My Step-daughter

Depends on the child, really. If she is closer to 6 then dumbing it down makes the situation easier to grasp - especially if they are being very emotional about it.
 
Dumbing the whole thing down, perhaps, while making sure she knows the promise was the marriage makes a clear distinction. Otherwise, making promises takes on a whole new level of emotional discord that she isn't ready for. Although, that may not be a bad thing.
 
Gonz said:
Dumbing the whole thing down, perhaps, while making sure she knows the promise was the marriage makes a clear distinction. Otherwise, making promises takes on a whole new level of emotional discord that she isn't ready for. Although, that may not be a bad thing.
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I essentially don't make promises...my dad used to read me the book "A Promise is a Promise" and I don't know the last time I made a promise, I'm scared of them.
 
Professur said:
You have no idea how much that statement makes me want to go out an beat the living shit outta something. Preferably something wearing a pin stripe suit and carrying an attache case.
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Ya - I could have done without having those 4 other moms and 1 other dad.:shrug:
tonksy said:
Spirit, you might want to dumb the situation down a bit if she asked about what happened. I would stick with "Mommy made a promise to Daddy but she kept breaking her promise which hurt Daddy very much and they decided that they weren't happy and Mommy left."
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I wonder if Ian will consider that. I don't know - it's really tough because we don't want to burden her further.?
Nixy said:
How old is her step-daughter?
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She's 7 - 8 in December and an incredibly intelligent and astute little girl, to boot.
Gonz said:
Dumbing the whole thing down, perhaps, while making sure she knows the promise was the marriage makes a clear distinction. Otherwise, making promises takes on a whole new level of emotional discord that she isn't ready for. Although, that may not be a bad thing.
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:crap: I don't know.. I feel for her but by the same token, perhaps she is old enough and sharp enough to deal with the truth?
 
Spirit said:
- it's really tough because we don't want to burden her further.?
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Her mother already placed this burden on her shoulders.

Spirit said:
perhaps she is old enough and sharp enough to deal with the truth?
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She is already dealing with the truth. Her mom is a slut & prefers sex to her child. You can't change that. You can make it clear to her who what & why (within reason). Make sure that daddy does this, preferably while you're at the grocer or something. Once the fog has cleared, you can get involved, letting her know that you'll help her as she sees fit. Unfortuantely, the child is in charge. It'll always be her dad/mom. Wives/husbands are replaceable. That's is the lesson in divorce. That's also why she must learn of consequences. This wasn't just some willy nilly decision emotional decision.
 
Just today we were discussing financial things. Including the child support we get from our Ex's. Child support is based on the non-custodial parents total household income. Well, now that *she* is married, the child support should be based on what her and her husband file their annual income as. Ian said he doesn't care, that he doesn't want their money, period. He said he doesn't want anything of his Ex's or anything to do with the man that ripped their marriage appart to begin with. Personally, I say make her pay what the federal guidelines say she should pay - and not to look at it as being *their* money, but more that it's his kids money. I don't know. It pisses me off - I feel like she gets off scott free for her horrible actions. Like she's not being held accountable. I just feel pissed about it. It was so hard for Ian to tell me.
 
Why should she suffer even further? Tell him to take every dime & apply it towards a college education. A vacation. A pony. Satelite TV. Whatever. It is the girls money, not his. He's just the custodian.

He needs to put his pride aside & fight for everything she's worth (both of them)
 
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