Altron
Well-Known Member
The guy who suggested it told me that she's a closet freak and that she would appreciate it.
Another guy told me that if I like her at all, not to say it.
So I did what I always do, nothing.
The thing that I was worried about, tho, was when I was discussing hermaphrodites with my friend, and he was like
"Would you let a chick with a dick do you in the ass?"
"No"
"Not even ____ if she had a dick?"
"Well, is she just curious about it, or does she really want?"
"She wants to, and she's asking you every day."
"Well, of course I'd let her if she really wanted to, although I would prefer if she was missing that anatomy"
Now like half the store thinks I'm gay, or at least bi-curious. It also didn't help that I had mentioned a few times that this 300 lb 6'8 black guy who works in the warehouse was probably "hung like a giraffe" or that the more perceptive people have noticed that back when the new girl started in October, I could have gotten her in bed with almost no effort on my part, and I didn't.
Or that a few months back, the roadshop installers pretended to be gay in order to scare me, but it turned into an inside joke between me and a few of them, which then turned into a joke between me and the entire Roadshop, which then included several people from all over the store. I know that you guys will laugh at me for this, but there's a group of 20 or so heterosexual men at my store that flirt with each other, mostly because of me. Once *she* joked to me that it was depressing that I got more attention from the men in the store than she did.
I explained to *her* that the two things that never cease to be amusing are jokes about flatulence and homosexuality, and I'm secure enough in my masculinity to be able to joke about the latter.
I guess it also doesn't help that when people ask me what kinda music I like, I say "gay hippie music", even though it's true. Seriously, though, I listen to a lot of gayish glam rock, a lot of 80s and 90s pop music, and a lot of female singer-songwriter types. Stuff like Elton John or Dido or Air Supply. Certainly not masculine. And I sing along to all of it.
Or that I don't oogle every halfway decent looking woman that I see, or that I don't want to go to the tittie bar, or that I cried when the chick dies in Braveheart.
Or that I dress differently than everyone else. I don't own a pair of sneakers or jeans. On the chance occasion I'm not wearing dress slacks, I have goofy Old Navy nylon cargo pants. Almost always have a button down collared shirt on, and a decent canvas or leather jacket. I don't own a pair of jeans, and I only own one sweatshirt (two once my Stevens one comes in the mail) and it's not something I can wear in public (inherited with a lot of sentimental value, the thing is torn to hell and most people would have trashed it 15 years ago. Good thing I'm not most people)
Or maybe my hair. I guess it looks normal to you folks, but nearly everyone in my 16-25 age demographic has very short hair that is spiked up, not the semi-longish classy hair that I have. I also actually know how to use a razor, so I don't have the far-too-common patchy sideburns of my colleagues.
Whatever it is that I do, tho, chixdiggit. I have a completely unjustified reputation of being either a complete pimp ladies' man or an almost-out-of-the-closet homosexual, or both, depending on who you ask.
I'll probably take some heat from you folks, but I'm comfortable with myself, so it doesn't matter all that much what others think.
Also, I'm a very open person, so that's why I write all this long winded shit. I don't have that many people who I can really talk to, and it feels good for me to tell internet people all about me. It doesn't matter if anyone reads this, it just matters that I put it out there. It gets my emotions off my back, keeps me sane.
I'm also... word slipping my mind right now... someone who likes to ponder things. I can sit in one spot for hours on end, just thinking about things. The end result of these deep periods of self reflection is the realization that I don't know anything. I enjoy spending time with people. I don't even have to be doing anything with them. If I'm sitting there reading a book, and one of my parents comes in the room and sits across from me and picks up a different book, I'm happier, even if I have no interaction with them. I don't even know what I like about *her*, except that when she's in the same room as me, everything is better, and when she's not, everything is worse.
don't even take this shit seriously... i'm incoherent... i'm doing my pondering thing right now, which, on average, i would say I spend 3-4 hours a day doing, mostly during school or while falling asleep. This is kinda a sample of things I think about, except that I'm trying to keep this more focused. I think about things I've done, people I've known, things I want to do, how I feel about things, all that rot. take this as a continuation of that huge 15 page monstrosity that nobody except bish read.
Another guy told me that if I like her at all, not to say it.
So I did what I always do, nothing.
The thing that I was worried about, tho, was when I was discussing hermaphrodites with my friend, and he was like
"Would you let a chick with a dick do you in the ass?"
"No"
"Not even ____ if she had a dick?"
"Well, is she just curious about it, or does she really want?"
"She wants to, and she's asking you every day."
"Well, of course I'd let her if she really wanted to, although I would prefer if she was missing that anatomy"
Now like half the store thinks I'm gay, or at least bi-curious. It also didn't help that I had mentioned a few times that this 300 lb 6'8 black guy who works in the warehouse was probably "hung like a giraffe" or that the more perceptive people have noticed that back when the new girl started in October, I could have gotten her in bed with almost no effort on my part, and I didn't.
Or that a few months back, the roadshop installers pretended to be gay in order to scare me, but it turned into an inside joke between me and a few of them, which then turned into a joke between me and the entire Roadshop, which then included several people from all over the store. I know that you guys will laugh at me for this, but there's a group of 20 or so heterosexual men at my store that flirt with each other, mostly because of me. Once *she* joked to me that it was depressing that I got more attention from the men in the store than she did.
I explained to *her* that the two things that never cease to be amusing are jokes about flatulence and homosexuality, and I'm secure enough in my masculinity to be able to joke about the latter.
I guess it also doesn't help that when people ask me what kinda music I like, I say "gay hippie music", even though it's true. Seriously, though, I listen to a lot of gayish glam rock, a lot of 80s and 90s pop music, and a lot of female singer-songwriter types. Stuff like Elton John or Dido or Air Supply. Certainly not masculine. And I sing along to all of it.
Or that I don't oogle every halfway decent looking woman that I see, or that I don't want to go to the tittie bar, or that I cried when the chick dies in Braveheart.
Or that I dress differently than everyone else. I don't own a pair of sneakers or jeans. On the chance occasion I'm not wearing dress slacks, I have goofy Old Navy nylon cargo pants. Almost always have a button down collared shirt on, and a decent canvas or leather jacket. I don't own a pair of jeans, and I only own one sweatshirt (two once my Stevens one comes in the mail) and it's not something I can wear in public (inherited with a lot of sentimental value, the thing is torn to hell and most people would have trashed it 15 years ago. Good thing I'm not most people)
Or maybe my hair. I guess it looks normal to you folks, but nearly everyone in my 16-25 age demographic has very short hair that is spiked up, not the semi-longish classy hair that I have. I also actually know how to use a razor, so I don't have the far-too-common patchy sideburns of my colleagues.
Whatever it is that I do, tho, chixdiggit. I have a completely unjustified reputation of being either a complete pimp ladies' man or an almost-out-of-the-closet homosexual, or both, depending on who you ask.
I'll probably take some heat from you folks, but I'm comfortable with myself, so it doesn't matter all that much what others think.
Also, I'm a very open person, so that's why I write all this long winded shit. I don't have that many people who I can really talk to, and it feels good for me to tell internet people all about me. It doesn't matter if anyone reads this, it just matters that I put it out there. It gets my emotions off my back, keeps me sane.
I'm also... word slipping my mind right now... someone who likes to ponder things. I can sit in one spot for hours on end, just thinking about things. The end result of these deep periods of self reflection is the realization that I don't know anything. I enjoy spending time with people. I don't even have to be doing anything with them. If I'm sitting there reading a book, and one of my parents comes in the room and sits across from me and picks up a different book, I'm happier, even if I have no interaction with them. I don't even know what I like about *her*, except that when she's in the same room as me, everything is better, and when she's not, everything is worse.
don't even take this shit seriously... i'm incoherent... i'm doing my pondering thing right now, which, on average, i would say I spend 3-4 hours a day doing, mostly during school or while falling asleep. This is kinda a sample of things I think about, except that I'm trying to keep this more focused. I think about things I've done, people I've known, things I want to do, how I feel about things, all that rot. take this as a continuation of that huge 15 page monstrosity that nobody except bish read.
