? for the parents
- Thread starter tonksy
- Start date
No. Because I could not deal with the soccer-parent control-freakiness, the ridiculous fundraisers for monies that I know won't be ever doled out logically, the personal agendas. There are far better ways for to volunteer at the school and stay involved with the kidlets without my getting involved in that.
majestyx
New Member
All of my kids are out of school now. But, when they were in school, I wasn't involved in the PTA or much else. Unfortunately, I had to work full-time. When the kids were involved in a school function or in sports I was involved by attending their games and such.
Edit to add: I was involved in their schoolwork.
Edit to add: I was involved in their schoolwork.
We go on school trips (Paul too). When they were younger I picked lice a couple times a year, and I have helped at the library and sold shit at book sales/bake sales. I send stuff for the aforementioned bake sales. We support the boys in joining clubs and taking on duties (Green team, Safety Patrol) (O.M.G. Avery of all kids is on the Safety Patrol) and make sure they get there to complete their duties come hell or high water. I take in extra stuff for the classrooms. I've helped classes make gingerbread houses a few years in a row *twitch*, and help where I can with extra-curricular stuffs. We go watch all the stuff they do (performances and sports) and participate in all the parents-invited stuff the school puts on. I try to go to the assemblies every month.
I help where I can where there is obvious need for help and where I can make a real difference. The why would be because I can (i.e. have some freedom to), and it's the right thing to do.
We also volunteer quite a bit with the Navy League/Sea Cadets the boys are involved in. Again, an obvious need, it's a good thing, and we can, so we do.
I would mean 'me'. We would mean Paul and I.
I help where I can where there is obvious need for help and where I can make a real difference. The why would be because I can (i.e. have some freedom to), and it's the right thing to do.
We also volunteer quite a bit with the Navy League/Sea Cadets the boys are involved in. Again, an obvious need, it's a good thing, and we can, so we do.
I would mean 'me'. We would mean Paul and I.
We don't have that here, at least not in the way you do (from what I read).
One person from every class will volunteer to be the class representative*, which means they attend bi-monthly (I think) meetings with other representatives and the school. They are the spokes person for all parents from that class, so parents can go to them with issues, and they will bring it to the school. They will also be in charge of any savings account the parents agree upon starting on behalf of the class. (To be used on out-of-school social arrangements etc) I've never been "that person" myself.
*This usually means everyone will get very quiet at the parents-teacher meeting when it's time to find a new person, until someone says "Awright, I'll do it" so that everyone can clap their hands and go home.
One person from every class will volunteer to be the class representative*, which means they attend bi-monthly (I think) meetings with other representatives and the school. They are the spokes person for all parents from that class, so parents can go to them with issues, and they will bring it to the school. They will also be in charge of any savings account the parents agree upon starting on behalf of the class. (To be used on out-of-school social arrangements etc) I've never been "that person" myself.
*This usually means everyone will get very quiet at the parents-teacher meeting when it's time to find a new person, until someone says "Awright, I'll do it" so that everyone can clap their hands and go home.
nalani
Well-Known Member
My kids all went to Hawaiian Language Immersion schools were parent participation - fundraising, Hawaiian language classes, help in classroon - was mandatory. We didn't have a PTA but we were all very active in their education based on the belief that education includes family, community, school.
My oldest was in regular public school until grade 7 when he entered the charter school system and because of the reasons Leslie said, I didn't join the PTA but I did volunteer in his classroom twice a week and helped with after school tutoring and preparing excursions and stuff.
Now I'm the head cheer mom, soccer mom and hula mom ... *whew*
My oldest was in regular public school until grade 7 when he entered the charter school system and because of the reasons Leslie said, I didn't join the PTA but I did volunteer in his classroom twice a week and helped with after school tutoring and preparing excursions and stuff.
Now I'm the head cheer mom, soccer mom and hula mom ... *whew*
tonksy
New Member
The reason I ask in that every time I go to some volunteering event I am seeing the same faces over and over again....and I am having a hard time getting the volunteer schedule calendar filled for the class I room mom.
I was wondering if it was a normal thing that 10% of the folks do 90% of the work. Do ya'll find that to be the case?
I was wondering if it was a normal thing that 10% of the folks do 90% of the work. Do ya'll find that to be the case?
That's always the case in everything, everywhere.
In the school setting, it's prolly these -
Most of the parents are probably working so they couldn't anyway. Others have younger ones at home and don't have daycare/can't afford it/don't want to use daycare. Some know that they aren't good in a setting of 30 5 year olds all at once. Some have their lives and can't be bothered cause someone else will do it. Some have their lives and can't commit to a regular thing. And some of all of these people are afraid to start with coming every so often when they could or want to do it, because they know once they say yes the phone calls to come help more/the lady with the clipboard when they drop their kids off won't stop.
What is a room mother? We don't have that, so I'm wondering whose job you're doing for them.
In the school setting, it's prolly these -
Most of the parents are probably working so they couldn't anyway. Others have younger ones at home and don't have daycare/can't afford it/don't want to use daycare. Some know that they aren't good in a setting of 30 5 year olds all at once. Some have their lives and can't be bothered cause someone else will do it. Some have their lives and can't commit to a regular thing. And some of all of these people are afraid to start with coming every so often when they could or want to do it, because they know once they say yes the phone calls to come help more/the lady with the clipboard when they drop their kids off won't stop.
What is a room mother? We don't have that, so I'm wondering whose job you're doing for them.
SouthernN'Proud
Southern Discomfort
We are not active in PTA, boosters, whatever. But we are involved as needed. Last year a meeting was held to discuss the 8th grade trip, and we went. I volunteered to help with an alumni basketball game and for a chili supper, neither of which was ever held.
Yes, it does seem to be the same faces. There are concerned parents who do all they can to help their child's class accomplish things. Then there are nosy busybodies who feel that there is no WAY anything could POSSIBLY be accomplished unless THEY have their hands all over it. It's usually 50/50.
We try to fill in gaps when needed without being overbearing or in the way. So far the kid has missed nothing of import, so we figure it's all good.
Yes, it does seem to be the same faces. There are concerned parents who do all they can to help their child's class accomplish things. Then there are nosy busybodies who feel that there is no WAY anything could POSSIBLY be accomplished unless THEY have their hands all over it. It's usually 50/50.
We try to fill in gaps when needed without being overbearing or in the way. So far the kid has missed nothing of import, so we figure it's all good.
tonksy
New Member
Room Mom coordinates the volunteer schedule within the classroom - story parent, center parent, helper parent etc. They also are the party coordinators and the folks that ensure some form of participation from each class for various school wide activites. If no one in the classroom wants to commit to do a particular thing then the room mom picks up the slack.
I get the impression that a lot of folks schoolwide would like to be involved but are intimidated. I would like to find a way to keep this from being the case but I am not sure how to handle it.
OTOH I notice that lotsa times it's like pulling teeth to get folks involved and I sure wish there was a cure for that too - I don't mean the in class stuff because of course work schedules can be the main issue there. For example, we had a clinic supply drive that fell flat. I don't know why but it seemed to really put folks off to send in some band aids and stuff. Perhaps it is the time of year etc.
Random thoughts:
With all these volunteer demands, definitely intimidating. 3+ positions in the classroom itself? omg. Volunteer for one thing, the calls for more will never end. Noooooooooo way.
Striking a chord with me is the bandaid clinic. After back to school, plus all of the other first of the year gimmes from the school, perhaps some of them just didn't have the extra cheese. It really really sucks wanting to do some of this stuff but just not being able to. It's embarassing too.
So yes, intimidation wise, here's this. Say I'm dirt poor. I'm not anymore, but I've been in this spot. So anyway, say I can't contribute to stuff. I'm not about to get involved in other stuff, cause the requests won't stop, and I'll be forced to admit my poverty again and again and again. When all the other five parents on the committee are donating, and I'm not, I look like a big selfish sack of shit. You get in this spin of feeling like a bad parent and feeling like you're looking like a bad parent, and being talked to and guilted out as if you're a bad parent/committee member. I'm not about to put myself up to go through that 6-30 times a year. No way.
On another note, where does the school not get off providing bandaids of all things? If I had care and control of someone else's kid, how well would it go over if I didn't have the basics to care for them? For things like a ?bandaid drive?, if people don't see the value in it or the reasoning for it, they're not gonna contribute.
And if people think it's the teachers' jobs to teach, not other parents, they're not going to volunteer for that either. Our teachers don't ask for a lot of volunteering. During a field trip, or to read to the slow-to-learners, perhaps, but that's about it, so they get too many volunteer offers, and have to decline some or make a schedule so everyone who wants to can. I've been turned down cause they had too many several times. With many of the trips there's a parent volunteer waiting list.
Maybe the school ought to be looking at this whole room mother/volunteer scenario in itself. Why are so many parents teaching and guiding these kids? Don't think I like that. May as well teach 'em at home in that case.
With all these volunteer demands, definitely intimidating. 3+ positions in the classroom itself? omg. Volunteer for one thing, the calls for more will never end. Noooooooooo way.
Striking a chord with me is the bandaid clinic. After back to school, plus all of the other first of the year gimmes from the school, perhaps some of them just didn't have the extra cheese. It really really sucks wanting to do some of this stuff but just not being able to. It's embarassing too.
So yes, intimidation wise, here's this. Say I'm dirt poor. I'm not anymore, but I've been in this spot. So anyway, say I can't contribute to stuff. I'm not about to get involved in other stuff, cause the requests won't stop, and I'll be forced to admit my poverty again and again and again. When all the other five parents on the committee are donating, and I'm not, I look like a big selfish sack of shit. You get in this spin of feeling like a bad parent and feeling like you're looking like a bad parent, and being talked to and guilted out as if you're a bad parent/committee member. I'm not about to put myself up to go through that 6-30 times a year. No way.
On another note, where does the school not get off providing bandaids of all things? If I had care and control of someone else's kid, how well would it go over if I didn't have the basics to care for them? For things like a ?bandaid drive?, if people don't see the value in it or the reasoning for it, they're not gonna contribute.
And if people think it's the teachers' jobs to teach, not other parents, they're not going to volunteer for that either. Our teachers don't ask for a lot of volunteering. During a field trip, or to read to the slow-to-learners, perhaps, but that's about it, so they get too many volunteer offers, and have to decline some or make a schedule so everyone who wants to can. I've been turned down cause they had too many several times. With many of the trips there's a parent volunteer waiting list.
Maybe the school ought to be looking at this whole room mother/volunteer scenario in itself. Why are so many parents teaching and guiding these kids? Don't think I like that. May as well teach 'em at home in that case.
One suggestion/frustration with me and the asking for money and donations thing is the chronic lack of notice. The school we're in now is bad for this. They'll send a note home Tuesday wanting the 6 weeks of pizza money for 3 kids by Friday, or the kids are boned. When you're organizing things, keep in mind that for many people, the paycheque they just got or are going to get in the next two weeks is already budgeted and gone. If they knew ahead of time, they could perhaps in the next grocery budget squeeze things around to be able send in the stuff/money. People in this situation need two to three weeks notice for this stuff. That may help you get more donations to your whatevers.
tonksy
New Member
I can understand your view on the parents teaching but (at least at this school) the parents don't teach, they just lend a hand in other ways - reading a story for story parent, being a monitor for center parent, and doing clerical cut and paste stuff for helper parent.
I wholeheartedly agree on the hurry up and send money thing, that's really annoying. Good planning would have the parents have at least a week to 2 weeks - especially for larger amounts...and I think this may have been part of the problem with the clinic drive.
About that, the school/county has been under pressure to upgrade (smart boards, computers etc) that a lot of the "frills" have been cut back on. The clinic drive was, apparently, supposed to supplement what was a result of a budget cut.
So, about the making volunteering less intimidating thing, we have these main reasons:
1. Too many people asking for volunteers
2. Too much money to spend
3. No notice
Am I missing anything?
Not really sure what I can do about the first 2 but I can perhaps get word out about number 3. There really isn't any reason why we can't give folks more time about things. Most things are planned far in advance so if there is no date set you at least know of the basic peiod of time within which it will happen.
I wholeheartedly agree on the hurry up and send money thing, that's really annoying. Good planning would have the parents have at least a week to 2 weeks - especially for larger amounts...and I think this may have been part of the problem with the clinic drive.
About that, the school/county has been under pressure to upgrade (smart boards, computers etc) that a lot of the "frills" have been cut back on. The clinic drive was, apparently, supposed to supplement what was a result of a budget cut.
So, about the making volunteering less intimidating thing, we have these main reasons:
1. Too many people asking for volunteers
2. Too much money to spend
3. No notice
Am I missing anything?
Not really sure what I can do about the first 2 but I can perhaps get word out about number 3. There really isn't any reason why we can't give folks more time about things. Most things are planned far in advance so if there is no date set you at least know of the basic peiod of time within which it will happen.
Why else. Um.
Most of these are probably not fixable either.
Many kids don't want the parents there. It's not cool/it's embarassing/they can't act out/they need a break from their parents too.
If you volunteer one day a week at one class, you have to do it for the other one two three kids you have. Add in a field trip here and there, and you could end up there being all the days in a week. I guess that's back to the asking too much thing, but that's a reason. Especially when you have ones at home. We volunteer for the Navy League/Sea Cadets cause it's pretty much the same organization and all of their things are at the same time. Were they seperate and/or were the other kid to join something, we'd probably not do any at all.
Back to the intimidating, it's hard to commit to every single Tuesday and Thursday for whatever period of time for a whole entire school year. Let people volunteer once for one thing and then leave them. As long as they know they can again when they're free, and they won't be harassed, they may be back. And they might tell their parent-friends that it's ok, volunteering was fun after all, and noone bugs you to keep going back.
Not having experience with room mothers, I'm weirded out by the notion. A request to volunteer/means to offer to do so would come to me much better through a teacher or by letter to or from the school than another parent. I'd be much more apt to do that than open myself up to have some other mother looking down on me cause I am not doing enough in their eyes. I'd be running far far away from the room mother.
The LOOK AT ME! I'M A GOOD MOM! NO! I'M A BETTER MOM! minions.
People work. Some of them have to.
Watching Oprah is funner than supervising recess full of primary kids.
Some people send their kids to school as a break for themselves. They aren't about to go back and spend time with them and other people's kids too.
p.s. Health and Welfare is a bad budget cut decision. I wouldn't contribute to a send in bandaids campaign like that. I would contribute to the 'buy wooden chairs for the administrators so that we can cut the ergonomic chairs from the budget instead of taking away from the kids' campaign, though.
Most of these are probably not fixable either.
Many kids don't want the parents there. It's not cool/it's embarassing/they can't act out/they need a break from their parents too.
If you volunteer one day a week at one class, you have to do it for the other one two three kids you have. Add in a field trip here and there, and you could end up there being all the days in a week. I guess that's back to the asking too much thing, but that's a reason. Especially when you have ones at home. We volunteer for the Navy League/Sea Cadets cause it's pretty much the same organization and all of their things are at the same time. Were they seperate and/or were the other kid to join something, we'd probably not do any at all.
Back to the intimidating, it's hard to commit to every single Tuesday and Thursday for whatever period of time for a whole entire school year. Let people volunteer once for one thing and then leave them. As long as they know they can again when they're free, and they won't be harassed, they may be back. And they might tell their parent-friends that it's ok, volunteering was fun after all, and noone bugs you to keep going back.
Not having experience with room mothers, I'm weirded out by the notion. A request to volunteer/means to offer to do so would come to me much better through a teacher or by letter to or from the school than another parent. I'd be much more apt to do that than open myself up to have some other mother looking down on me cause I am not doing enough in their eyes. I'd be running far far away from the room mother.
The LOOK AT ME! I'M A GOOD MOM! NO! I'M A BETTER MOM! minions.
People work. Some of them have to.
Watching Oprah is funner than supervising recess full of primary kids.
Some people send their kids to school as a break for themselves. They aren't about to go back and spend time with them and other people's kids too.
p.s. Health and Welfare is a bad budget cut decision. I wouldn't contribute to a send in bandaids campaign like that. I would contribute to the 'buy wooden chairs for the administrators so that we can cut the ergonomic chairs from the budget instead of taking away from the kids' campaign, though.
tonksy
New Member
Yeah, it's a pretty crazy budget cut but I suppose their logic is that this school is made up of more comfortable neighborhoods so the families can afford such a drive.
But what about the less hands on ways of volunteering? Baking for the bake sale? The bus driver appreciation breakfast?
Is trying to find a way for the non-volunteers to feel like volunteering a pipedream? I don't want to harass folks, I want them to feel welcome.
But what about the less hands on ways of volunteering? Baking for the bake sale? The bus driver appreciation breakfast?
Is trying to find a way for the non-volunteers to feel like volunteering a pipedream? I don't want to harass folks, I want them to feel welcome.
