Things that don't belong together

[SouthernN'Proud]

My loving and thoughtful wife gave me, among other things, a certificate for a one hour hot stone massage at Christmas.

Me.

The redneck.

In a towel at some fru-fru salon getting a hot stone massage from either some hippie chick or some fag most likely.

I just set the appointment up for next week. This oughta be good for a few giggles. I think I'll wear my overalls, a Dixie Outfitters t-shirt, of course the camo battle flag ball cap, and some muddy work boots for this auspicious occasion.

Pray for a redneck...

 

[paul_valaru]

please use the self addressed stamped envelope to return your man card, thank you.

 

[Professur]

I'll warn you, but you won't listen. You do this once, and if they know what they're doing ..... you'll come back changed. This has nothing to do with the hippie chick or fag .... A properly done hot stone massage will take 10 years off your soul and 20 off your body. Suggest to your missus that she be in lingerie she doesn't mind having shredded and that the tax deduction be at a friend's house by the time you get back. Although ... if she gave it to you ... she already knows.

 

[Professur]

please use the self addressed stamped envelope to return your man card, thank you.

Oh, no, my friend. Doing this gets you the gold membership.

 

[SouthernN'Proud]

I'll warn you, but you won't listen. You do this once, and if they know what they're doing ..... you'll come back changed. This has nothing to do with the hippie chick or fag .... A properly done hot stone massage will take 10 years off your soul and 20 off your body. Suggest to your missus that she be in lingerie she doesn't mind having shredded and that the tax deduction be at a friend's house by the time you get back. Although ... if she gave it to you ... she already knows.

I've heard that these things do wonders for a feller's back. I've also been told that we had better budget one monthly from now on if I do this. If it'll ease this back pain some, I'll do it.

paul...

 

[Professur]

Like I said ... it's highly dependent on the skill of the masseuse. The one who taught me was .... gifted. Let's leave that right there, shall we?

 

[paul_valaru]

I can't understand how anyone can find a massage relaxing. Seriously, I get tense when people touch me.

 

[Professur]

I can't understand how anyone can find a massage relaxing. Seriously, I get tense when people touch me.

That's because you don't trust them.

 

[paul_valaru]

That's because you don't trust them.

D'uh

paranoia is healthy, and ads to a long life.

 

[SouthernN'Proud]

In all honesty, that's one of my main apprehensions about all this. I'm unbelievably ticklish, especially in the ribcage.

 

[paul_valaru]

In all honesty, that's one of my main apprehensions about all this. I'm unbelievably ticklish, especially in the ribcage.

now I have a mental picture.

and I don't like it.

 

[A.B.Normal]

D'uh

paranoia is healthy, and ads to a long life.

When everybody is out to get you ,paranoid is just good thinking.

 

[SouthernN'Proud]

now I have a mental picture.

and I don't like it.

A slightly overweight redneck in a towel hopping about a salon like Daffy Duck and gibbering about his ribcage disturbs you?




















Actually, I'd be worried if it didn't...

 

[chcr]

A slightly overweight redneck in a towel hopping about a salon like Daffy Duck and gibbering about his ribcage disturbs you?

Ooh... kinky.

Gotta agree with Prof re the massage though. Those things are excellent.

 

[Gonz]

I can't understand how anyone can find a massage relaxing. Seriously, I get tense when people touch me.

See, you are still a Jew.

A good massage makes you see God. A bad ones makes you use his name in vain.

 

[PrincessLissa]

Don't worry about the ticklish part. I am beyond ticklish but you are so relaxed that you don't really even realize that you are ticklish.

 

[paul_valaru]

See, you are still a Jew.

Foreskin don't grow back baby!

 

[SouthernN'Proud]

Talk about unwanted mental images...

 

[Gonz]

 

[Professur]

Foreskin don't grow back baby!

http://www.tlctugger.com/

Don't you people ever get tired of being wrong?