When someone says *Sorry*(inspired from another thread)
- Thread starter Spirit
- Start date
Spirit
Kissy Goddess
If they are smart enough to know what you wanna hear, then why wouldn't they be smart enough to understand and tell you why it's wrong to do what they did?Leslie said:
Leslie said:
There's nothing wrong with that, either. Atleast you are not calling them a liar when you do that.
They certainly are smart enough. And they understand full well, and far more than I ever thought. They are telling me exactly why I think it's wrong, so the discussion can be over, and they can go on with their lives after a brief interruption by way of punishment. It's crap because after 4 they already know. The rest is just games.
You've mistaken what I posted. When I'm lied to, I certainly call them on it.
You've mistaken what I posted. When I'm lied to, I certainly call them on it.
I honestly have no idea what you're saying.
Parents should just blatantly accept an obviously false apology why? When they tell a lie, we shouldn't tell them it's a lie? Because calling them on a statement somehow is pinning a broad personality trait onto them? Because the word sorry is somehow magical and is exempt from being a falsehood?
Parents should just blatantly accept an obviously false apology why? When they tell a lie, we shouldn't tell them it's a lie? Because calling them on a statement somehow is pinning a broad personality trait onto them? Because the word sorry is somehow magical and is exempt from being a falsehood?
paul_valaru
100% Pure Canadian Beef
Spirit said:
I do, cause that is what they are, when they lie.
You lie, your a lier, simple.
When one borrows my boots for a costume, and is told NOT to wear them until in costume, and you cathi him running in the schoolyard with it, and he apologizes, great, strike one, it happens, wanted to look cool.
The next week when he takes my sunglasses and gets caught, sorry doesn't cut it, he already showed disrespect for my property once, and was told the proper way of things, second time it is blatant.
I don't see the point of not calling kids on their shit, showing them we KNOW they are trying to bullshit us, to do it any other way raises little whiny spoiled brats who have no idea about personal responsibility (you shared your opinion, now I shared mine).
I'm sorry is NOT a get out of jail free card, it is an acceptance that a lesson has been learnt, and that they realize they where wrong.
Dropping a cup by mistake gets a "I'm sorry" with the response, "it's ok, it was an accident, nothing to be sorry about"
Doing something bad for the 6th time and then an "I'm sorry" gets "you are NOT sorry, if you where, you would not have done it in the first place" in that case the only thing they are sorry about is getting caught.
Winky
Well-Known Member
Sorry doesn’t cut it period.
I don't wanna hear about Sorry.
mebbe how (why) it was wrong
how it won't happen again
but being sorry doesn't change a thing
it is tantamount to making an excuse
which I strictly forbade
If you want the kid to feel bad because you feel bad
you are introducing a mild form of mental illness.
Making excuses is a close cousin too lying
and attempting to escape consequences
besides I never tied my love to whether or not
my kid behaved badly or not
I expressed my hurt because all I ever
wanted for you Son (is) was good things and doing
(insert miscreant behavior here ) will not lead to good things.
Yadda yadda yadda
I don't wanna hear about Sorry.
mebbe how (why) it was wrong
how it won't happen again
but being sorry doesn't change a thing
it is tantamount to making an excuse
which I strictly forbade
If you want the kid to feel bad because you feel bad
you are introducing a mild form of mental illness.
Making excuses is a close cousin too lying
and attempting to escape consequences
besides I never tied my love to whether or not
my kid behaved badly or not
I expressed my hurt because all I ever
wanted for you Son (is) was good things and doing
(insert miscreant behavior here ) will not lead to good things.
Yadda yadda yadda
paul_valaru
100% Pure Canadian Beef
Spirit said:
no, I say THAT was stupid.
I've found like Leslie that most of the time the kids aren't really sorry for their actions, they're simply sorry they got caught. When they lie, I tell them that people don't like liars. When they steal, I tell them people don't like thieves. It's teaching them life. You think their boss is going to pussyfoot around calling them a liar or a theif when they get out in the real world? Nope. I'd like them to realize what real life is like.
paul_valaru
100% Pure Canadian Beef
Spirit said:
It's called treating them like they are humans, not little puppies. That and immediate discipline works great.
and no, not violence, a simple go to your room works for a time out.
goes like this
Go to your room till you are ready to (stop whatever it was you where doing)
comes out starts yelling whining, making excuses, back to the room right away.