How to handle this situation

If it's the semantics that are making people think one thing and that's the wrong thing entirely, then yes, I will argue. I will say "that's not what I meant" and "sorry I guess this was my mistake" and "this is what I meant, said another way".

What concerns me the most is that because I made a mistake and didn't choose my words with enough care, everyone got it in their minds that I could potentially be a cheater. And now, no matter how much I try to say, "No, I'm sorry I miscommunicated, please try to understand that this is what I meant," people obviously think I'm just trying to backpedal, to retract my statement, that I realized I said something out loud I meant to keep to myself and am now trying to cover my ass. Well that's just not the case. I'm not trying to retract what I said; I just want people to understand that I just didn't pick the right words to convey my meaning the first time, and that when I say, "I do not want to be a cheater," this is what I meant all along. I just apparently didn't make it clear enough.

And the issue that I was trying to get help with is not whether or not I should cheat on my wife. I am not the slightest bit conflicted on that issue. If everyone told me that I should do that, I still wouldn't do it. That simply is not the issue. The only real problem I had was how to go about making sure this girl knows that, in such a way that it wouldn't make things weird if all she was trying to do was make friends. That, and I was slightly unsure if it was worth mentioning at all to my wife. I always suspected I should and would, but since it wasn't possible for me to mention it to her at the time, I decided to throw that in there to see if anyone had any compelling reason not to.

My questions were answered some time ago when some people advised casually referring to my wife and/or kids in my conversation with this girl. To those people who actually helped me out on what I asked, I thank you. Everything else in this thread is just a bunch of fucking bullshit and anyone who still can't understand that can get stuffed.
 
paul_valaru said:
But you had Don't in front of really, hence changing the meaning.

"I really don't" is different from "I don't really"

beyond semantics, have you understood the general point of view, or is this thread destined to be a grammar arguement?
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Sorry, I missed this reply earlier...I understood the general point of view from those who actually replied to my questions. I understood the general consensus to be that I should just casually mention something in reference to my family, worked in to the conversation naturally. Thanks! :)
 
JJR512 said:
What concerns me the most is that because I made a mistake and didn't choose my words with enough care, everyone got it in their minds that I could potentially be a cheater. And now, no matter how much I try to say, "No, I'm sorry I miscommunicated, please try to understand that this is what I meant," people obviously think I'm just trying to backpedal, to retract my statement, that I realized I said something out loud I meant to keep to myself and am now trying to cover my ass. Well that's just not the case. I'm not trying to retract what I said; I just want people to understand that I just didn't pick the right words to convey my meaning the first time, and that when I say, "I do not want to be a cheater," this is what I meant all along. I just apparently didn't make it clear enough.
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Allow me to let you in on a little secret here. If your wife starts to suspect you're cheating, chances are you're tried and convicted before she even lets you know of the suspicion. Once you're tried and convicted, no amount of appeals will fix it. True, not all women are like that, and I'm quite sure you would try to convince me Dawn is not like that either. Having never met her, I would have no basis to disagree. But what are you willing to bet on that? As I've mentioned before, for the last few years, women everywhere seem to have become obsessed with men cheating. Having had my MSN logs inspected without my knowledge while I was at work, I have a little bit of personal experience on thsi issue.

As for your little jab at me and my job earlier, writers in the print media industry certainly do have to consider word choice very carefully. Print media does not have the luxury of tone of voice either, and libel suits are filed and won over what can be read into a quote on a regular basis. Try telling a jury that the words are correct in their dictionary definitions when thousands or millions of dollars are at stake.
 
If you feel it was a jab, then fine, take it that way. But I was and am sincere in my desire to learn, and to take those classes. True, I'm required to take those classes, but I'm glad I have to take them; I really do feel that I have a lot to learn when it comes to communicating. (Try not to agree to vehemously! :D)

As for how Dawn would be, no, I'm not gonig to try to convince you that she wouldn't be that way. I suspect that you are partially correct (in that she would be quick to make assumptions and judgements) and partially not (in what she might actually do about it). And I'm not willing to bet anything to find out if I'm right.

(You should have seen her when she found out I had created a MySpace page. Her problem wasn't that I had created a MySpace page; her problem was that it listed me as being single. I tried to explain that all I did was create an account, and when one creates an account at MySpace, it only asks you for a few basic details, such as name, email address, and birthdate; it doesn't ask you your marital status. I guess the default is "single". I tried to explain that I only created the account, but I never went back in to set up all my personal details, add pictures, and that sort of stuff. I further explained that I haven't even given out my MySpace address to anyone, which is still true to this day, and to this day I've never gone back to my MySpace account to set up all those details.)
 
awww, so there's no point of me trying to find/add you on myspace? :(

i don't think you would cheat, because though your don't always use the best judgement in all areas of your life, you have gotten so much better at making good decisions, and i know your family is very important to you. so i didn't feel weird reading this thread, as others have suggested.
the thing that worries me is just that dawn would flip out and make assumptions, and that like inky said, you'd be tried and convicted before you even knew there was a problem. i know dawn, but obviously don't know her like you do... do you think she'd do that?
 
JJR512 said:
Well...I don't think that "really" means its opposite in current common usage. I maintain that the problem is that in printed communications you can't see expressions and gestures and you can't hear tone of voice. I sort of comprehend how that sentece could have been misinterpreted, especially when someone reads tone or expression in it that I wouldn't have had in face-to-face talk. I have no control over that, and it's no secret that I'm very bad at realizing ahead of time how I'm going to be interpreted later.
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You could be right. When I read the phrase in the original post I thought you meant what you say you meant, but things you said after made me wonder.

JJR512 said:
As I'm sitting here typing this reply in the Quick Reply box, I keep seeing your avatar, chcr, out of the corner of my eye. And I feel just like that guy.
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I am that guy more often than not.
 
once i had a science test and the extra credit question, which was worth like 15 points, was "name the 7 dwarves"
i was kind of pissed. but i did ace the test with 115%.
 
ash r said:
once i had a science test and the extra credit question, which was worth like 15 points, was "name the 7 dwarves"
i was kind of pissed. but i did ace the test with 115%.
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More reasons to homeschool
 
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