Whats gives thee an impression that I would object to piercings? It's their body. They are the ones that have to suck up the consequences, not me. Once they are old enough, they can do whatever they like. My job as a parent is to install habits to keep them in school, off drugs, outta jail, not smoke, and avoid pregnancy. Outside of that it would be nice if they picked up a finer depth of common sense, the ability to manage personal finances, social skills, a sense of self-preservation, confidence working with tools and on cars, cook, drive a stick... but you can only lead them.. not strongarm.
What will we do then? Anything we want...duh. I didn't know being married was a requirement to having a purpose to life after the kids get kicked out. Frankly, it would be quite liberating.
I'm not going to be offended if they choose their own father over me to give them away in marriage; I would probably be all for it.. that way I don't have to rent an ill-fitting tux.
next objection?