Cheating

kuulani

kuulani

New Member
Gonz said something in Luisette's marriage thread that got me thinking about cheating. Why do it? Okay, I understand the "why" ... it's exciting, it's new, whatever. It's not for me.

I told me husband from the beginning, if he really loves me then break up with me before he cheats on me. It's that simple. I would rather be hurt from a breakup, than hurt from finding out he's cheated on me.

What about you? Would you rather break up or would you rather stay together?
 
God damn Americans ;)

I just don't know how you can sleep with someone you know is sleeping with someone else. Eeeew, cooties.
 
Ku'u, you hear time and time again of wimmen sleeping with married men (or vice versa) believing that he's going to leave his wife for them.

Hello??? You're living proof that he fucks around on his wife ... but you think he won't with you????
 
Professur said:
Ku'u, you hear time and time again of wimmen sleeping with married men (or vice versa) believing that he's going to leave his wife for them.

Hello??? You're living proof that he fucks around on his wife ... but you think he won't with you????
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Well, yeah, and then there are also the dumbasses who think those girls really want them. When in fact the girl's only desire is to ruin the relationship with his wife.
 
I'd leave first. Probably wait until the divorce was final. :shrug: I promised Dara that would be the case and I keep my promises whenever possible. Somebody asked once, "if you knew no one would ever know?" My answer to that is that I'd know. I hear all the time about how atheists aren't supposed to have integrity or morals or any of that. Surprise. :blank:

Re sleeping with (who has time to sleep?) someone who's sleeping with someone else, at one time in my life I dated around quite a little. I assume most of the women I slept with did the same (none of my business, really). I took a shower from time to time as, I assume, did they. :shrug:
 
I cheated on my ex. We both reacted to my miscarriage incredibly bad and I turned to someone else. In retrospect I see that I was young and stupid and very distraught. I am not justifying my actions, merely shedding light on why, perhaps, folks cheat.
Nowadays, I don't need the drama of the sneaking around - how tiring. I am happy with my life and my situation.
 
I'm a serial monogamist - I don't cheat and I don't think about 'the next relationship'. I'm in a relationship now and will do whatever I can to rescue it.
 
Break up. Haven't cheated. Won't cheat. If a piece of ass is worth disgracing myself & destroying my family, them I'm worthless.

I possibly could forgive a one-night stand with a stranger. Once. Not likely but maybe. It would be ugly & nasty for a long time but the potential is there. I could never, under any circumstances forgive an ongoing relationship or one that involved someone close to us both.

I've had a couple of ex's cheat on me. Once.
 
Professur said:
Ku'u, you hear time and time again of wimmen sleeping with married men (or vice versa) believing that he's going to leave his wife for them.

Hello??? You're living proof that he fucks around on his wife ... but you think he won't with you????
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Wait, wait, wait. No, the question of my husband cheating has never crossed my mind. I just told him that if he even thinks about it, to break up with me first. My hubby has my complete trust :D
 
Luis G said:
Well, yeah, and then there are also the dumbasses who think those girls really want them. When in fact the girl's only desire is to ruin the relationship with his wife.
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I'm pretty sure those are few and far between...I think more often than not the girl just isn't giving any thought to the guy's wife and relationship. Even if she's just sleeping with him for sex I don't think that MOST people are that vindictive that they'd do it just to ruin the guy's relationship...even if she isn't looking for a relationship with him I think her motivation would usually be sex...and that's all.

With that said, it's still wrong and the girl is a tramp for sleeping with a married man but I really don't think the thought in her head is "hahaha I'm gonna sleep with this bastard and ruin his relationship."...I think it's more "He's hot, I'll sleep with him, his wife will never know!"
 
Gonz said:
What's the difference? If it is clear there is a spouse, it's an attack on the relationship.
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Oh, I'm not saying it's right in anyway. But, Luis said that girls sleep with married guys WANTING to ruin the guy's relationship with his wife. I'm saying that while the girl knows sleeping with him COULD ruin the guy's relationship that is not their MOTIVATION. Their motivation is purely selfish, they want sex. They probably don't care if the guy's relationship gets ruined but it's not their REASON for sleeping with him.
 
If you know someone is married & still spread your legs (or get it up) then you are attacking the relationship. Foreknowledge (unlike foreplay) denotes guilt.
 
Gonz said:
If you know someone is married & still spread your legs (or get it up) then you are attacking the relationship. Foreknowledge (unlike foreplay) denotes guilt.
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Yes, the "other woman" is guilty as soon as she knows he's married, I'm not disputing that.

What I'm saying is her MOTIVATION is not ruining the relationship that implies she is sleeping with the guy not for her own pleasure but to ruin the relationship. I think the girl's motivation is to get herself off...and she just doesn't care about his relationship...she's not actively trying to ruin it, she's just indifferent abotu it.
 
Oooh .. I have a question here. What constitutes "cheating" to you, personally? Is it a physical act? Or is the thought alone enough? What about online crap? Cam interaction sites? Is that cheating?

I may not be the best person in the world but when I am in a committed relationship, I don't cheat. I might *think* about it, but I don't do it. Me and a friend had this conversation and his stance was that webcam 'play' isn't cheating because no one is being 'touched', per say. I say it's still an intimate act between two (or more) people who are not included in the so-called 'committed' relationship and so it is, in fact, cheating.

What do you think?
 
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