Nixy said:
PT the fact that we can talk about everything and are very comfortablew ith each other and are the best of friends (and both believe we will stay friends even if we're not together) is what makes it so hard sometimes because I think "if that's there why can't we be more".
sorry Nixy
Everyone has given you excellent advice. Advice that was given to me just a few weeks earlier by my group of friends here.
I recently got dumped by my man, one whom I cared very much for, for many years. We started off as really good friends and (what I think, now, was wrong) ventured into a relationship together. (Friends for 8 years, a couple for 3 mos.) We promised each other at the beginning of our relationship that we would be honest with each other and not compromise our friendship under any circumstances. My biggest problem with the whole thing (getting involved) was losing the great friendship that we already had. And although, prior to the relationship, we used to talk about everything and anything under the sun...being in the boyfriend/girlfriend status, just somehow got in the way of our being able to be the same friends that we started off as. (Not in my case, but his.) I'm sad that we lost that. I can't look at him in the face and not be totally pissed off at him, yet, feel so crappy because I'm feeling that way towards a friend whom I loved and still love (as a friend).
I feel you when you say that its hard because if we can stay friends, why can't we be more? I ask myself that everyday. I think I just wanted to be "the ONE" for him and he for me. Our promise to remain friends is still something that we're working on (at least I'm trying). Its hard on both our parts because he knows that he hurt me and I know that he's not
in love with me. I think it also has a lot more to do with me accepting the fact that our relationship didn't work, move on and be happy that at least I still have him in my life as a friend.
Nixy, it takes time.
*offering a hug* I'm not totally over him and its been a month or so. Its okay to wallow, wallowing was good. Friends have been the best form of comfort for me. Just keep your chin up!