The Corrupted Wish Game

[Inkara1]

Sure! ^_^ Of course, it's got undercooked sausage on it and you get diarrhea from it.

I wish I could lose a good 50 or 60 pounds.

 

[BeardofPants]

I'm vegetarian, and I get diarrhoea from it anyway.

Granted, but then you become bulimic.

I wish I didn't have knobbly knees.

 

[Stop Laughing]

Granted. You lose your legs in a freak accident and are on prosthesis for the rest of your life.

I wish I could move away now.

 

[Oz]

Granted. In fact, you have no choice as your house is destroyed in a freak accident involving a heard of elephants and 3000 gallons of uncooked chicken soup.

I wish I could find a clean t-shirt.

 

[SexyBoo]

Granted, but the tshirt is full of holes.

I wish a house would fall on the evil witch who lives in South Carolina.

 

[Stop Laughing]

Granted, but that's your house and is wrecked in the process.

I wish I had more 3 day weekends like this.

 

[chcr]

Granted, but you have to work four twelve hour days afterward each time to make up for it.

I wish I didn't have to open the pool this weekend.

 

[valkyrie]

Granted, but it's because you have a bout of blow-out-your-pants diahrea.

I wish I could fly.

 

[chcr]

Granted, but only on a broom and you are therefore burned as a witch.
*Note that instructions for flying are contained in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.*

I wish Marvin Gaye was still alive.

 

[Oz]

Granted. But he hears a rumour on the grapvine that a man from the irs want's a word about back-taxes and immediately goes into hiding


I wish this place were busier at this hour

 

[Inkara1]

Granted, but the place exceeds its allotted bandwidth in the process and all the paypal donations in the world aren't enough to pay for the bandwidth level the site needs, meaning no more OTC.

I wish my divorce were finally finalized.

 

[valkyrie]

Granted, but it's squiring your little sister to the dance.

I wish all my end-of-semester assignments were done.

Granted... but you are flipping burgers at the local Mr. Happy Burger, covered in grease, wearing a hair net, doing a double shift because your friends had end-of-semester assignments to do, wishing you also had end-of-semester assignments to do.

I wish my room was cooler.

 

[Stop Laughing]

Granted, your room is now an igloo.

I wish our back door would be fixed and work again.

 

[valkyrie]

Granted, but you do all the repairs yourself, become a repairman, and have to wear your pants so that your hairy crack shows.

I wish I had more coffee.

 

[BeardofPants]

Granted but it's old instant coffee which has been sitting in the pantry for years and is now a solidified caramelised lump.

I wish I had strawberries.

 

[Oz]

Granted. I'm sure they can be removed with a simple surgical procedure if ya get tired of 'em

I wish there were an easier way to keep fit than exercise

 

[valkyrie]

Granted, now you have an incurable disease that causes you to waste away and eventually die a slow and painful death.

I wish I wasn't so damn tired, I have to go out tonight to have a beer with a friend. (-_-) zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

 

[G.I.Jane]

Granted, you are not longer tired because you just drank 5 pots of coffee and you have the jitters so bad, you can't see straight. (Much less do anything else!)

I wish this weekend would last longer.

 

[valkyrie]

Granted, you are now unemployed and about to be evicted.

I wish my friends wouldn't try to fix me up on dates.

 

[BlurOfSerenity]

Granted, you are now unemployed and about to be evicted.

I wish my friends wouldn't try to fix me up on dates.

Granted, now they just subdue you and through you in a room with horny old people.

I wish that people did not suck.