paul_valaru
100% Pure Canadian Beef
Well it's Rosh Hashana tomorrow night, and the WHOLE family is getting together, all 30 plus of us, and I am already getting the queasy feeling in my stomach.
where to start? Well the one reason we all put up with each other 3 times a year is my Grandmother, very cool lady, but this year she is in the hospital, so she won't be there to keep us all civil to each other.
And my aunt the bitch is now not talking to my mother or her boyfriend (well no loss there, within 5 minutes of me showing up she won't be talking to me neither).
Then there are my 9 younger cousins....
One is In calgary, so she will nto be attending (lucky bitch)
next oldest is a whinny little brat, with no social skills
next is a cool redhead, but they never sit us near each other
Then the...well i won't use bad language, but lets just say she shares her affections freely
then there is another cool one that will be much better is she moves out, and if she actually called me like she says EVERY holiday
then the boys
the comidian
the reserved jock
the pretty boy
and the dope fiend
Then there is me "the quiet serial killer, black sheep one"
my sister "Miss Manners"
my 2 nephews Bratty and brattier
of course my wife "the catholic" (why isn't she readig from the book???)
my brother in law (he doesn't get a nickname)
imagine all these peopel with my mom her boyfriend 3 aunts 3 uncles all very loud opinionated people in a small room drinking wine by the gallon (it's what we do to prevent us from killing each other).
add in the worm.
us: "how are you"
the worm: "well my prostrate..."
us: *running away
This is what I have to deal with Wednesday night, it's not pretty, and gets messy, but we have to love our families right?
right?
Any horror stories out there? I know mine is tame, but I have to live it, so It's a nightmare to me.
where to start? Well the one reason we all put up with each other 3 times a year is my Grandmother, very cool lady, but this year she is in the hospital, so she won't be there to keep us all civil to each other.
And my aunt the bitch is now not talking to my mother or her boyfriend (well no loss there, within 5 minutes of me showing up she won't be talking to me neither).
Then there are my 9 younger cousins....
One is In calgary, so she will nto be attending (lucky bitch)
next oldest is a whinny little brat, with no social skills
next is a cool redhead, but they never sit us near each other
Then the...well i won't use bad language, but lets just say she shares her affections freely
then there is another cool one that will be much better is she moves out, and if she actually called me like she says EVERY holiday
then the boys
the comidian
the reserved jock
the pretty boy
and the dope fiend
Then there is me "the quiet serial killer, black sheep one"
my sister "Miss Manners"
my 2 nephews Bratty and brattier
of course my wife "the catholic" (why isn't she readig from the book???)
my brother in law (he doesn't get a nickname)
imagine all these peopel with my mom her boyfriend 3 aunts 3 uncles all very loud opinionated people in a small room drinking wine by the gallon (it's what we do to prevent us from killing each other).
add in the worm.
us: "how are you"
the worm: "well my prostrate..."
us: *running away
This is what I have to deal with Wednesday night, it's not pretty, and gets messy, but we have to love our families right?
right?
Any horror stories out there? I know mine is tame, but I have to live it, so It's a nightmare to me.
