Why the hate?

Gato_Solo

Out-freaking-standing OTC member
I was looking for a legal process to get custody of my children when I came across the following website...Here it is...Seems like a lot of bitterness on one side, and a lot of hate on the other. :shrug:
 

Mare

New Member
I am going for my divorce! Went to the Lawyers yesterday! In 2 weeks we will have papers drawn up to send to my soon to be "X".

Its not that I think he will deny me a divorce, But, its the part with the children he may not agree totally with. I want us both to have "joint", which here in FLA. they call it "shared parenting responsibilities". Bahhhhhh :lol2: what a joke! Responsibilities to me, are helping with the kids, clothing, doctors, school, etc......which he does none of that. Also, I want supervised visits, NOT, with an agency or anything, just a "agreed upon third party" being present. Physically he is NOT capable of caring for a 4 yr old, and with our 10 yr old its going to be a hard call.

I just pray that all can be worked out, it would be great if we could both come to an agreement so that a judge doesnt have to make a decision for our children for us. So, i'm going to do everything in my power to try to make this as amicable as possible.
 

Gato_Solo

Out-freaking-standing OTC member
Mare said:
I am going for my divorce! Went to the Lawyers yesterday! In 2 weeks we will have papers drawn up to send to my soon to be "X".

Its not that I think he will deny me a divorce, But, its the part with the children he may not agree totally with. I want us both to have "joint", which here in FLA. they call it "shared parenting responsibilities". Bahhhhhh :lol2: what a joke! Responsibilities to me, are helping with the kids, clothing, doctors, school, etc......which he does none of that. Also, I want supervised visits, NOT, with an agency or anything, just a "agreed upon third party" being present. Physically he is NOT capable of caring for a 4 yr old, and with our 10 yr old its going to be a hard call.

I just pray that all can be worked out, it would be great if we could both come to an agreement so that a judge doesnt have to make a decision for our children for us. So, i'm going to do everything in my power to try to make this as amicable as possible.

I don't like saying this, but the statements in bold are the hate and bitterness I was talking about. I'm sure your 'x' would say the same things about you, if he was here and you were not. Men are just as capable of being good parents as women. :shrug:
 

tonksy

New Member
face it, gato...most men are clueless when it comes to what a child needs. you are the exception to this rule and shouldn't take it personally.
 

Leslie

Communistrator
Staff member
Gato_Solo said:
I don't like saying this, but the statements in bold are the hate and bitterness I was talking about. I'm sure your 'x' would say the same things about you, if he was here and you were not. Men are just as capable of being good parents as women. :shrug:
No. In Mare's case she's right. Don't get on her for that.

In other cases, it can be at times simply hate and bitterness. Not Mare's.
 

Professur

Well-Known Member
tonksy said:
face it, gato...most men are clueless when it comes to what a child needs. you are the exception to this rule and shouldn't take it personally.
I'm so glad I don't qualify as most men.
 

MrBishop

Well-Known Member
This one's cute
"virtually every major personal and social pathology can be traced to fatherlessness more than to any other single factor," says author Stephen Baskerville, a professor of political science at Howard University. Citing violent crime, substance abuse, unwed pregnancy, suicide and other problems, he says, "fatherlessness far surpasses both poverty and race as a predictor of social deviance."
Not having a father corrupts kids? What about having two fathers? or No mother? What if Papa dies...the kids have the same issues?

I hate blind and open statistics. Especially unsupported ones. Its far too easy to work stats down whatever path you want it to go.

ie- 100% of children from lesbian couples grow up healthy, attend university, become heterosexual, get married and stay out of debt.

the catch...I only know one child from a Lesbian couple, so I only sampled one. My results aren't skewed, I swear!!!
 

Leslie

Communistrator
Staff member
I agree with it. My kids would be a lot different if their father was around. Bringing another woman in here won't change that. Nor a man. At times, as in death, it obviously can't be helped, but the notion still stands.

Lack of a male parent figure absolutely has the propensity to cause a great deal of damage to a child.
 

Gato_Solo

Out-freaking-standing OTC member
MrBishop said:
This one's cute
Not having a father corrupts kids? What about having two fathers? or No mother? What if Papa dies...the kids have the same issues?

I hate blind and open statistics. Especially unsupported ones. Its far too easy to work stats down whatever path you want it to go.

Strange you find this disturbing. :D Here's something from Canada...Here's another...and another...and this one...one from the UK...one more...Seeing a pattern here? How about now?...Not original enough?

Now...I've tried to stay away from blatantly biased sites (Men's Rights/Father's Rights), and stuck with mostly mainstream media. Decide for yourself whether there is merit in this or not, but don't deny that there is a problem with a single-parent home...male or female run...
 

Gonz

molṑn labé
Staff member
MrBishop said:
I hate blind and open statistics. Especially unsupported ones. Its far too easy to work stats down whatever path you want it to go.

An interesting phenomena was noted in African Elephants. The males of the herd were removed, to protect them from poachers. Over a period of observed time, the young male jueveniles started bullying the females & elder elephants. They started acting in more aggressive behavior. They began to destroy things.

It's not just humans that live in & grow from a well established familial pattern.
 

Stop Laughing

New Member
I'm a product of a fatherless upbringing because of a divorce. I'm certainly not the worst end of the spectrum as I haven't been arrested or anything (my next door neighbor was though, his father passed away when he was in grade school, and besides being arrested he also had a drinking problem and just recently got out of rehab, and he's not even 20 years old yet), but I probably could've turned out better than I am now, maybe done better in school, not drop out of college, etc. That doesn't mean it's always bad either, I know of another friend whose parents got divorced and he got through just fine, finished college and is now a sports radio broadcaster in Indianapolis. In all 3 of our cases, we were the oldest brother. The only thing I can say is that having no real father certainly didn't help, and I still have a lot of work to do to get my life totally straightened out...
 

Starya

New Member
tonksy said:
face it, gato...most men are clueless when it comes to what a child needs. you are the exception to this rule and shouldn't take it personally.
Uhm, I disagree. I think most men are quite capable of taking care of their kids - if the mother steps back and let them.

That being said, my ex is , unfortunately, not like "most men". But that's a long story, that includes a couple of mental diagnosis', and then some.
 

Mare

New Member
Thanks Les, you do understand my situation.... :winkkiss:

Its not that there is any bitterness - its he's in jail at the moment and his way of thinking and raising a child is WAY Different than mine.....Sure, I would Love for the boys to have a Father/dad in their life but as it turns out, he happens to Not be there for them right now.


I just want my darn divorce over already! :D
 

Gato_Solo

Out-freaking-standing OTC member
Mare said:
Thanks Les, you do understand my situation.... :winkkiss:

Its not that there is any bitterness - its he's in jail at the moment and his way of thinking and raising a child is WAY Different than mine.....Sure, I would Love for the boys to have a Father/dad in their life but as it turns out, he happens to Not be there for them right now.


I just want my darn divorce over already! :D

I thought that kind of divorce was pretty much automatic. :shrug:

BTW...Did I ever tell you that cats taste terrible? :p
 

Gonz

molṑn labé
Staff member
Stop Laughing said:
I'm a product of a fatherless...

As noted, the general population will be worse off without active fathers married to active mothers actively particpating in raising their collective children. As all rules, there are exceptions.
 

Luis G

<i><b>Problemator</b></i>
Staff member
tonksy said:
face it, gato...most men are clueless when it comes to what a child needs. you are the exception to this rule and shouldn't take it personally.

These days women are also clueless when it comes to what a child needs.
 
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