MrBishop
Well-Known Member
1. Jesse Jackson, Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an
impressive new book. It's called "Ministers Do More Than Lay
People."
2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.
3. The difference between the Pope and your boss....the Pope
only expects you to kiss his ring.
4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is
gone.
5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if
you're in the bathroom.
6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up,
the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.
7. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of
course,there's shipping and handling, too.
8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives
the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.
9. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines
and a large trash can
10. A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to
rip me off.
I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid."
11. I'm so depressed. My doctor refused to write me a prescription for
Viagra. He said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned
building.
12. My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how
he was and found him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I
told him rabies could be cured and he didn' t have to worry about a
Will.
He said, "Will? What Will? I'm making a list of the people I want to
bite."
13. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying
sex.
14. As we slide down the banister of life, may the splinters
never point the wrong way.
impressive new book. It's called "Ministers Do More Than Lay
People."
2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.
3. The difference between the Pope and your boss....the Pope
only expects you to kiss his ring.
4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is
gone.
5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if
you're in the bathroom.
6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up,
the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.
7. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of
course,there's shipping and handling, too.
8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives
the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.
9. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines
and a large trash can
10. A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to
rip me off.
I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid."
11. I'm so depressed. My doctor refused to write me a prescription for
Viagra. He said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned
building.
12. My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how
he was and found him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I
told him rabies could be cured and he didn' t have to worry about a
Will.
He said, "Will? What Will? I'm making a list of the people I want to
bite."
13. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying
sex.
14. As we slide down the banister of life, may the splinters
never point the wrong way.