Liberal Agenda for today
8:00 – Wake up. Hug tree.
8:10 – Quick breakfast of Wheaties w/ banana and unborn fetuses, stem cells spread on toast.
8:20 – Get dressed in hemp suit.
8:30 – Miscellaneous worship of false idols.
8:45 - Drive to methadone clinic in hybrid car; 30% electric, 70% Bible furnace.
8:50 – Receive methadone. Sell for pot.
9:00 – Catch up on a little reading: Torah, Koran, Book of Mormon, other books not The Bible.
10:00 – Stop on way to welfare office to break out puppies from the pound.
10:20 – Pickup welfare check.
10:30 – Cash check.
10:35 – Buy more pot.
11:30 – Miscellaneous Sodomy.
12:00 – Light lunch of sushi and stem cell pie, plus cappuccino, at upscale coffee shop.
12:30 – Stop at nearest cemetery to bleach flags on veterans' graves.
1:30 – Miscellaneous coveting.
3:00 – Give out pamphlets to show teens how to do "home abortions".
3:30 – Spray paint graffiti on a church.
4:00 – Meeting with Jews for instructions on what news stories to run today.
5:00 – Formal dinner/fundraiser of virgin Christian sacrifice. Guest speakers Michael Moore, Al Franken, Satan, and Bizarro Ann Coulter.
6:30 – Smoke cigars lit by a burning pictures of Jesus
6:45 – Infiltrate the school system to attract impressionable young student to the homosexual lifestyle.
7:00 – Miscellaneous taking the Lord's name in vain.
7:10 – Smoke pot.
7:15 – Giggle for about twenty minutes.
7:35 – Order pizza with extra cheese and stem cells.
8:00 – Pay pizza man in food stamps.
8:30 – Watch Real Time with Bill Maher.
9:30 – Bedtime snack of nachos with three kind of cheese and peppers. No stem cells, watching weight.
10:00 – Miscellaneous dishonor of mother and father.
10:30 – Early bedtime, need rest for tomorrow's All-Day Sodomy Fest.
