Pregnancy Q&A

[Camelyn]

Pregnancy Q& A

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough..

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

 

[tonksy]

wish i'd had my epidual upon confirmation of pregnancy.

 

[Inkara1]

I'm thinking of buying steel gloves for when I eventually have kids. That way, my fingers won't get broken in the delivery room.

 

[HomeLAN]

Using the can opener to get 'em off is hell. Inky.

 

[Inkara1]

But journalists need their fingers to type. I think an hour with the can opener and the blowtorch would leave me better off than a few weeks of being unable to type.

 

[Gonz]

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

That soon?

 

[Professur]

I'm guessing, Cam, that you find my situation amusing.

 

[MrBishop]

Thanks Karen! That was friggin' hilarious!!

 

[Nixy]

I'm guessing, Cam, that you find my situation amusing.

I find it amusing!!!

If you had just KEPT YOUR PANTS ON til you got to the snippy doctor you'd be fine...you deserve what you get

 

[Camelyn]

I'm guessing, Cam, that you find my situation amusing.

Who, Me? Never

 

[Professur]

I find it amusing!!!

If you had just KEPT YOUR PANTS ON til you got to the snippy doctor you'd be fine...you deserve what you get

Your day will come, my dear. And I've got a long memory.

 

[freako104]

good one cam!

 

[Nixy]

Your day will come, my dear. And I've got a long memory.

*looks around*

*smirks*

*rubs belly*

Maybe sooner than you think...























































hahaha ok, TOTALLY joking!! Don't go gettin the 2x4 out of anything!

 

[PrincessLissa]

I'm thinking of buying steel gloves for when I eventually have kids. That way, my fingers won't get broken in the delivery room.

Most doctors tell the father to let teh wife hold thier arm(s) and not the hands for that reason.

 

[Professur]

Most doctors tell the father to let teh wife hold thier arm(s) and not the hands for that reason.

funny. Ours keeps telling me to put the knife away.

 

[SexyBoo]

That was great!

 

[Professur]

So Bish, you getting on the lopitoffame train?

 

[MrBishop]

You mean a vasectomy?

We're discussing the potential for the 'family of five' - though, with a matched set...it's less serious