Silly Human Stories

SexyBoo

SexyBoo

Well-Known Member
:rofl3:
21-Year-Old Can't Remember Who His Wife Is
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]LAS VEGAS/LONDON - 21-year-old British student James Cripps had a swinging time during his visit to Sin City. He drank, he gambled, he drank some more, and then he got married. The problem is that Cripps has little memory of his new wife, nor can he recall much of the ceremony. Once back home he put off telling his girlfriend about his new wife for several days, but now that the news has been broken he has begun the humiliating process of trying to find his bride, a 26-year-old optician from Australia, and to persuade her to agree to an annulment. "I was way too drunk," he was quoted as saying, "We thought it would be a laugh if we got married." He added: "It was funny for a while, but now my ex-girlfriend is never going to talk to me again."
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PuterTutor said:
Bahhahahahhahahaa


What a dumbass.
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If she hasn't contacted him either, or tried, she can't be too smart herself. It just shows how stupid people will act under the influence. Did he really think it wasn't legally binding? Fools!!!!
 
tonks said:
i've never been that drunk.....
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Most of us are smart enough to stop before we do something stupid. Obviously, others don't. If we didn't have idiots like this in the world, we wouldn't have anyone to make fun of.
 
I can just imagine. First of all, I'm guessing he was heading towards the doghouse for going to Vegas without his girlfriend, but then, "Um, Honey, I kinda got married in Vegas, only I don't know who to."
 
i think the dumbest thing i ever did drunk was when i was about 17, i asked a mall security guy what the fuck he was looking at...needless to say we were asked to leave the premises....but i still think he was looking at my butt...of course there was this time at a science fiction convention where my friend and i made earl grey tea in the bath tub...but i think there was more involved than alcohol....danced on a bar or 12, but if you knew me that wouldn't come as much of a surprise...i've beer goggled pretty hard but i never married the schmuck. :D
 
I think the worst thing that has ever happened to me was getting so drunk, I ended puking on my best friends boyfriends shoes and of course some of it got onto his jeans. I felt awful. Otherwise, I try not to go overboard, so that I don't make an ass out of myself.
 
Oh my God! :lol:

[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The Ball Washer is for GOLF Balls, Sir![/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Based on a bet by the other members of his threesome, Mr. Everitt Sanchez tried to wash his own "balls" in a ball washer at the local golf course. Proving once again that beer and testosterone are a bad mix, Sanchez managed to straddle the ball washer and dangle his scrotum in the machine. Much to his dismay, one of his buddies upped the ante by spinning the crank on the machine with Sanchez's scrotum in place, thus wedging them solidly in the mechanism.[/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Sanchez, who immediately passed his threshold of pain, collapsed and tumbled from his perch. Unfortunately for Sanchez, the height of the ball washer was more than a foot higher off the ground than his testicles are in a normal stance, and the scrotum was the weakest link. Sanchez's scrotum was ripped open during the fall, and one testicle was plucked from him forever and remained in the ball washer, while the other testicle was compressed and flattened as it was pulled between the housing of the washer, and the rotating machinery inside.[/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]To add insult to injury, Sanchez broke a new $300.00 driver that he had just purchased from the pro shop, that he was using to balance himself. Sanchez was rushed to the hospital for surgery, and the remaining threesome were asked to leave the course.
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We can take comfort in knowing that we don't have to do the dirty work of making sure this guy never reproduces... because he's done that for us.
 
Stupidest thing I've ever done was wake up next to the landlord. :sick:

Hmm. About that level of drunkenness would be the only way you'd get me down the aisle without kicking and screaming.
 
The first story I can still believe to be possible, obviously only due to the amount of alcohol consumed. We've all done rather daft things while outa our brackets (and I'm not telling what mine was).

But damn, that second guy just proves that beer should come with warning labels "Not to be consumed by the terminally stupid" :rolleyes:
 
Another sad story - made even more so by the fact that it didn't involve alcohol. :rofl2:

[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Italian Man's Penis Severed by Vacuum Cleaner[/font]
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]ITALY - A 63-year-old Italian man was vacuuming and decided to watch a porn tape to keep him entertained. He became so aroused that he put his penis into the vacuum cleaner and part of it was chopped off by the cleaner's fan. He hastily put the severed part into the freezer as he called an ambulance for help. He carried the separate piece to the hospital wrapped in a newspaper where he told doctors he had cut it off when shaving his pubic hair. Officials alerted the police anyway. Police later found blood on the man's vacuum, and he finally admitted how this happened. The severed piece was reattached during surgery, but doctors don't expect it to function properly again.
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