Joke of the day

[alex]

As I was packing for my business trip, my 3-year old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point, she said, "Daddy, look at this," and stuck out two of her fingers.

Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her tiny fingers in my mouth and said, "Daddy's gonna eat your fingers!" pretending to eat them before I rushed out of the room again.

When I returned, my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face.

I said, "What's wrong, honey?"

She replied, "What happened to my booger?"

 

[tonksy]

at least my girls just wipe them on you...

 

[SexyBoo]

 

[Oz]

Great!

*glad he ate tea earlier*

 

[AlphaTroll]

Strange how many people that's happened to... guess parents across the world have eaten their kids' boogers without even noticing!

 

[Raven]

eurgh but a bit at the same time ^^

 

[Oz]

Strange how many people that's happened to... guess parents across the world have eaten their kids' boogers without even noticing!

Salty.........

 

[Professur]

 

[AlphaTroll]

Hmm, and if you happen to be chewing gum at the time.....

 

[Raven]

Theres an image I dont need

 

[Sharky]

 

[AlphaTroll]

All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.

It is if you're James Bond.

 

[Raven]

But he isnt James Bo.... *attracted to Av*

dammit girl change that thi.... *attracted*

 

[AlphaTroll]

Girls' Night Out

Two women friends had gone for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers.

Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to pee.

They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a head stone or something.

The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she thought she'd take off her panties, use them, then throw them away.

Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on one of the graves and proceeded to wipe herself with that.

After finishing, they then made off for home.

The next day the first woman's husband phoned the other husband and said; "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties"

"That's nothing" said the other, "Mine came back with a card stuck between the cheeks of her ass that said; 'From all of us at the Fire Station. We'll never forget you."

 

[MrBishop]

Girls' Night Out

Two women friends had gone for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers.

Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to pee.

They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a head stone or something.

The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she thought she'd take off her panties, use them, then throw them away.

Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on one of the graves and proceeded to wipe herself with that.

After finishing, they then made off for home.

The next day the first woman's husband phoned the other husband and said; "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties"

"That's nothing" said the other, "Mine came back with a card stuck between the cheeks of her ass that said; 'From all of us at the Fire Station. We'll never forget you."

At least it wasn't thorns 'tween her cheeks. There's nothing quite like getting pricked there.

 

[Gato_Solo]

At least it wasn't thorns 'tween her cheeks. There's nothing quite like getting pricked there.

You said 'pricked'

 

[Raven]

hehe he said cheeks... nah that doesnt work but

@ AT

 

[Gato_Solo]

One night, a 70 year old lady was on her way home alone from a late dinner party with her bridge club. As she passed an alley, a man with a gun jumped out, and told her to hand over all her money.
The old woman replied, "I have no money with me", and shrugged her shoulders.
The man, not to be told no, then told the old woman to empty out her purse onto the ground. Sure enough, not one dime came out of her purse. "Alright", he said, "Turn around and face the wall. I know you've got some money stashed somewhere...", and proceeded to frisk the old lady. He patted her up, down, everywhere for around 3 minutes, and finally gave up. "Lady, you're right. You have no money", to which the lady replies, "Hell...pat me down like that for 10 more minutes, and I'll write you a check..."

 

[chcr]

These remind me of two bad ones:

A guy grabs a nun, drags her to the bushes and rapes her. When he's finished he says, "What are you going to tell your father-confessor now?" She replies, "Unless you're tired I'm going to tell him you raped me twice."

A guy grabs two nuns, drags them off and starts raping one. The other begins praying, "Forgive him father for he knows not what he does." The first nun hits her and says, "Shut up, this one does."

Okay, okay, they're awful. I'm a horrible person etc., etc., etc. (Don't I seem concerned?)

 

[tonksy]

two nuns are driving down the road. all of a sudden a vampire jumps on the hood of the car and starts gnashing his teeth. the nun driving starts to swerve and speed up...nothing...she slams on her brakes...nothing. the other nun, sensing the first nuns panic says, "show him your cross!"
the first nun says, "good idea"...she rolls down her window and yells "get the fuck off my car!".......see, your cross = you're cross.....funny in my world.