I'm Engaged

Professur said:
Now that's not fair. Acutally, I'm sure that Ash is going to do well (once she grows out of the habit of writing on herself). After all, she's hung around with all of us for years. I'm sure she could have guessed everyone's reaction, individually. And since she's seen the total bollux some people's relationships have turned into, compared to the paradise others have built, I'm certain she's gonna travel right path. After all, she's got the benefit of how many people's experience?

Good luck, Ash
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A big DITTO to that.

Ash, congratulations! I'm glad you're waiting a while, because I believe too that you need to know who you are in order to keep a vow to spend the rest of your life with another. And the same goes for them; your 20's still produce a ton of personality changes and "situation" changes; your career, where you're going to live, etc.

So I don't think we've heard about your fiance before (isn't it great calling him that?) so we need more info, preferably with photos of the two of you. :D
 
aww, thanks people. especially prof, wow, you kind of surprised me there! lol
greenie, dont have many pictures of us, cos he's not a fan of having his picture taken :( but i'll try to get some soon :)

yeah, we'd like to have the big things like getting our own place and having carreers and a good chunk of money saved up before we take the big step.
 
Others will disagree with me on this but I firmly believe that living with someone for at least a year before you get married is essential. That's just another step of ensuring you're compatible, you can compromise, and you can accept all those little things that make you crazy about someone else.

I'm still waiting on all the cool little details, where you met, what he looks like, why you love him so much, how great he is, what he does for a living, is he a student, if so what's his major... C'mon! Hand 'em over! :dance:
 
greenfreak said:
Others will disagree with me on this but I firmly believe that living with someone for at least a year before you get married is essential. That's just another step of ensuring you're compatible, you can compromise, and you can accept all those little things that make you crazy about someone else.
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I agree (with reserves) but not for longer than a year. Long enough to see their foibles in all four seasons. But if by then you don't have the motivation or dedication to get it done, you probably shouldn't.

On the other hand, if you were living together, with no intention of getting married, and then the issue come up .... Often that imbalance will destroy what would have worked out well staying just as sexual roomies.


But then, people's ideas about what marriage is today are so distorted by the lens of personal desire, I don't hold great hope for anyone anymore. I just give what advice I think they might listen to, and wish them the best.
 
I can only draw from my own experience and those close to me about "living in sin" as my Dad calls it. Myself and Rusty are a unique situation considering the value we put on marraige (or lack thereof) and that we don't want to have kids.

But my sister did live with her first husband for only a few months before getting married, and less than a year after they met. She's told me afterwards that the warning signs were there but she chose to ignore them, telling herself all sorts of things like that love will overcome their differences, that he will become more loving over time, that their problems were no big deal. What you said in another thread held true for them - they were both very agressive and both wanted to lead. They also pictured marraige/living together as a big party and didn't really work at anything.

In the end, it wasn't that they were too different; they were too much alike and uncompromising. I'm really glad that it stopped when it did, before they wasted years of their lives on each other and possibly bringing kids into a bad marraige. They also married in their young 20's, before maturity set in and before they had a better idea of who they were and what they wanted out of life.

Her second husband is great, they met later in their 20's, they have three kids and the difference is night and day. It's a very rare success story where she got pregnant, they got married, and it actually worked wonderfully.

My brother, on the other hand... Not even going to go there.
 
Professur said:
Now that's not fair. Acutally, I'm sure that Ash is going to do well (once she grows out of the habit of writing on herself). After all, she's hung around with all of us for years. I'm sure she could have guessed everyone's reaction, individually. And since she's seen the total bollux some people's relationships have turned into, compared to the paradise others have built, I'm certain she's gonna travel right path. After all, she's got the benefit of how many people's experience?

Good luck, Ash
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Let's hope she can utilize it better than me though...right? :lloyd:
 
I dunno... if it were me, I think finding out my sister's engaged would be worth a couple of peak minutes.
 
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