He's dead, Jim

[karlwb]

Every now and again I wake up from a nightmare - the peripheral components of the dream are different, but the main theme is the same - that I've killed someone.....

And more often than not, after I have woken up, it takes me ages to actually convince myself that I didn't really kill anyone and that it was all a dream.

Scares the hell out of me

Nearly as bad as the sleep paralysis I get, and the last time I had that I was in for another effect - paralysis and the feeling of levitation at the same time

Karl

 

[Luis G]

I've had dreams like those, but it isn't often. I know what you mean about convincing yourself that it DIDN'T happen.

 

[paul_valaru]

Drug the intended victim, rent a no tell motel room (they kind the doors face outside) with a jacuzzi tub paying cash, no ID. Walk the woozy really stoned person into the room. Put them in the empty tub, ice pick too the upper spine (instant death, minimum of blood) go to trunk, get LCBO (Liquor store) bags out of trunk the ones filled with bottles of strong acid. Fill tub with acid let body dissolve (yes it will take a few days, rent motel for a week) soon all that is left is the body fats, pour in degreaser, clean tub, air out room check out of motel, and go on with my life.

or have a mountain climbing accident.

 

[Leslie]

Wearing gloves, light a half-smoke the victim has previously butted out, as you would a candle.

Put it in the bed with the sleeping victim. Go outside.

Done.

 

[paul_valaru]

Wearing gloves, light a half-smoke the victim has previously butted out, as you would a candle.

Put it in the bed with the sleeping victim. Go outside.

Done.

I'm scared

 

[Professur]

I'd say it's time to quit, Paul.

 

[paul_valaru]

I'd say it's time to quit, Paul.

Hmmmm, Quitting smoking can save my life in 2 ways? I might have to do it.

And only post about it after I have quit

 

[BeardofPants]

Drug the intended victim, rent a no tell motel room (they kind the doors face outside) with a jacuzzi tub paying cash, no ID. Walk the woozy really stoned person into the room. Put them in the empty tub, ice pick too the upper spine (instant death, minimum of blood) go to trunk, get LCBO (Liquor store) bags out of trunk the ones filled with bottles of strong acid. Fill tub with acid let body dissolve (yes it will take a few days, rent motel for a week) soon all that is left is the body fats, pour in degreaser, clean tub, air out room check out of motel, and go on with my life.

or have a mountain climbing accident.

It's been done. Well, maybe not the acid bath jacuzzi, but certainly the acid bath bit. Ye hafta make sure them dastardly teef dissolve, or yer screwed.

 

[paul_valaru]

It's been done. Well, maybe not the acid bath jacuzzi, but certainly the acid bath bit. Ye hafta make sure them dastardly teef dissolve, or yer screwed.

chuck em out in a McDonalds garbage can

 

[SouthernN'Proud]

Actually, I've got a solid plan myself ... and noone's come close to it yet.

Yer gonna duct tape him to a mattress and force him to listen to Celine Dion, Loverboy, Ann Murray, and AllAnus Morrisette, as well as other Canadian musical icons, until he kills himself or bleeds to death out his ears, aincha?

Dayum, I KNEW that'd work...

 

[Professur]

Shhhh. Damnit.



Not even close.

 

[Gato_Solo]

wrap the body in a 463L pallet cover, put into trunk, and drive to my favorite shark-fishing area. Slice into the body so that the blood can seep out, wrap the body in chains, and dump into the deep water at low tide. Then you just drive home, place all your clothing and the murder weapon inside the pallet cover, and place the whole shebang in the incinerator at work. 1600 F will take care of the rest.

 

[SouthernN'Proud]

Put him in a tshirt that says "Rosie O'Donnell for President" and drop him off around these parts. The rest will take care of itself. Or Oprah. Or Ellen. Or Hillary. Or Gulianni for that matter.

 

[tonksy]

Buy him an ultimate satellite package and hi-speed internet, cook him 3 meals a day high in sodium and fat and sugar, give him nothing but beer and milkshakes to drink, and hire a lawn crew.....that should do it in about 6-9 months with no jail time.

 

[Luis G]

you gotta give him a blowjob once in a while too, to keep him happy

 

[tonksy]

Oh! Did I forget the vigorous sex once every 2 weeks? You gotta shock the old ticker from time to time to get it to give out.

 

[Professur]

Rob???? Rob????? You still with us, old man? Rob??? Talk to me Rob. ROB!!!!!!!!!

 

[tonksy]

Mwahahahahaha!

 

[Aunty Em]

Mwahahahahaha!

Ur evil!


















I like it!

 

[unclehobart]

Whoa! What Ultimate Satellite Package?! I've been missing the world championships of sand castle building on channel 453! Someone hand me the remote. These chest pains wont let me move too much.