A good joke.

P

PT

Off 'Motherfuckin' Topic Elite
A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.

'Why, of course,' comes the reply.
The first man then asks, 'Where are you from?'

'I'm from Ireland,' replies the second man.

The first man responds by saying, 'You don't say. I'm from Ireland too. Let's have another round to Ireland.'

'Of course,' replies the second man.
Curious, the first man then asks, 'Where in Ireland are you from?'

'Dublin,' comes the reply.
'I can't believe it,' says the first man, 'I'm from Dublin too. Let's have another drink to Dublin.'

'Of course,' replies the second man.

Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks, 'What school did you go to?'

'St Mary's,' replies the second man, 'I graduated in 1962.'

'This is unbelievable,' the first man says. 'I went to St Mary's and I graduated in 1962 too.'

About that time, one of the regulars comes in and sits down at the bar.

'What's been going on?' he asks the barman.

'Nothing much,' replies the barman. 'The O'Malley twins are drunk again.'
 
An elephant asks a camel : "Why are your breasts on your back ?"
"Well" says the camel, "I think that's a strange question from
somebody who's dick is on his face"
 
Mare said:
An elephant asks a camel : "Why are your breasts on your back ?"
"Well" says the camel, "I think that's a strange question from
somebody who's dick is on his face"
Click to expand...
Q: Where is an elephant's genitalia located?

A: On its feet. If an elephant steps on you, you're fucked.
 
Phone conversation


**Pick Up** "Hello?"



"Hi honey, this is Daddy, Is Mommy near the phone?"



"No Daddy, She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Mike "



After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Mike "


"Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now"



Brief Pause



"Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door, and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway"



"Okay Daddy, just a minute"



A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone.


"I did it Daddy"



"And what happened honey?" he asked



"Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming! Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all!"



"Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Mike ?"



"He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit
the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead"





***Long Pause***


***Longer Pause**


Then Daddy says, "Swimming pool?"


Is this 486 -731 ???
 
Mare...I thought this thread was for 'good' jokes. That last one doesn't even rate a tomato. :p
 
picture on the nightstand



After a long night of making love, he notices a photo of another man on her nightstand by the bed.
He begins to worry.

'Is this your husband?' he nervously asks.

'No, silly,' she replies, snuggling up to him.

'Your boyfriend, then?' he continues.

'No, not at all,' she says, nibbling away at his ears.

'Is it your dad or your brother?' he inquires, hoping to be reassured.

'No, no, no!!!' she answers.

'Well, who in the hell is he, then?' he demands.

'That's me before the surgery.’
 
Winky said:
picture on the nightstand



After a long night of making love, he notices a photo of another man on her nightstand by the bed.
He begins to worry.

'Is this your husband?' he nervously asks.

'No, silly,' she replies, snuggling up to him.

'Your boyfriend, then?' he continues.

'No, not at all,' she says, nibbling away at his ears.

'Is it your dad or your brother?' he inquires, hoping to be reassured.

'No, no, no!!!' she answers.

'Well, who in the hell is he, then?' he demands.

'That's me before the surgery.’
Click to expand...
If I read this joke every night before dinner, I'll be nice and trim for the OTC BBQ because it will make me LOSE MY APPETITE.
 
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