History

Gonz

molṑn labé
Staff member
A worthwhile e-mail

For those that don't know about history ... Here is a condensed version:

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1 . Liberals
2. Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement...

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. They became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.


Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass for obvious reasons.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, community organizers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer, mostly Bud or Miller. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, engineers, corporate executives, athletes, members of the military, airline pilots and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America . They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history:

It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it.

A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers and to more liberals just to piss them off.


And there you have it. Let your next action reveal your true self.....I'm going to have another beer
 

2minkey

bootlicker
hmm. at some point it seems that history reversed itself. because all i hear from so-called conservatives these days is a bunch of whining about obama, immigrants, political correctness, fags, et cetera... y'all are the loudest victims i ever heard and make al sharpton look clint eastwood.
 

ResearchMonkey

Well-Known Member
Al Sharpton instigates, invents and depends on racism for a living.
Clint Eastwood spends his own money making movies about the sillyness of political correctness.

I hope that helps.


lettersfromiwojiman.jpg
 

Winky

Well-Known Member
Forever remaining in poverty
pimp daddies, crack whores
and rap Music.
Oh Let’s not forget, a consistent record of
voting for Democrats > 98% of the time?
 

ResearchMonkey

Well-Known Member
i'm guessing that more than 2% who do vote, will vote more conservatively this november.

i know a number of colored folks who are conservative.
 

jimpeel

Well-Known Member
There is no evidence whatsoever that Africans ever developed even the simplest machines -- even the wheel.

Louis Farrakhan claims that Africans invented aircraft and that they could fly. He also claims that the White man came and destroyed all traces of African technology so that not even the most minuscule item can be found. That is why there is no proof of African technology. The evil White men destroyed it all so Africans would appear stupid.
 

2minkey

bootlicker
wow. this thread sure is the pride of OTC. lemme know when you chimps are done high-fiving each others' asses.
 

ResearchMonkey

Well-Known Member
wow. this thread sure is the pride of OTC. lemme know when you chimps are done high-fiving each others' asses.
the real tragedy of the situation is the damage obama has done to the issues of race in the United States.

Obama has done nothing to better relations, he in fact has stood by and watched them get worse when he has had ample opportunity to speak out. I suspect he has been using race issues to promote his ideologies using the division.

It is unfortunate that Obamas failures will reflect on people, who happen to be black, making it difficult for them to gain higher office by election.
 

Winky

Well-Known Member
Revised History

Lieutenant Colonel Allen B. West ain't no Negro.
He's an American patriot with a tan!
He should be in the White House.
 

Winky

Well-Known Member
Know Your History

Reagan said: "Society has always regarded marital love
as a sacred expression of the bond between a man and a woman.
It is the means by which families are created and society itself
is extended into the future.

We will resist the efforts of some to obtain government endorsement of homosexuality."
 

chcr

Too cute for words
It is nice to know that anytime I might start to believe that the teabaggers don't have their roots firmly entrenched in racist bullshit, all I have to do is visit good old OTC.

Reagan said: "Society has always regarded marital love
as a sacred expression of the bond between a man and a woman.

Only problem with that is that it hasn't.
 

ResearchMonkey

Well-Known Member
It is nice to know that anytime I might start to believe that the teabaggers don't have their roots firmly entrenched in racist bullshit, all I have to do is visit good old OTC.

Yeah, the Teaparty has nothing to do with policy, it's all about the nigger. :/



Only problem with that is that it hasn't.

Thanks to progressive thinking where people aren't accountable for their action, its all knee jerk feel good instant gratification.

There was a time where people once lived by their choices. My how much we have progressed since then
 

Winky

Well-Known Member
oh it hasn't? Did you join nambla while you were away?

I missed the part of sex ed were one guy rammin' his peeny
up another guys pooper produced a child

help a brotha out here homey G
 
Top