Shadowfax
<b>mod cow</b>
Thought it would be nice to post some of the funniest lyrics you know...plus the title and singer...
Here are 2 favourites of mine:
Dennis Leary
I'm an asshole
Folks, I’d like to sing a song about the American Dream
About me, about you
About the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottom of our chests
About that special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts
Maybe below the cockles,
Maybe in the sub cockle area,
Maybe in the liver, maybe in the kidneys,
Maybe even in the colon, we don’t know
I’m just a regular Joe, with a regular job
I’m your average white, suburbanite slob
I like football and porno and books about war
I got an average house, with a nice hardwood floor
My wife and my job, my kids and my car
My feet on my table, and a Cuban cigar
But sometimes that just ain’t enough to keep a man like me interested
(oh no, no way, uh uh)
No I gotta go out and have fun at someone else’s expense
(woah yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah)
I drive really slow in the ultra fast lane
While people behind me are going insane
I’m an asshole (he’s an asshole)
I’m an asshole (he’s an asshole, such an asshole)
I use public toilets and I piss on the seat
I walk around in the summer time saying “how about this heat”
I’m an asshole (he’s an asshole)
I’m an asshole (he’s the world’s biggest asshole)
Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces
While handicapped people make handicapped faces
I’m an asshole (he’s an asshole)
I’m an asshole (he’s a real fucking asshole)
Maybe I shouldn’t be singing this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe they’re right when they tell me I’m wrong
Nah
I’m an asshole (he’s an asshole)
I’m an asshole (he’s the world’s biggest asshole)
You know what I’m gonna do
I’m gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac Eldorado convertible
Hot pink, with whale skin hubcaps
And all leather cow interior
And make brown baby seal lions for head lights (yeah)
And I’m gonna drive in that baby at 115 miles per hour
Gettin' 1 mile per gallon,
Sucking down Quarter Pounder cheeseburgers from McDonald’s
In the old fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers
And when I’m done sucking down those greeseball burgers
I’m gonna wipe my mouth with the American flag
And then I’m gonna toss the styrofoam containers right out the side
And there ain’t a goddamn thing anybody can do about it
You know why, because we’ve got the bombs, that’s why
2 words, nuclear fuckin’ weapons, OK?
Russia, Germany, Romania, they can have all the democracy they want
They can have a big democracy cakewalk
Right through the middle of Tinian Square
and it won’t make a lick of difference
Because we’ve got the bombs, OK?
John Wayne's not dead, he’s frozen, and as soon as we find a cure for cancer
We’re gonna thaw out the duke and he’s gonna be pretty pissed off
You know why,
Have you ever taken a cold shower, well multiply that by 15 million times
That’s how pissed off the duke’s gonna be!
I'm gonna get the Duke, and John Castive Eddies,
and Lee Marvin, and Sam Peckenthorp, and a case of whiskey,
and drive down to Texas...
(Hey! You know, you really are an asshole!)
Why don't you just shut up and sing the song, pal?
I’m an asshole (he’s an asshole)
I’m an asshole (he’s the world’s biggest asshole)
A-S-S-H-O-L-E
Everybody
A-S-S-H-O-L-E
I’m an asshole and I’m proud of it
Weird Al Yankovic
Amish Paradise
As i walk throught the valley where i harvest my grain,
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain.
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me,
you know I shun fancy things like electricity.
At 4:30 in the mornin' i'm milking cows,
Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
and I've been milking and plowing so long that
even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone.
I'm a man of the land, I'm into disipline,
got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin,
but if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine,
then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699.
(Chorus)
we've been spending most our lives living in an Amish Paradise,
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish Paradise,
It's hard work and sacrafice, living in an Amish Paradise,
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish Paradise.
A local boy kicked me in the butt last week,
i just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek.
I don't really care, in fact I wish him well,
cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in Hell.
I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it,
an Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of.
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat,
and my homies agree i really look good in black, fool
If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears,
we haven't even payed the phone bill in 300 years,
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare,
we're just technologically impaired.
there's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single
luxury,
like robonson curoso, it's as primitve as can be,
(chorus)
we've been spending most our lives living in an Amish Paradise,
we're just plain and simple guys, living in an Amish Paradise,
there's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish Paradise,
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish Paradise
Hitching up the buggy, churning lots of butter,
raised a barn on Monday, soon i'll raise anutter
think you're really rightious?
think you're pure in heart?
well i know i'm a million times as humble as thou art.
I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
on my knees day and night scoring points for the acolyte.
so don't be vain, and don't be whiney,
or else my brother might have to get mideval on you heiny.
(chorus)
we've been spending most our lives living in an Amish Paradise,
We're all crazy mennenites, living in an Amish Paradise,
there's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish Paradise,
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish Paradise,
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
ah-ah
ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah,
yech!
Here are 2 favourites of mine:
Dennis Leary
I'm an asshole
Folks, I’d like to sing a song about the American Dream
About me, about you
About the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottom of our chests
About that special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts
Maybe below the cockles,
Maybe in the sub cockle area,
Maybe in the liver, maybe in the kidneys,
Maybe even in the colon, we don’t know
I’m just a regular Joe, with a regular job
I’m your average white, suburbanite slob
I like football and porno and books about war
I got an average house, with a nice hardwood floor
My wife and my job, my kids and my car
My feet on my table, and a Cuban cigar
But sometimes that just ain’t enough to keep a man like me interested
(oh no, no way, uh uh)
No I gotta go out and have fun at someone else’s expense
(woah yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah)
I drive really slow in the ultra fast lane
While people behind me are going insane
I’m an asshole (he’s an asshole)
I’m an asshole (he’s an asshole, such an asshole)
I use public toilets and I piss on the seat
I walk around in the summer time saying “how about this heat”
I’m an asshole (he’s an asshole)
I’m an asshole (he’s the world’s biggest asshole)
Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces
While handicapped people make handicapped faces
I’m an asshole (he’s an asshole)
I’m an asshole (he’s a real fucking asshole)
Maybe I shouldn’t be singing this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe they’re right when they tell me I’m wrong
Nah
I’m an asshole (he’s an asshole)
I’m an asshole (he’s the world’s biggest asshole)
You know what I’m gonna do
I’m gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac Eldorado convertible
Hot pink, with whale skin hubcaps
And all leather cow interior
And make brown baby seal lions for head lights (yeah)
And I’m gonna drive in that baby at 115 miles per hour
Gettin' 1 mile per gallon,
Sucking down Quarter Pounder cheeseburgers from McDonald’s
In the old fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers
And when I’m done sucking down those greeseball burgers
I’m gonna wipe my mouth with the American flag
And then I’m gonna toss the styrofoam containers right out the side
And there ain’t a goddamn thing anybody can do about it
You know why, because we’ve got the bombs, that’s why
2 words, nuclear fuckin’ weapons, OK?
Russia, Germany, Romania, they can have all the democracy they want
They can have a big democracy cakewalk
Right through the middle of Tinian Square
and it won’t make a lick of difference
Because we’ve got the bombs, OK?
John Wayne's not dead, he’s frozen, and as soon as we find a cure for cancer
We’re gonna thaw out the duke and he’s gonna be pretty pissed off
You know why,
Have you ever taken a cold shower, well multiply that by 15 million times
That’s how pissed off the duke’s gonna be!
I'm gonna get the Duke, and John Castive Eddies,
and Lee Marvin, and Sam Peckenthorp, and a case of whiskey,
and drive down to Texas...
(Hey! You know, you really are an asshole!)
Why don't you just shut up and sing the song, pal?
I’m an asshole (he’s an asshole)
I’m an asshole (he’s the world’s biggest asshole)
A-S-S-H-O-L-E
Everybody
A-S-S-H-O-L-E
I’m an asshole and I’m proud of it
Weird Al Yankovic
Amish Paradise
As i walk throught the valley where i harvest my grain,
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain.
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me,
you know I shun fancy things like electricity.
At 4:30 in the mornin' i'm milking cows,
Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
and I've been milking and plowing so long that
even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone.
I'm a man of the land, I'm into disipline,
got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin,
but if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine,
then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699.
(Chorus)
we've been spending most our lives living in an Amish Paradise,
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish Paradise,
It's hard work and sacrafice, living in an Amish Paradise,
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish Paradise.
A local boy kicked me in the butt last week,
i just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek.
I don't really care, in fact I wish him well,
cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in Hell.
I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it,
an Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of.
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat,
and my homies agree i really look good in black, fool
If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears,
we haven't even payed the phone bill in 300 years,
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare,
we're just technologically impaired.
there's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single
luxury,
like robonson curoso, it's as primitve as can be,
(chorus)
we've been spending most our lives living in an Amish Paradise,
we're just plain and simple guys, living in an Amish Paradise,
there's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish Paradise,
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish Paradise
Hitching up the buggy, churning lots of butter,
raised a barn on Monday, soon i'll raise anutter
think you're really rightious?
think you're pure in heart?
well i know i'm a million times as humble as thou art.
I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
on my knees day and night scoring points for the acolyte.
so don't be vain, and don't be whiney,
or else my brother might have to get mideval on you heiny.
(chorus)
we've been spending most our lives living in an Amish Paradise,
We're all crazy mennenites, living in an Amish Paradise,
there's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish Paradise,
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish Paradise,
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
ah-ah
ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah,
yech!
