Ok so we are having a conversation about romance here

Lust is biochemical and often mistaken for love. True love is what happens after the initial lust wears off. If you can still stand to be around each other, still can talk together or enjoy silence together, if you still play, laugh and cry together...you're most likely in love.

Romance...aah. The little things that prove that you're not taking your partner for granted. That you're thinking about them.

It doesn't have to be something bought, or a huge amount of effort expended. A secret smile, holding hands, a little note hidden in a book they're reading that says 'I love you'. It's the little things...

The big things which disguise themselves as romance are more of an effort at saying "I'm sorry" for some transgression.
 
hmmm
"oh gosh I'd like to make him happy"? Or do you think "oh gosh I'd be happy if I were with him"?
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well, for one thing, you wouldn't hear me say GOSH! :eyebrow:

'happy' is also an indeterminate term, how would I know I'd really be 'happy'? I might, due to the hormones and biochemicals and shit, only think that I would be happy - but thats all physiological, as bish says and not got anything to do with authentic, respectful love.

to quote myself earlier, if I was in lust with this "sweet" guy...I would recognise that I was tricking myself into thinking that I was in love in order to, to put it plainly, 'make babies'.

when people try to do something to please the other to serve their own means: as in romance, it becomes a game of exchange that goes on to serve their own agenda.
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After thats worn off, then I'd really know if I was happy or if it was all just one big biological trick.... and so I wouldn't bother making HIM happy, if all he was was an object of lust to me then why bother? I'd stick around for the fun and see if anything came out of it but the odds of that are unlikely, from my observation, the best love is always based on friendship, not superficial attraction. But if the attraction and the friendship is there: then you have a winner...

I may go into a relationship thinking, ' omigod, like, this is the man of my dreams' but realistically all I am wondering is when it is going to end, because frankly - when your attracted to someone out of lust - you're hardly thinking about making them HAPPY, by any means. ANd to me, it would hardly be worth the effort : I've been let down one to many times to waste the energy in wondering whether investing all my effort in trying to make him happy will return any security for me.

you soon learn the reality of the situation (ie: whether or not you are ready to love or if it was a sort of romantic self-gratification) when you wake up and there is nothing there anymore, thats because the romantic perception is only infatuation and impermanent; so two people behave as though they are living off each other like parasites: giving or taking rather than simply loving each other and respecting their existence
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Well, when with the hubby, and the kids were finally in bed, it usually was hurry up get naked they are asleep, then you'd hear Mommmm or Dadddd, and then it was usually like this.......Sh Sh Sh Sh Sh Sh Sh Sh Ahhhhhhhhhhh.Kids thought you were telling them to Sh.....

As for now, things get overwelming at times, so little things that someone does can be romantic to me.
 
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