How To Impress A Woman..

Oz said:
Scary beer pls :)

(I've had enough scary womem for one lifetime)
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Teehee babe, somehow I think if a scary woman showed up bearing scary beers you'd not have much say in which one of the two you'd prefer :D
 
AlphaTroll said:
Teehee babe, somehow I think if a scary woman showed up bearing scary beers you'd not have much say in which one of the two you'd prefer :D
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I'd drink the beers first.........
 
AlphaTroll said:
I'd take the scary beer - your mates won't give you shit forever if you confess to drinking an 'iffy' beer - might even make you hero for a day for having the guts to try it. But just mention, even in passing, that you've laid a scary chick and you'll have crap jokes thrown at you for life :rolleyes:
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You would think that wouldn't you... but my friends caught me drinking a Carlings Black Label back in 87 and I've yet to hear the end of it. My firends don't rag each other over their scary women... after all.. they all have skeletons in their closet. Its a matter of 'why complain about the splinter in your friends eye when you cannot see the log in your own?' It would end up being something like:
Them: Duuude... what is up with that scary piece I saw you with last night?
Me: Hey... it was only for one night. Yours ended up hanging around for FIVE FUCKING YEARS! ...and she stole half of your CDs on the way out the door to boot.
 
Oz said:
I'd drink the beers first.........
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LOL - ye see that would be her plan of course, ah beer, helping ugly people have sex since whenever the hell ugly people discovered that beer is cheaper than cosmetic surgery and will improve their sex lives tenfold.....
 
unclehobart said:
You would think that wouldn't you... but my friends caught me drinking a Carlings Black Label back in 87 and I've yet to hear the end of it. My firends don't rag each other over their scary women... after all.. they all have skeletons in their closet. Its a matter of 'why complain about the splinter in your friends eye when you cannot see the log in your own?' It would end up being something like:
Them: Duuude... what is up with that scary piece I saw you with last night?
Me: Hey... it was only for one night. Yours ended up hanging around for FIVE FUCKING YEARS! ...and she stole half of your CDs on the way out the door to boot.
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LOL! So true, I swear I'm never gonna get married again, I'm just gonna buy a woman I hate a house. Saves time...
 
AlphaTroll said:
LOL - ye see that would be her plan of course, ah beer, helping ugly people have sex since whenever the hell ugly people discovered that beer is cheaper than cosmetic surgery and will improve their sex lives tenfold.....
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Yup :D

[sings]Thank fuck for ugly women
All the boilers, slags and whores
Just so they could get a shag
They invented alcohol [/sings]

Ah...........fond memories of a miss-spent youth :)
 
Gotnolegs said:
LOL! So true, I swear I'm never gonna get married again, I'm just gonna buy a woman I hate a house. Saves time...
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And remember to throw in a car, clothing allowance and half your salary. Do that & I'd agree to NOT marry you in a wink.
 
MizzFizzTheBizz said:
·Love her
·Comfort her
·Cherish her
·Protect her
·Kiss her
·Cuddle her
·Listen to her
·Support her
·Compliment her
·Respect her
·Care for her

How to impress a bloke:

·Show up naked
·Bring beer
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:rofl:
 
I would just have to find a way to combine the beer and the woman - I've seen several good examples already! ;)
 
MrBishop said:
Where you been? You can buy your own woman too :)

and...you can enjoy a woman and drive afterwards :)
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I don't need to buy women, I get those for free.

it's the matinance plan that's fucking expensive
 
paul_valaru said:
I can buy my own beer
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The Lads prayer

Our Beer
Which art in barrels
Hallowed be thy drink
Thy will be drunk
At home as it is in the local
Forgive us this day our daily spillage
As we forgive those that spillest against us
And lead us not into the poncey practise of wine tasting
And deliver us from alco-pops
For mine is the bitter
The ale and the lager
For ever and ever​

Barmen.​
 
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