Another for the "WTF is wrong with you people" file

SouthernN'Proud said:
Inky...a lesson in bad headline writing. From this headline, the mother did the injecting of feces while in court. The headline should read:

Mother charged in court with injecting son with feces


Come to think, maybe it should read:


Sick chick sticks shit in son, now in trouble thick



:D
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Just drop the "in court" like so:
Mother charged with injecting son with feces
or
Mother accused of injecting son with feces
 
Speaking of fecal matter

Police extract stolen mobile from woman's posterior
By Lester Haines
Published Tuesday 13th September 2005 14:45 GMT


Just what is it about Romanian women and mobes mobile phones? Back in April, we reported on the sticky case of 34-year-old Ruxandra Gardian who attempted to make good her escape with a phone concealed in her vagina.

Unfortunately for her, quick-thinking cops simply rang the thing and the game was up. We suggested at the time that perhaps turning it off was a good plan, but as several readers pointed out, that would have then required the PIN to reactivate the phone.

Fair enough, put it on vibrate then. Forget it, suggested several female readers, for obvious reasons.

So, what's the solution? We honestly don't know, but we do know that sticking a (k)nicked mobile where the sun really doesn't shine is not it. And here's why:

Petronela Brandus, 24, has become the latest "body cavity phone blagger" to have her collar felt after police stopped the suspected thief as she got off a bus in Iasi. Passengers had apparently seen the 24-year-old lift the device, but cops could find no trace of it.

In the time-honoured fashion, they then rang the number and heard the tell-tale sound of internal phone action. In this case, however, Brandus had not gone for the relatively-simple vaginal option, but rather the less convenient back passage route.

It did her no good. Back at the station, a strip search quickly retrieved the offending item. Officer Madalin Taranu told local daily 7 Plus: "We've had people hiding things in their bras and knickers before, but this was a new one."

One question remains: what then happened to the phone? In contrast to the case of Ruxandra Gardian - and indeed that of the Jamaican fellow mobile-tamponer who started this intimate criminal trend - its owner subsequently accepted it back.

Officer Taranu explained: "The station doctor extracted the phone and we sprayed it with disinfectant." We should hope so too. ®
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Source
 
Professur said:
You are so terribly wrong, my friend. Like fashion, anything accepted without resistance spreads. It'll be all the rage in your neck of the woods before you know it. And by then, anyone against it will be treated just like opponents of gay marriage are today. And so the slope gets a little slicker, a little steeper. As more and more, people embrace the animal within. And in so doing, decend to little more than animals themselves.
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I hate being right.


Channel 4 to televise UK's first 'Masturbate-a-thon'
US degeneracy crosses the Pond
By Lester Haines
Published Tuesday 18th July 2006 11:56 GMT


NSFW Not content with dragging the good old US of A straight down to Hell with its public displays of mass masturbatory degeneracy, the San Fran-based Centre for Sex and Culture - organiser of the legendary "Masturbate-a-thon" - will in August travel to London for a similar event in which Brits will be invited to tug the trouser snake and pet the beaver for the benefit of safe sex charities and Channel 4 viewers.

While the news that indie production company Zig Zag will be present in Clerkenwell on August 5 to capture the solo cumfest will come as great relief to C4 schedulers desperate - given the abject failure of Big Brother contestants to engage in live sexual activity for the gratification of the UK's viewing public - for footage of TV wannabes cracking one off for charity, we're pretty certain that Middle England is as we speak preparing to decry the utter collapse of British society to the highest authority: The Daily Mail.

Indeed, the Guardian - which incidentally fails, like the exponent of free love and sexual immorality that it is, to roundly condemn the Masturbate-a-thon - notes that the Mail once declared former Channel 4 top dog Michael Grade "pornographer in chief".

And not without reason. Those of you who can remember the early, heady days of Channel 4 will recall that the first signs of its eventual descent into the squalid mire were already evident. In 1983, some bright spark decided to commission Minipops - the highly-questionable showcase for kids dressed as adults flaunting themselves for the Gary Glitter demographic.

In 1985, the channel broadcast Derek Jarman's homoerotic martyrdom spectacular Sebastiane, whose male full-frontal nudity and comedy Latin dialogue provoked outrage in equal measure.

The rest, as we know, is history: Big Brother (social inadequates failing dismally to indulge in live sexual activity); "Penis week" (getting to grips with the penis, featuring lots and lots of peni); The Tube (remembered for its Jools Holland prime-time "groovy fuckers" scandal); and Jamie's Kitchen (unexpurgated Mockney geezer murdering the word "pukka").

The prosecution rests. The televised Masturbate-a-thon, meanwhile, will form part of a C4 "Wank week". Zig Zag declared in a press release: "This year it's time to bring the event across the pond to see if the great British public can embrace mass public masturbation. It's time to find out if the only things allowed to be stiff in Britain are upper lips."

No, there's another thing that can be stiff in Britain: a fine from the Broadcasting Standards Authority. And if those of you in the Home Counties who are right now writing to David Cameron demanding the return of the birch, the cat o'nine tails and the Tyburn Tree for transgressions of the UK's television guidelines consider this inadequate punishment, what about tying the C4 commissioning editor and Zig Zag producer to a couple of crosses and pumping them full of arrows while naked Roman soldiers pleasure themselves to raise cash for AIDS charities? Now that's what we call TV entertainment. ®
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When they come up with a cell phone that jerks you off on tv, then they'll have something. :lloyd:
 
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