first a cheater, now a perve?

never2muchRAM

never2muchRAM

New Member
ok, i think its already been established that i am a jerk cuz of my comments in the "about cheaters" thread, where i said i dont consicer "dating" someone who is involved with someone you dont know "cheating" on my part.

what i want to know now, is am i a perve too? i just made a date with a seemingly very mature 19 year old who carries herself very well. i have no idea what is going to happen, or even if we'll actually end up going out, but am i a perve for wanting to just go out on a date and get to know her? who knows if we will have anything in common, and if we dont, that will be that, but she seems really nice, so am i a perve for wanting to find out about her? she is extremely beautiful in a ladylike kind of way.

gosh the pickens are slim here on maui. (unless of course you just want lots of meaningless sex with tourist girls who will obsess about you and idolize you as that tan island boy they met once...)
 
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RD_151

New Member
That last part doesn't sound so bad. Nah, that doesn't make ya a perv. It makes you normal. I mean what guy wouldn't want to go out with a hot 19 year old. I'm you are that much older. If you were 60, I'd say you should at least find a 20 year old though.
 
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greenfreak

New Member
never2muchRAM said:
gosh the pickens are slim here on maui. (unless of course you just want lots of meaningless sex with tourist girls who will obsess about you and idolize you as that tan island boy they met once...)
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*ahem* I think we need a picture of you for the photo gallery, tan island boy. :D

Ask Ku'u and Na, I've got a thing for Hawaiian men. :headbng2:

And if you are in your mid 20's, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. You already said she carries herself well for 19, and if you're not going into it with pre-conceived notions, I think it's fine.
 
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PT

Off 'Motherfuckin' Topic Elite
never2muchRAM said:
gosh the pickens are slim here on maui. (unless of course you just want lots of meaningless sex with tourist girls who will obsess about you and idolize you as that tan island boy they met once...)
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Doesn't sound too bad to me. :shrug:

As for dating a 19 year old, if you're only 25, that's fine. A perv would be dating someone that is under 18. Or if you were 50 or something, but then I'd still idolize you. :D
 
a13antichrist

a13antichrist

New Member
:D RD :D

It's pervy to want a nubile young girl. It's not pervy to want a classy lady who happens to be a bit younger than she looks.

The way I see it, ask yourself if you would be hesitant to present her to someone on whom you needed to make a good impression.
In the end though what matters is whether you yourself feel pervy going out with her.

As for cheating, I ain't gonna reply in that hread cos it's too damn fairy, but I personally don't think it's that big a deal. I won't ever cheat on my gf, but because of the principle rather than anything else. She would be very upset if I did, therefore it's something that is out of the question. Same goes for her - it wouldn't bother me all that much in principle if she "cheated", but since she thinks cheating is a bad thing, in her mind she's doing me wrong but doing it anyway. Therefore not to be tolerated.

As for the "third party", I don't see this as cheating in any form whatsoever - s/he is entitled to search his/her happiness as much as anyone else. Love is inherently selfish - you don't see a hot chick in the street & think "ooh I'd like to make her happy". If someone you want to be with is already with someone else, then you may feel you have a moral restriction not to go after them - but if they come after you the only interests you have to look out for are your own. The third party has no obligation or commitment to anyone to not date other people.

On the other hand, the person who's cheating on his partner to be with you is, obviously, someone who would cheat on his partner given the opportunity. If the opportunity is simply for more sex then you probably won't want him/her any more than his/her partner will when s/he finds out.

More profoundly, imagine you're a guy with a partner. You tell a chick that you have a partenr but she still wants to sleep with you. She therefore is ready to accept a guy who would cheat on his partner. I personally would not be able to respect someone who would be willing to accept a guy who she knows cheats (provided of course that she herself is opposed to cheating). So even though the third party is technically not in the wrong, the cheater himself could object to the third party because of his/her tolerance of cheating.

The flipside is of course when the cheating is done because you honestly believe you've found someone who is much better for you than your current partner. In this case you still have an obligation to let your partner know as soon as possible - i.e, the next time you see him/her, but I would contend that at least you could still claim moral integrity, although you should still resent having to hurt your current partner.

I've missed some things but never mind.
 
freako104

freako104

Well-Known Member
its not perverted since your somewhat close in age. your in your 20s and shes 19 so its allright. and reading the cheaters thread, noone actually said your a jerk mate ;)
 
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RD_151

New Member
a13,

I'm confused :D But I think in principle, I agree with you, mostly (on cheating anyway).

I don't think it's so pervy though. We aren't talking about a child. 19 is an adult, no matter how you define it. As PT implied, even if he were 50 most people idolize him. They market everything in the world to us with little models who are or look 19, so why should we be surprised if someone a few year to many years older is still interested in her? Blame society if you want, but it seem reasonable to me. Besides, even most 50-70 year old men would be proud to take his new 19 year old gf to a formal event :D Why not, assuming she isn't blond or something.
 
never2muchRAM

never2muchRAM

New Member
LOL :laugh: you guys are killin' me with your comments.

nope, not blonde.
light brown hair, caramel skin, intense brown eyes. i think its the eyes that got me. it just seems like there is a lot going on behind those eyes. um, yeah... it's the eyes... had nothing to do with that bangin body... i swear... it's the eyes :D
i'm only 27 so i guess i shouldnt be too paranoid.

gosh, we havent even been out yet...

i guess i've just kind of been obsessing over the idea of her cuz i met her at the restaraunt a few weeks back and we talked a little and since then she has "happened" to come in a few more times, but she is always with her friends or family or something. last night i finally got a chance to say 2 words to her with nobody else around, and there was no way i was going to miss that opportunity to get her number. :cool:

i was only half kiddin about the jerk stuff, anyway.

RD_151 said:
They market everything in the world to us with little models who are or look 19, so why should we be surprised if someone a few year to many years older is still interested in her?
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good point
greenfreak said:
I've got a thing for Hawaiian men. :headbng2:
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well hey, maybe if this 19 year old doesn't work out we can give it a whirl :brow: i hear once you go green, there's no need to go 'teen :brow: is that true greenfreak?
 
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greenfreak

New Member
never2muchRAM said:
well hey, maybe if this 19 year old doesn't work out we can give it a whirl :brow: i hear once you go green, there's no need to go 'teen :brow: is that true greenfreak?
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:rofl: That's great! lol

So who did you hear that from? Gato? Or fury, Squiggy, Noite, PT... It could have been any of my men. ;)
 
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greenfreak

New Member
never2muchRAM said:
oh..
so i guess that's been said before.
damn, i thought i was being original...
and maybe even... charming?
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no worries, they probably said it but this is the first time I'm hearing it... tell me more... :brow:
 
chcr

chcr

Too cute for words
If she's over eighteen it's not perverted (well, unless there are farm animals involved and if there are you'd better post pictures) regardless of never2muchRAM's age. Besides, all he mentioned was dating. Last time I dated, there were a couple of more steps before sack time. The woman decides that anyway.

I'm of the opinion that most women decide whether or not they are going to sleep with you before the first date, however. Ladies, any commenets?
 
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