*dong* your daily jokes have arrived! (DONG DONG, for Sf)

Psycho

Psycho

New Member
Ok, so they're not exactly daily yet, but who cares...


Pack a parachute

A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to take
pictures of a great forest fire. He was advised that a small
plane would be waiting to fly him over the fire.

The photographer arrived at the airport just an hour before
sundown. Sure enough, a small Cessna airplane was waiting.
He jumped in with his equipment and shouted, "Let's go!"

The tense man sitting in the pilot's seat swung the plane into
the wind and soon they were in the air, though flying
erratically.

"Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer,
"and make several low-level passes."

"Why?" asked the nervous pilot.

"Because I'm going to take pictures!" yelled the photographer.
"I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures."

After a long pause, the "pilot" replied:
"You mean you're not my instructor?"
Click to expand...


Amazing indian

Two cowboys come across an Indian lying on his stomach with an ear to the ground.
One of the Cowboys stops and says to the other, "You see that there Indian?"

"Yeah," says the other cowboy.

"Look," says the first guy, "he's listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in
any direction."

Just then the Indian looks up. "Covered wagon," he says, "about two miles away. Have
two horses, one brown, one white. Man, woman, child, furniture in wagon."

"Astounding!" says the cowboy to his friend.
"This Indian knows how far away they are, how many horses, what color they are, who
is in the wagon, and what is in the wagon. Truly amazing!!!"

The Indian looks up and says, "Yep, they freakin' ran over me about a half hour ago."
Click to expand...


Nekkid in the garden

A beautiful blonde woman loved growing tomatoes, but
couldn't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day
while taking a stroll she came upon a gentlemen neighbor
who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red
tomatoes. The woman asked the gentlemen, "What do you
do to get your tomatoes so red?"

The gentlemen responded, "Well, twice a day I stand in
front of my tomato garden and expose myself, and my
tomatoes turn red from blushing so much."

Well, the woman was so impressed, she decided to try
doing the same thing to her tomato garden to see if it
would work. So twice a day for two weeks she exposed
herself to her garden hoping for the best.

One day the gentlemen was passing by and asked the
woman, "By the way, How did you make out? Did your
tomatoes turn red?"

"No" she replied, "but my cucumbers are enormous."
Click to expand...
 
ARGH! PLEASE! Edit that title! :eek:


I can't take much d**g anymore! *curls up into a small ball and rolls to the corner*



LMAO @ the blonde :D
 
thats rite cause my joke was the best i mean thing about it herpes an action?

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
unbelievable
 
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