I thought we grew up at some point

IDLEchild

IDLEchild

Well-Known Member
Job interviews....is there anything more perplexing and absurd about human sociolization than job interviews?

You sit there, your interviewer sits there...you both know the truth, you both know that you are completely pretending to be something you're not, you both know how resumes are B.S to high heaven to get attention, you both know the responses you'll give are complete and utter, baseless lies wrapped in ficiticious smiles....


you both sit there knowing full well what people do to get to and at job interviews and yet......both of you go on with the lie like it completely doesn't exist....like you don't even have any recollection of the farce swimming around you.

We all give the most cliche, retarded answers and the interviewer pretends like this is the first time he/she has ever heard this nonsense.

I don't get it, I really don't. The whole enigma of job interviews puzzle me. Why can't people just admit to each other the horrendous lies going on and give job interviews like normal humans....you know, the ones who don't smile till their face hurts.

I sit there watching job interviews or giving them and an amazed at how incredibly foolish this behavior is yet it is so acceptable like nothing about it is wrong or moronic. We shake hands, say goodbyes and leave...how fast that smiles falls off the face and we start recounting word for word the answers we gave like trained monkeys....incredible.

I don't get it....I really don't.
 
face to face interviews are about compatibility. Not simply a sheer measure of talent. We are a social species. People want to know if you can do the standard song and dance.
 
IDLEchild said:
Job interviews....is there anything more perplexing and absurd about human sociolization than job interviews?

You sit there, your interviewer sits there...you both know the truth, you both know that you are completely pretending to be something you're not, you both know how resumes are B.S to high heaven to get attention, you both know the responses you'll give are complete and utter, baseless lies wrapped in ficiticious smiles....


you both sit there knowing full well what people do to get to and at job interviews and yet......both of you go on with the lie like it completely doesn't exist....like you don't even have any recollection of the farce swimming around you.

We all give the most cliche, retarded answers and the interviewer pretends like this is the first time he/she has ever heard this nonsense.

I don't get it, I really don't. The whole enigma of job interviews puzzle me. Why can't people just admit to each other the horrendous lies going on and give job interviews like normal humans....you know, the ones who don't smile till their face hurts.

I sit there watching job interviews or giving them and an amazed at how incredibly foolish this behavior is yet it is so acceptable like nothing about it is wrong or moronic. We shake hands, say goodbyes and leave...how fast that smiles falls off the face and we start recounting word for word the answers we gave like trained monkeys....incredible.

I don't get it....I really don't.
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The EEOC makes 'em act stupid. So does OSHA. And any number of other governmental acronym agencies.

In the old days, before mny time, it was closer to...

Can ya do the job?
Yep.
Get to work.

(finding out he couln't do the job resulted in...
Don't come back.

Now the losers have lawyers. And government.
 
My last interview was fun. We got along so well - I never embelished a single thing. We were like... old friends. It was awesome.

I found out later that they had done 20 interviews for that job and had HR start the paperwork to send me an offer as soon as I left :D
 
Some may find it strange. I guess now days, but I've never even remotely
lied on any job app.
Of coarse I pretty much already had every job I ever applied for before I
ever set foot in the door. I've always had people of stature that would put a word in for me.
In the old days, before mny time, it was closer to...

Can ya do the job?
Yep.
Get to work.
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The way Gonz described it is just the way it happened for me most of the time.
The paperwork was a mere formality.
 
Leslie said:
There was your mistake right there.
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The problem is that the job interview was in a place filled with mature educated people...I didn't expect this mockery of a job interview.

I gave honest answers, didn't suck up to them. I know I could do the job better than any of them but I wasn't going to open up my ass and speak fluent douchebag for them to understand that anyone can do that damn job.

I was articulate, smiled, made eye contact, didn't stutter or used the words "umm", "like" etc etc...and to what avail?...none.

Turns out that my answers were "out of the oridinary"...truth is fucking out of the ordinary? Mind you, I wasn't blunt...but I wasn't some overly zealous ass kisser either.

The rest breezed through giving the same damn, practiced answers. I thought on my feet....can't practice life.
 
I interviewed for a part time pharmacy tech job almost 6 years ago while I was in high school. Now I'm in a totally different position at a different store and full time. Interview doesn't really apply anymore.
 
You wouldn't be happy in a place which wanted you to be a mindless drone anyway. When you find the place that likes your "out of the ordinary" answers, that's where you wanna be.
 
So IDLE what was the job?

Will you have to change your screen name if your no longer 'Idle'?
 
Winky said:
So IDLE what was the job?

Will you have to change your screen name if your no longer 'Idle'?
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Menial office job with some cool perks. Now that I think about it maybe I didn't really want it. Leslie maybe right.

I am not the one to smile and say hi to every new face I meet. I am polite but I don't go out of my way to make everyone feel welcomed....thats what they need.

My point isn't even really concerning my sour job interview....just the absurdity of job interview these days.

Office work is work anyone with 3 brain cells can do....these people treat it like it is a holy grail of beaurocratic processes.

IBM looking for a new software engineer to work on an important project...I understand the interview formalities.

Someone looking for someone to push papers around.....get a fucking clue.
 
IDLEchild said:
Office work is work anyone with 3 brain cells can do....these people treat it like it is a holy grail of beaurocratic processes.
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While I'm not siding with these clones, their job is the Holy Grail. They have them & you don't. Bureaucracy is what runs the engine we live in. As putrefying as that thought is. One of many reasons I gave up any semblance of white collar & hopped into a truck. Peope suck. Office politics sucks worse.
 
IC...it's more of an experiment in psychology. How well do you deal with the stresses associated with job interviews will reflect how well you will deal with on the job stresses. If you're in the interview area, that means that they've already looked at your CV and know that you can do the job. They now want to see how you look, your mode of dress, aesthetics, how you sound when you speak etc etc.. having a look-see at the person behind the paper.

The pat Q&A is cover for the real reason that you're there... basically, how would they feel about having 'you' walking around in 'their' office. Are you a psychopath, a slob or a freak?

Everything else is window-dressing.

**

My favorite interview answer is one I just answered differently for the hell of it.
Q - what are your weak points?
A - I'm a complete nutbar.
Q - :alienhuh:
A - I'm weird, but in a good way. I like to look at problems from 'different' viewpoints, I'm too imaginative for my own good, but that helps keep my work fresh. I'm a nutbar.

It got me a smile, it got me an admission that this was the most original answer that he'd ever heard, it got me a second 'off the record' interview downstairs for a cup of coffee, and although I didn't get the job (I was missing flash5)...I still get a head's up from that company when a position opens up.

Not bad for a long-shot answer. :D
 
I don't fluff my resume or my answers at interviews. If I did that, I'd probably land a job I wouldn't like. Bugger that.

To answer the question put to Bish:
I'm lazy. If there's a faster easier way to do something, I'll find it. And I'll make damn sure that I don't need to go back and do it again. (yup, swore during the interview)
 
Professur said:
I don't fluff my resume or my answers at interviews. If I did that, I'd probably land a job I wouldn't like. Bugger that.
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my thought exactly. as has been explained already, an interview is too see if you're a good fit, why waste your time and the interviewer's by pretending to be something you're not.
 
tommyj27 said:
my thought exactly. as has been explained already, an interview is too see if you're a good fit, why waste your time and the interviewer's by pretending to be something you're not.
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Frankly...because everyone else is doing it, and the interviewer assumes that you're doing it as well. If you shoot straight...they'll think that you're less qualified than you really are. Unless you inform them that you don't plan on bullshitting them ahead of time.
 
Here are some Qeustions that you can expect from interviewers.

WARM-UP QUESTIONS
  • What made you apply for this position?
  • How did you hear about this job opening?
  • Briefly, would you summarize your work history & education for me?

WORK HISTORY
  • What special aspects of your work experience have prepared you for this job?
  • Can you describe for me one or two of your most important accomplishments?
  • How much supervision have you typically received in your previous job?
  • Describe for me one or two of the biggest disappointments in your work history?
  • Why are you leaving your present job? (or, Why did you leave your last job?)
  • What is important to you in a company? What things do you look for in an organization?

JOB PERFORMANCE
  • Everyone has strengths & weaknesses as workers. What are your strong points for this job?
  • What would you say are areas needing improvement?
  • How did your supervisor on your most recent job evaluate your job performance? What were some of the good points & bad points of that rating?
  • When you have been told , or discovered for yourself , a problem in your job performance, what have you typically done? Can you give me an example?
  • Do you prefer working alone or in groups?
  • What kind of people do you find it most difficult to work with? Why?
  • Starting with your last job, tell me about any of your achievements that were recognized by your superiors.
  • Can you give me an example of your ability to manage or supervise others?
  • What are some things you would like to avoid in a job? Why?
  • In your previous job what kind of pressures did you encounter?
  • What would you say is the most important thing you are looking for in a job?
  • What are some of the things on your job you feel you have done particularly well or in which you have achieved the greatest success? Why do you feel this way?
  • What were some of the things about your last job that you found most difficult to do?
  • What are some of the problems you encounter in doing your job? Which one frustrates you the most? What do you usually do about it?
  • What are some things you particularly liked about your last job?
  • Do you consider your progress on the job representative of your ability? Why?
  • How do you feel about the way you & others in the department were managed by your supervisor?
  • If I were to ask your present (most recent) employer about your ability as a____________________, what would he/she say?

EDUCATION
  • What special aspects of your education or training have prepared you for this job?
  • What courses in school have been of most help in doing your job?

CAREER- GOALS
  • What is your long-term employment or career objective?
  • What kind of job do you see yourself holding five years from now?
  • What do you feel you need to develop in terms of skill & knowledge in order to be ready for that opportunity?
  • Why might you be successful in such a job?
  • How does this job fit in with your overall career goals?
  • Who or what in your life would you say influenced you most with your career objectives?
  • Can you pinpoint any specific things in your past experience that affected your present career objectives?
  • What would you most like to accomplish if you had this job?
  • What might make you leave this job?

SELF-ASSESSMENT
  • What kind of things do you feel most confident in doing?
  • Can you describe for me a difficult obstacle you have had to overcome? How did you handle it? How do you feel this experience affected your personality or ability?
  • How would you describe yourself as a person?
  • What do you think are the most important characteristics & abilities a person must possess to become a successful ( )? How do you rate yourself in these areas?
  • Do you consider yourself a self-starter? If so, explain why ( and give examples)
  • What do you consider to be your greatest achievements to date? Why?
  • What things give you the greatest satisfaction at work?
  • What things frustrate you the most? How do you usually cope with them?

CREATIVITY
  • In your work experience, what have you done that you consider truly creative?
  • Can you think of a problem you have encountered when the old solutions didn't work & when you came up with new solutions?
  • Of your creative accomplishments big or small , at work or home, what gave you the most satisfaction?
  • What kind of problems have people recently called on you to solve? Tell me what you have devised.

DECISIVENESS
  • Do you consider yourself to be thoughtful, analytical or do you usually make up your mind fast? Give an example. (Watch time taken to respond)
  • What was your most difficult decision in the last six months? What made it difficult?
  • The last time you did not know what decision to make, what did you do?
  • How do you go about making an important decision affecting your career?
  • What was the last major problem that you were confronted with? What action did you take on it?

RANGE OF INTERESTS
  • What organizations do you belong to?
  • Tell me specifically what you do in the civic activities in which you participate. (Leading questions in selected areas. i.e. sports, economics, current events, finance.)
  • How do you keep up with what's going on in your company / your industry/ your profession?

MOTIVATION
  • What is your professional goal?
  • Can you give me examples of experience on the job that you felt were satisfying?
  • Do you have a long & short-term plan for your department? Is it realistic?
  • Did you achieve it last year?
  • Describe how you determine what constitutes top priorities in the performance of your job.

WORK STANDARDS
  • What are your standards of success in your job?
  • In your position, how would you define doing a good job? On what basis was your definition determined?
  • When judging the performance of your subordinate, what factors or characteristics are most important to you?

LEADERSHIP
  • In your present job what approach do you take to get your people together to establish a common approach to a problem?
  • What approach do you take in getting your people to accept your ideas or department goals?
  • What specifically do you do to set an example for your employees?
  • How frequently do you meet with your immediate subordinates as a group?
  • What sort of leader do your people feel you are? Are you satisfied?
  • How do you get people who do not want to work together to establish a common approach to a problem?
  • If you do not have much time & they hold seriously differing views, what would be your approach?
  • How would you describe your basic leadership style? Give specific examples of how you practice this?
  • Do you feel you work more effectively on a one to one basis or in a group situation?
  • Have you ever led a task force or committee or any group who doesn't report to you, but from whom you have to get work? How did you do it? What were the satisfactions & disappointments? How would you handle the job differently?

ORAL PRESENTATION SKILLS
  • Have you ever done any public or group speaking? Recently? Why? How did it go?
  • Have you made any individual presentations recently? How did you prepare?

WRITTEN COMMUNICATION SKILLS
  • Would you rather write a report or give a verbal report? Why?
  • What kind of writing have you done? For a group? For an individual?
  • What is the extent of your participation in major reports that have to be written?

FLEXIBILITY
  • What was the most important idea or suggestion you received recently from your employees? What happened as a result?
  • What do you think about the continuous changes in company operating policies & procedures?
  • How effective has your company been in adapting its policies to fit a changing environment?
  • What was the most significant change made in your company in the last six months which directly affected you, & how successfully do you think you implemented this change?

STRESS TOLERANCE
  • Do you feel pressure in your job? Tell me about it.
  • What has been the highest pressure situation you have been under in recent years? How did you cope with it?

STABILITY & MATURITY
  • Describe your most significant success & failure in the last two years.
  • What do you like to do best?
  • What do you like to do least?
  • What in your last review did your supervisor suggest needed improvement?
  • What have you done about it?

INTEREST IN SELF DEVELOPMENT
  • What has been the most important person or event in your own self development?
  • How much of your education did you earn?
  • What kind of books & other publications do you read?
  • Have you taken a management development course?
  • How are you helping your subordinates develop themselves?
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You can expect between 10-20 questions shot your way in the traditional interview. The more they like you, the more questions you get to answer. If they don't like your vibe...you get 3-4 questions and the bum's rush out with a quick 'We'll call you" and maybe a PFO (Please Fuck Off) letter afterwards, if they're feeling generous.

My best interviews have lasted 45-90 minutes.

My favorite was the one I never took...One controller talked to another, the 2nd asked me if I wanted extra shifts, I said yes...he said "Ok...go to Hotel X tomorrow night for your first shift". :D
 
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