days, decide it's not all that important. THAT my dear, is relevant. Evidently, it wasn't all they'd hoped.