"Political Definitions--Part One"
Posted by Roger Burdick
Friday, April 11, 2003
This column will enable you to decode the liberal-speak of the extremist, left-wing Democrats. Now that the war is almost over, they will revert to bashing the president with issues at home to cover for their perceived lack of support on the War on Terrorism. Listen for the shrill whining coming out of Washington as the Democrats try to deny this administration any credibility about the war by pointing out (as they see it) his ineptness on the home front. This is a multi-part column since there are a lot of words to define. Remember these definitions as you hear the lies being told.
''honesty'' -
Republican definition = Truthfulness.
Democrat definition = Honesty to the Democrats is nebulous and can mean anything they want it to mean.
''integrity'' -
Republican definition = Is it legal, moral, and ethical?
Democrat definition = Can we get away with it?
''taxation'' -
Republican definition = A forced payment of dues to the government under threat of imprisonment. A biased, unfair system with the richer paying the most and the poor receiving a transfer of the wealth that borders on communism.
Democrat definition = A voluntary contribution that helps the downtrodden, and that you are forced at this time to pay only because those rich guys and big business owners aren't paying their fair share.
''right-wing'' -
Republican definition = A political system consisting of three types of people: left wing, center wing and right wing. The more right wing you are, the more conservative you are.
Democrat definition = A political system consisting of three types of people, center, racist and right wing. The more right wing you are the more full of hate you are. You can drift between racist and right wing as the Democrats see fit. If you are especially dangerous to them you are both racist and right wing.
''left-wing'' -
Republican definition = A political system consisting of three types of people: left wing, center wing, and right wing. The more left wing you are the more liberal you are.
Democrat definition = There is no such thing in the Democrat dictionary, because even Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton are centrists.
''center-wing'' -
Republican definition = A political system consisting of three types of people, left wing, center wing, and right wing. If you are in the center, then you are a moderate.
Democrat definition = We like you and your causes. You aren't a left wing liberal, you are a normal, average person, even though you espouse communism and/or socialism.
''bi-partisan'' -
Republican definition = Getting together with the other party to advance legislation that is helpful to Americans.
Democrat definition = Whining about how the Republicans are getting their way and are going to starve people and kill the elderly with their extreme right-wing agenda.
''big government'' -
Republican definition = A government that is so big that it can hardly function at. The U.S, reached that plateau in, oh, about 1880.
Democrat definition = It isn't as big as those Big Business corporations that don't pay their fair share of taxes!
''The little guy'' -
Republican definition = A mythical invention of the Democrats that means anything they want. It's a nebulous term so it's extremely hard for the Republicans to counter a Democrat lie about this group.
Democrat definition = The working class, particularly union members who buy into the fact that the big businesses would starve their workers to death with low wages if the Democrats didn't hold the Republicans in check. Thus, you have to vote for the Democrats lest the Republicans starve people and kill the elderly.
''It's for the children'' -
Republican definition = Education, childcare, and welfare issues that directly affect children.
Democrat definition = Any issue the Democrats want to pass that can in any way be emotionally tied to ''the children.'' For instance, tax increases for child care are necessary as being ''for the children,'' but tax cuts for families to be able to spend more on their children are not called that. They are instead called ''hurtful to the children'' and children aren’t mentioned. Instead what is said is, ''All you'll be able to with the tax cut is to buy a new muffler for your Lexus.'' Go figure.
