Official OTC Gross-Out Contest

[singing]

Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
mutilated monkey meat, bloody little birdie's feet

French-fried eyeballs floating in a pool of blood
And I forgot my spoon.

[/singing]
 
Sharky said:
[singing]

Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
mutilated monkey meat, bloody little birdie's feet

French-fried eyeballs floating in a pool of blood
And I forgot my spoon.

[/singing]
Click to expand...

But I remembered my straaaawwwwww...[/slurping]
 
So, a few nights ago, my bf wasn't feeling very well tummy wise and had spent most of the evening in the bathroom with fits of diarrhea. Well, sometime in the middle of that very same night he lost control of his bowels while we were sleeping... I can't think of anything nastier than waking up in a puddle of your sig others liquid shit. What's worse is that it was more the horrendous smell that immediately made us aware of the situation and not the warm brown liquid clinging to our bodies...

 
I've had some rude smells greet me before, too. When I was at work at Food 4 Less, I was in the back pulling cardboard out of a wheeled bin to put in the cardboard baler. At the bottom of the bin was a box full of cans of tuna, with a dent in the bottom corner. Apparently, a forklift had hit the box there and punctured one of the cans, because it smelled terrible and was absolutely teeming with maggots. Remembering that smell now still turns my stomach.
 
I used to work doing company picnics. Someone once found a huge meat cooler that apparently hadn't been unloaded with the leftovers since the last job - 3 weeks back. Thye opened it, the smell hit the guy who lifted the lid, and he promptly puked into the rotted goo on the bottom of the cooler, adding his own eau'de'cologne to the lovely mix.

Somebody had to scoop it out, and then get in there with a bleach soaked rag to clean it. Those coolers were nice and deep, so you had to get yer face right on down there.

That was way nastier than being shit or puked on, and I've had both happen to me.
 
I've twice had to clean diarrhea off the walls of the women's restroom at work. Once at Food 4 Less and once at Home Depot. Food 4 Less was worse... that time, shit was all over two walls and the floor.
 
We went pretenda camping and took the risk of using the restroom facilities there. A male state trooper was in there so we looked at him kind of funny and he told us that we didn't want to use this facility. We simply said okay and he asked if we wanted to know why. WIthout waiting for answer he told us that "someone did up there what they should have done down there" while pointing to the ceiling than the toliet. He opened the door and there was chunky diaherra all over the wall and dripping of the ceiling. How the hell that woman got it up there I don't want to know. I thought the dripping sound was simpluy the facuet or a leaky toliet, not shit falling off the walls.
 
Inkara1 said:
I've had some rude smells greet me before, too. When I was at work at Food 4 Less, I was in the back pulling cardboard out of a wheeled bin to put in the cardboard baler. At the bottom of the bin was a box full of cans of tuna, with a dent in the bottom corner. Apparently, a forklift had hit the box there and punctured one of the cans, because it smelled terrible and was absolutely teeming with maggots. Remembering that smell now still turns my stomach.
Click to expand...

An old favorite crewboat prank is for someone to hide an opened can of tuna in a crewmate's bunkroom. By the time they find it the smell is awful. :devious:
 
when a ship is not on deployment or isn't scheduled to go out for awhile you have what they call "a yard period". sailor's will refer to it as "going to the yards"...anyway...my department was responsible for a potty in a far off corner of the ship. this potty was kept locked while not at sea. so when we pulled into port and went into a yard period that head was locked and forgotten about. thing is is that they were working on the sewage on the ship. they were blowing the lines. you are suppose to turn off the water to all toilets while they do this. someone from my department didn't....a few days later someone reports a bad smell in that area.
inside that head was something i've only seen in movies. remember the bathroom in trainspotting? i would rather clean that one....because i had to clean the other being the most junior personnel in my office at the time.
there was a vaeritable medly of human waste plastering the bulkheads...it was dripping down into the angleirons. thank god the floor was nonskid so i didn't fall in the mess.
i cried while i did it. it was....alarmingly repulsive.
 
Not anywhere near as gross as some of the posts here :sick: but...

One of my mates used to do the party trick of putting the tip of a condom (unoccupied condom) in the back of his throat then sniffing it up into his nostril so he had one end hanging out of his nostril and the other out of his mouth :eh:

He didn't get laid much at parties.....
 
Tour gets dumped on by Dave Matthews Band

Rock star Dave Matthews and his tour bus driver are facing a filthy lawsuit.

The Illinois Attorney General's office says they're responsible for dumping up to 800-gallons of raw human waste from a tour bus onto the Kinzie Street Bridge earlier this month.

The nasty mess rained down on passengers aboard a sightseeing boat two weeks ago.
Click to expand...

Actually around August 10th as this article came out August 24th.
 
Did he use the condom like that to keep it from going to waste because he didn't get laid, or did he not get laid because of that?
 
Inkara1 said:
Did he use the condom like that to keep it from going to waste because he didn't get laid, or did he not get laid because of that?
Click to expand...

Probably because of that....most lasses don't seem to care for a man that has more spermicide in their throat than the lass herself ;)

He was a bit of a tit anyway :D
 
HomeLAN said:
I used to work doing company picnics. Someone once found a huge meat cooler that apparently hadn't been unloaded with the leftovers since the last job - 3 weeks back. Thye opened it, the smell hit the guy who lifted the lid, and he promptly puked into the rotted goo on the bottom of the cooler, adding his own eau'de'cologne to the lovely mix.

Somebody had to scoop it out, and then get in there with a bleach soaked rag to clean it. Those coolers were nice and deep, so you had to get yer face right on down there.

That was way nastier than being shit or puked on, and I've had both happen to me.
Click to expand...
I remember that cooler.
 
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