Gone Fishin'

[A.B.Normal]

One Saturday morning a man gets up early, dresses quietly as to not wake his wife, gets his lunch made, puts on his long johns, grabs the dog and goes to the garage to hook up his boat to the truck and down the driveway he goes.

Coming out of his garage rain is pouring down; it is like a torrential downpour. There is snow mixed in with the rain, and the wind is blowing 50 mph. Minutes later, he returns to the garage. He comes back
into the house and turns the TV to the weather channel. He finds it's going to be bad weather all day long, so he puts his boat back in the garage, quietly undresses and slips back into bed.

There he cuddles up to his wife's back, now with a different
anticipation, and whispers, "The weather out there is terrible."
To which she sleepily replies, "Can you believe my stupid husband is
out fishing in that sh!t?"

 

[CheeseRocket]

Oh... I get it.

 

[tommyj27]

hehe, way to lighten things up a bit AB.


A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone
inside dies. They then get to meet their maker, and because of the grief
they have experienced; he decides to grant them one wish each, before they
enter Paradise.

They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I want
to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.
The second one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous too."
Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted. This goes on for a
while but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in line starts
laughing. When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the
floor laughing.

Finally, God reaches this guy and asks him what his wish will be.

The guy calms down and says:" Make 'em all ugly again."

 

[tommyj27]

got another, my Dad is usually good for about 5 emails a day. i wonder if they pay him to read his email all day.

After a little while, a small group of runners, who had been studying him
with some curiosity, jogged closer. "Do you always run in the nude?" one
asked.

"Oh yes!" he replied, gasping for air. "It feels so wonderfully free!"

Another runner moved alongside. "Do you always run carrying your clothes
with you under your arm?"

"Oh, yes" our friend answered breathlessly. "That way I can get dressed
right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!"

Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and queried. "Do you
always wear a condom when you run?"

"Nope.........just when it's raining."