Baking Cookies

kat2220

kat2220

New Member
Baking Christmas Cookies (with your cat)


1. Look in cookbook for cookie recipe.



2. Get cup of coffee.
3. Get cat off of cookbook.
4. Find that special recipe.
5. Get cat's nose out of coffee mug.
6. Go to fridge and get eggs.
7. Get dry ingredients from cupboard.
8. Break eggs in small bowl.
9. Sift dry ingredients in large bowl.
10. Answer the phone.


11. Cat ate eggs; get more from fridge.
12. Get cat out of flour bowl and dust cat off.
13. Get Band-Aids for scratches on hands.


14. Throw flour out and get more.
15. Preheat oven for cookies.
16. Looking at cat &wanting to bake cat now.
Cat runs for cover into bathroom.
17. Flour the counter to roll out cookie dough.
18. Big crash in bathroom; run to see what happened.
19. Cat has TP all over floor; stuff spilled
and knocked over on top of bathroom counter.

20. Yell at cat. Cat falls in toilet bowl.


21. Can sense cat is angry.
22. Take cat out of toilet to dry cat off.
23. Get bandages to cover more scratches
on arms and legs.
24. Cleanup bathroom.
25. Hear a thump in kitchen.
Oh Golly ... now what?
26. Get cat off floured counter in kitchen.
27. Try to pick out cat hairs from flour.
28. Step on cat's tail and get bitten.
29. Get coat, car keys, and go to store to buy cookies!!!
 
highwayman

highwayman

New Member
kat2220 said:
18. Big crash in bathroom; run to see what happened.
19. Cat has TP all over floor; stuff spilled
and knocked over on top of bathroom counter.

20. Yell at cat. Cat falls in toilet bowl.
Click to expand...

21. Snag cat by tail and chunk out of back door into neibors yard with the three rottweilers while threatening to neuter said cat... :headbang:
 
Gonz

Gonz

molṑn labé
Staff member
highwayman said:
21. Snag cat by tail and chunk out of back door into neibors yard with the three rottweilers while threatening to neuter said cat... :headbang:
Click to expand...

nuh-ugh, that's be #1
 
Gato_Solo

Gato_Solo

Out-freaking-standing OTC member
kat2220 said:
HISS, CLAW!!!!!
Click to expand...

Sorry...but that's just plain wrong on so many levels...You realize that any cat that sees that pic is going to single out your cat for ridicule and bullying, right? :p
 
Kruz

Kruz

New Member
Funny Stuff ....:)
that reminds me of a similar e-mail I got... only it involves Parrots.


> > > HOW TO STUFF YOUR TURKEY ON THANKSGIVING
> > >
> > > Ingredients:
>
> > > 1 Turkey
> > > Stuffing
> > > Sweet Potatoes
> > > Mashed Potatoes with Gravy
> > > Green Beans
> > > Cranberry Sauce
> > > Hot rolls and Butter
> > > Relish tray
> > > Pumpkin Pie with Whipped Cream
> > > Hot Coffee
> > >
> > > Get up early in the morning & have a cup of coffee.
> > > It's going to be a long day, so place your Parrot on a
> > > perch nearby to keep you company while you prepare the
> > > meal.
> > >
> > > Remove Parrot from kitchen counter and return him to
> > > perch. Prepare stuffing, and remove Parrot from edge
> > > of stuffing bowl and return him to perch.
> > >
> > > Stuff turkey & place it in the roasting pan, and
> > > remove Parrot from edge of pan and return him to
> > > perch. Have another cup of coffee to steady your
> > > nerves.
> > >
> > > Remove Parrot's head from turkey cavity and return him
> > > to perch, and re-stuff the turkey.
> > >
> > > Prepare relish tray, and remember to make twice as
> > > much so that you'll have a regular size serving after
> > > the Parrot has eaten his fill.
> > >
> > > Remove Parrot from kitchen counter and return him to
> > > perch. Prepare cranberry sauce, discard berries
> > > accidentally flung to the floor by Parrot. Peel
> > > potatoes, remove Parrot from edge of potato bowl and
> > > return him to perch.
> > >
> > > Arrange sweet potatoes in a pan & cover with brown
> > > sugar & mini marshmallows. Remove Parrot from edge of
> > > pan and return him to perch. Replace missing
> > > marshmallows.
> > >
> > > Brew another pot of coffee. While it is brewing, clean
> > > up the torn filter. Pry coffee bean from Parrot beak.
>
> > > Have another cup of coffee & remove Parrot from
> > > kitchen counter and return him to perch

> > >
> > > When time to serve the meal: Place roasted turkey on a
> > > large platter, and cover beak marks with strategically
> > > placed sprigs of parsley.
> > >
> > > Put mashed potatoes into serving bowl, rewhip at last
> > > minute to conceal beak marks and claw prints. Place
> > > pan of sweet potatoes on sideboard, forget
> > > presentation as there's no way to hide the areas of
> > > missing marshmallows.
> > >
> > > Put rolls in decorative basket, remove Parrot from
> > > side of basket and return him to perch. Also remove
> > > beaked rolls, serve what's left. Set a stick of butter
> > > out on the counter to soften - think better and return
> > > it to the refrigerator.
> > >
> > > Wipe down counter to remove mashed potato claw tracks.
> > > Remove Parrot from kitchen counter and return him to
> > > perch.
> > >
> > > Cut the pie into serving slices. Wipe whipped cream
> > > off Parrot's beak and place large dollops of remaining
> > > whipped cream on pie slices. Whole slices are then
> > > served to guests, beaked-out portions should be
> > > reserved for host & hostess.
> > >
> > > Place Parrot inside cage & lock the door. Sit down to
> > > a nice relaxing dinner with your family - accompanied
> > > by plaintive cries of "WANT DINNER!" from the other
> > > room.
> > >
> > > HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!
Click to expand...
 
Nixy

Nixy

Elimi-nistrator
Staff member
Gonz said:
nuh-ugh, that's be #1
Click to expand...

Hell yeah, that is another reason I love dogs. The highest they get without assistance is the COUCH, definately not the cupboard (unless you leave a little set of stairs up onto the cupboard inwhich case you deserve what's coming to ya!)
 
Gato_Solo

Gato_Solo

Out-freaking-standing OTC member
Nixy said:
Hell yeah, that is another reason I love dogs. The highest they get without assistance is the COUCH, definately not the cupboard (unless you leave a little set of stairs up onto the cupboard inwhich case you deserve what's coming to ya!)
Click to expand...

Wrong. Dogs can get higher than you think. I had a puppy once who could leap from the floor to a counter over 3 ft high. The only reason we found out about his acrobatic skills was his penchant for stealing veal chops left on the counter to thaw...First we caught him...then we taught him never to do it again. :devious:
 
Nixy

Nixy

Elimi-nistrator
Staff member
Gato_Solo said:
Wrong. Dogs can get higher than you think. I had a puppy once who could leap from the floor to a counter over 3 ft high. The only reason we found out about his acrobatic skills was his penchant for stealing veal chops left on the counter to thaw...First we caught him...then we taught him never to do it again. :devious:
Click to expand...

Well, my dog can't do that. We used to have to, in her younger days, always make sure our chairs were pushed into the table or else she's hop on up and help herself to our leftovers...but never ever onto the counters.
 
Nixy

Nixy

Elimi-nistrator
Staff member
tonksy said:
I want a puppy. I really really wants a puppy.
Click to expand...
Everyone child should have a puppy. You have two children so I think that's grounds to argue for two puppies :D (Hey, atleast that way one puppy would be a compromise :D )
 
tonksy

tonksy

New Member
Nixy said:
Everyone child should have a puppy. You have two children so I think that's grounds to argue for two puppies :D (Hey, atleast that way one puppy would be a compromise :D )
Click to expand...
You're preachin' to the choir, toots!
 
tonksy

tonksy

New Member
Nixy said:
pffft I had 3 or 4 of those as a child...I still used to wish on stars for a real puppie...all the time...finally when I was 12 or 13 ish my mom gave in to me, my brother and my dad :D
Click to expand...
They make noise now, Nix.
 
Nixy

Nixy

Elimi-nistrator
Staff member
tonksy said:
They make noise now, Nix.
Click to expand...

But they don't crawl down under the covers and keep your toes warm on cold winter nights. My dog now sleeps with my mom all the time but twas I who broke the "The dog isn't allowed in the beds" rule...not that my dad was to fond of that rule anyway...but we used to put her bed in my room one night and my brother's the next...well, I used to take her out of her bed and put her in mine :D
 
Nixy

Nixy

Elimi-nistrator
Staff member
tonksy said:
They make noise now, Nix.
Click to expand...
Besides, I thought you were on my side :p

I'm drudging up the saddest of the sad stories from my efforts to get a dog when I was younger...thought maybe they'd help ya in swaying Rob...after all, YOUR girls could be wishing on stars for a dog...you should tell him that :D
 
tonksy

tonksy

New Member
Nixy said:
Besides, I thought you were on my side :p

I'm drudging up the saddest of the sad stories from my efforts to get a dog when I was younger...thought maybe they'd help ya in swaying Rob...after all, YOUR girls could be wishing on stars for a dog...you should tell him that :D
Click to expand...
I am on your side! A stuffed pound puppy is NO substitute! I was just saying that they've upgraded the toy.
 
Gato_Solo

Gato_Solo

Out-freaking-standing OTC member
tonksy said:
I am on your side! A stuffed pound puppy is NO substitute! I was just saying that they've upgraded the toy.
Click to expand...

Maybe not, but you (okay...Rob) won't be cleaning up after it, either...
 
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