Children? Your Method of Punishment...
- Thread starter Mare
- Start date
chcr
Too cute for words
Well, my son is 28, and he's 6'2" and in pretty good shape, so spanking is right out of the question.Mare said:
I do however believe in corporal punishment. I even want them to bring it back for certain adult crimes. My rule of thumb for children (mind you I never used it, my son was fourteen when I met his mom, even that's too old for spanking, but this is how my dad worked it and it worked very well) would be:
1. Ask the child if they understand why they're being spanked. If they don't understand, there isn't much point to any punishment.
2. Make them repeat the reason or reasons to you.
3. You don't use a belt or a stick, use your bare hand.
As for adults (such things as DUI, shoplifting, etc.) a prescribed number of lashes to the back, attended by a physician, duty to be rotated by random drawing or some such. I just think if you got twenty lashes for drunk driving, it would be a much more effective deterrent than a fine and time served.
Edited because I r a idjit.
tonksy
New Member
i have 2 toddlers. it's a little hairraising at times. we use a combo of scolding or harsh voices, timeouts, and when nothing else works or more severe action is called for we will spank...mind you, it is almost always a spanking on the diaper or through clothes. marlowe has had 2 bare bottom spankings and both times she knew that if she didn't cease and desist she would get one.
i have found that sometimes timeouts and raised voices just don't carry the same certainty. they remember the spankings and usually try not to get one.
i try to teach my children the consequences of their actions. for example, if they don't want to eat the dinner that is prepared for everyone to eat then they don't have to...but then they will deal with their hunger. they can have sippy cups of water only if they do not eat. they are, however, welcome to return to their chairs to eat their dinner, which has been saved for them. if they do eat they can have a dessert. hence they live with their consequences. no eat = hunger, eat = dessert.
i have found that sometimes timeouts and raised voices just don't carry the same certainty. they remember the spankings and usually try not to get one.
i try to teach my children the consequences of their actions. for example, if they don't want to eat the dinner that is prepared for everyone to eat then they don't have to...but then they will deal with their hunger. they can have sippy cups of water only if they do not eat. they are, however, welcome to return to their chairs to eat their dinner, which has been saved for them. if they do eat they can have a dessert. hence they live with their consequences. no eat = hunger, eat = dessert.
brownjenkins
New Member
three boys (2, 6, 10)... never raised a hand to any of 'em... yet 
i have nothing against it, but wanted to try and see if they could be kept in line without it... it's worked out pretty well either putting them in the room for a bit... or sometimes for the night
also taking away things they enjoy for a period of time... i always try to be consistant... if i say no tv for a week, it's no tv for a week no matter how good they are, or how much they piss and moan... my wife's a bit more of a softy... but then again, they listen to me the first time
i have nothing against it, but wanted to try and see if they could be kept in line without it... it's worked out pretty well either putting them in the room for a bit... or sometimes for the night
also taking away things they enjoy for a period of time... i always try to be consistant... if i say no tv for a week, it's no tv for a week no matter how good they are, or how much they piss and moan... my wife's a bit more of a softy... but then again, they listen to me the first time
Mare said:
Kinda....biologically they ain't mine. but I've played "dad" for a long time'
Enough to turn me into a nervous wreck
It used to be using a harsh tone of voice, luckily they are now at the age where they realise when I'm pissed at them so they kinda (sometimes) behave themselves
A slap around bare legs never hurt anyone......only recall having to do it once or twice tho', when they did something so stupid that it was gonna hurt themselves/others. They didn't respond well to Time-Outs..that just gave them more time to conduct there plans to overthrow me as head of the house
Lately, the last year or so, I've found that sitting them down and making them explain exactly why they've done something to work quite well.......and it's kinda fun watchin' them squirm as they know they have to use their wits to try to get outa trouble I have a (soon to be) 11 year old.
I do not spank. I do not use time outs. Well, sometimes I will send him to his room, but when he is in there he is free to do whatever he wants, be it read, play or whatever, so it can't be considered a time out (from what I know of the method).
I can't really say I have a certain "method" of punishment. If he does something wrong, there will be consequenses of some sort, but I have noe "method". If I tell him to stop playing Nintendo, and he fails to comply, he may have to morn over the loss of his joypad for a certain period of time. Stuff like that. Talking to him also works pretty well.
As far as him pushing me goes.. Sure he can make me want to claw my way through walls or breathe into a plastic bag at times, but hey. It's not something he does deliberately. He's got ADD, and needs constant reminders about stuff, and even worse than that: he is just as absent minded as me. Chip of the old block..
I do not spank. I do not use time outs. Well, sometimes I will send him to his room, but when he is in there he is free to do whatever he wants, be it read, play or whatever, so it can't be considered a time out (from what I know of the method).
I can't really say I have a certain "method" of punishment. If he does something wrong, there will be consequenses of some sort, but I have noe "method". If I tell him to stop playing Nintendo, and he fails to comply, he may have to morn over the loss of his joypad for a certain period of time. Stuff like that. Talking to him also works pretty well.
As far as him pushing me goes.. Sure he can make me want to claw my way through walls or breathe into a plastic bag at times, but hey. It's not something he does deliberately. He's got ADD, and needs constant reminders about stuff, and even worse than that: he is just as absent minded as me. Chip of the old block..
Wow Inky. You really need to send yourself to timeout for being argumentative.
I believe in a nice sharp crack across the ass, but only as a last option, and only if they've been warned that it's coming. For the most part we use time-outs or take aways as punishment. Nintendos and computers seem to be the best items to take away for the younger ones. Drivers licenses and permits for the older. How much do they drive me up the wall? I'm 34 years old and half my head is gray. That's how much.
I believe in a nice sharp crack across the ass, but only as a last option, and only if they've been warned that it's coming. For the most part we use time-outs or take aways as punishment. Nintendos and computers seem to be the best items to take away for the younger ones. Drivers licenses and permits for the older. How much do they drive me up the wall? I'm 34 years old and half my head is gray. That's how much.
paul_valaru
100% Pure Canadian Beef
No kids, so no punishments
but my mom had a good one when i was young, had to go one year no tv no comics no entertaining books no going to friends houses....
one year, and she stuck to it
but my mom had a good one when i was young, had to go one year no tv no comics no entertaining books no going to friends houses....
one year, and she stuck to it
Professur
Well-Known Member
Mare said:
That's my only rule. I'll never hit the kids with anything other than my hand. On occaision I've hucked a book at their legs to bring them down for running in the house, but spankings are always a hands on affair. That way, I know exactly how hard I've hit them, by how much my hand hurts. But there's no set rule for punishments. It's always a matter of what's appropriate. And, FTR, V2.0 would much rather a spanking than lose DragonBall effin Z.
Oh, and spanking ... never more than one swat. Ever.
paul_valaru
100% Pure Canadian Beef
HomeLAN said:
as stupid as it sounds, I didn't do my homework (this was grade 5) and I was stubborn about it, and lied about it, and jsut refused to do it, so she said "one more time, and no tv for a year".
well the next day came home with ANOTHER note from the teacher, and hence no tv, so i read comics, a monthinto the punishment she realized I was unfazed (and STILL not doing homework) no comics another month in, reading fun books bang no more books unless it was educational.
Of course summer came went to camp, no TVs up there, came home still puished read all my sisters educational books (she was in Uni at the time studying psych) so questioned her on pavlovs theories (minored in philosophy) so we had discussions on nichze.
started doing my homework (barely passed grade 5) and in febuary I was allowed to watch tv again, and realized I didn't miss it at all.