Suicide??

[IDLEchild]

Your thoughts? Feelings? stories or anything else on this subject.

I, myself, don't find it to be a pragmatic approach toward problems but then again under the circumstances one might think differently. However, even then i maybe able to snap my self out of such daft thoughts and ways of ending problems.

Or one could become the oppsoite of suicidal - vengeful and bitter.

Which is better? To hate your own existence or hate all existence.

 

[PT]

Neither is healthy, obviously. I think everyone thinks about suicide from time to time. I know for awhile after my divorce from my first wife, I thought about it almost constantly, but then I had kids, and that's what kept me from acting on any of my thoughts. I don't think I've ever really felt hatred towards all existance though.

 

[tonksy]

suicide is weakness, i believe however in assisted suicide for terminally ill people. why suffer, if you're just gonna die, anyway?

 

[AlphaTroll]

I've never considered suicide as a way out - I'm a bit too optimistic at the best of times & at the worst I'm too pragmatic - tend to be the type who'd rather deal with stuff than take the easy way out.

I used to think that people who commit suicid are weak in some way - but I grew up & realised that others do not see the world the same as me, for some it truly does seem like the only way out of whatever situation they find themselves in.

I still think though that it's a rather selfish act - you might end your own immediate problems, but it does not end there for the people who love you & care for you - they are forever left with questions about what they could have done to prevent it or what they did to cause it.

It's a very radical & permanent solution to a temporary problem.

I think the only type of suicide I could in a way understand is assisted suicide for terminally ill people, because it's a release from the suffering for them & I guess also to the people who love them & would like to see them have some peace.

 

[AnomalousEntity]

Ninth grade.


I had this friend, he wasnt a close friend, or a best friend..but a long time friend. (since kindergarten so 10 years)

It was friday afternoon. We had just finsihed up wrestling practice in gym class. I was running and I accidentially ran up on the heels of the guy in front of me.

He pushed me and it really ticked me off. I was much stronger than him and with one hand I pinned him to a concrete wall with one hand and not much effort with my hand around his neck.

Both of his hands were free and even though my adrenaline was pumping, I hadnt put forth much effort and was still very much thinking straight.

I was about to let go and walk away when he took one of his free hands and punched me in the mouth. It wasnt a hard hit,...it didnt even hurt. But I felt blood. Curious...

I let go and walked to a mirror and saw a gaping mouth wound. I now know why you need a mouth piece for Tae Kwon do or any kind of sparring or boxing. Even a very mild hit in the mouth can cause a "through and through" wound by the cutting of sharp teeth against the back of the mouth. I could stick out my tounge without opening my mouth.

As I walked up to the office I saw him. He stood there with his mouth wide open....(not the guy who had hit me...the long time friend).

"man you got wacked" he said

I smiled and almost laughed. "naa..he just hit me in a certain way and my teeth cut..I would have pounded him but I was shocked that I was even hurt...now I really dont care. Its embarrasing but it was far from me being beat up..dont forget that" I told him.

He muttled somthing about forgetting or being around or somthing I couldnt make it out....

That was the last time I ever saw him.

I came back monday and heard the news....suicide by a coat hanger in his closet.

We were not close, but to this day I dont understand it, I never will, and I think about him way way more than Id ever like anyone I knew from back then to know....

I just wish, Id known. Or maybe not gotten in that fight. Maybe we could have hung out that Friday or somthing and things would be different....

 

[AlphaTroll]

Oh gods, that's sad AE

 

[IDLEchild]

why suffer, if you're just gonna die, anyway?

That's the idea behind any form of suicide.

I just wish, Id known. Or maybe not gotten in that fight. Maybe we could have hung out that Friday or somthing and things would be different....

So many people feel that way when confronted with the fact someone they knew died. They blame themselves partly for the suicide but you must understand...he was far off into depression...you could have only helped him a little in the time you had. It isn't your fault by any means.

 

[MrBishop]

My take on suicide was that it is the easy way out. If a person is willing to do something drastic in order to end all of their problems, then they should be willing to give up everything (While remaining alive) and work towards starting afresh. If that means quitting a job and going through retraining, or getting a divorce/breakup of a bad coupling, or moving to a new town and making new friends, then that path should be the one taken.

It not only leaves you open to new opportunities, but allows you to go back to some of what you had prior to the change. If you're dead, you'r unlikely to be able to look up old friends/family.

If you do manage to change your life, then going back to good friends might be difficultto rebuild your friendships with, but it'd be worth the effort.

 

[SexyBoo]

I think for many people, it is that the pain and suffering of life become too much to stand. They begin to feel hopeless.
They begin to feel so badly about themselves that they don't even consider the people in their lives that love them. Or, if they do think about it, they convince themselves that everyone would be better off without them anyway.
I don't consider it to be weakness, just becoming so beat down that they become incapable of dealing with life and the stress that seems to come all-too-often.

AE, I'm sorry to hear about your friend. That is a story you never told me. I really hope you don't let yourself feel responsible. You may have just prolonged the inevitable if he was that determined.

 

[PostCode]

I've never personally thought about it as a way out but I think every situation has to be considered.

Now, not many of you have been in a war, or served in the military. Hell, many of you are still to young to enlist. However, until you've experienced it, you can't say anything about it. Until you yourself are in a situation where you have someone shooting at you with the intent of killing you, you have no idea what that feeling is.

When I was in Iraq back in 90 a couple guys I knew were holed up in a building that was surrounded. They were fairly well armed but lacked support. It took a bit to get our asses to their positions. During this time were listening on the radios to the firefight. These guys were getting shit thrown at them from all sides, yet were sending out just as much. When you're surrounded though, the feeling of helplessness is even greater.

In the end, our unit arrived and managed to breakup the attack. It happened so fast, I really don't remember to much of it when I try and think about it now. Anyway, after we got them out of there and back to the holding area, those two guys were a fucking mess. They were crying like babies and I have to say that I couldn't blame them. They just spent the last 2 hours fighting for their lives.

Later, after my bud, I'll call him Clark, calmed down and managed to compose himself, wanted to talk. He said he couldn't go on. He needed to get out of here. Hell, I can understand that. Nobody wanted to be there. Anyway, I looked at him and it dawned on me that he didn't want out of Iraq, he wanted out of life. Oh fuck. This guy's gone off the deep end.

I talked to him for a while. Friend to friend. Shootin' the shit about home, beer, girls, whatever he wanted to talk about. I just tried to keep his mind off the incident and on other tasks. It was futile though. This guy needed help.

Later on I called up the aid station and reported it to the doc there. He told me he would get it taken care of. The doc took him off the line and drew up orders to get him state side.

A few days later he was gone. Bullet in the head.

I think about it now and realize that maybe he knew what the end result was going to be. Him losing his mind down the road, suffering with nightmares and PTSD. Maybe he knew what he was in for.

Maybe, just maybe, you can say one thing, but until you yourself have been through the situation, you can never ever judge a person's decisions.

I just don't know.

 

[AnomalousEntity]

Some people should never be in the service nor should they be policemen, firemen, EMTs etc.

Unfortunately, we lack the screening to keep these people out of harms way. They do it any way thinking they will never see any action. When it hits, they are over come by fear. The fear turns itself into a kinda "imprint" in the mind that we call PTSD.

Its a specific personality type that is prone to this.

There are also many reports of service men who held up well under fire and end up proud. Telling stories about "you just dont know what your capable of until your under fire...I found a strength from some where and I did it!"

 

[Squiggy]

I've been passive suicidal for as long as I can remember. I don't want to kill myself. I just don't want to wake up anymore...

 

[Oz]

Now, not many of you have been in a war, or served in the military. Hell, many of you are still to young to enlist. However, until you've experienced it, you can't say anything about it. Until you yourself are in a situation where you have someone shooting at you with the intent of killing you, you have no idea what that feeling is.

Man, that quote reminds me of a friend of mine.

He lost his father when a ferry capsised in the Norh Sea.....felt suicidal and decided he didn't have the bottle to go through with the act himself.

He joined the army.....his theory being that eventually he would see active service and someone else (presumably the enemy or friendly fire) would help him on his journey off the face of the earth.

He never saw active service ......... he was involved in an accident where he recieved a head injury and was pensioned out of the forces.

Now he is stable again (mentally) quite happy in his life and, as far as I know, enjoying living again...........unfortuneatly the head injury he recieved has left him with epilepsy......he suffers from Grande Mal seizures which are getting progressively worse (he needed to be resussitated after the last couple)........so, in a weird twist of fate, his attempts at using the armed forces as a vehicle to end his life are still gonna happen, eventually

 

[Squiggy]

He joined the army.....his theory being that eventually he would see active service and someone else (presumably the enemy or friendly fire) would help him on his journey off the face of the earth.

Interesting...Thats the reason I quit school and joined the Marines in '69.

 

[SexyBoo]

I've been passive suicidal for as long as I can remember. I don't want to kill myself. I just don't want to wake up anymore...

Aw Squiggy! That is a horrible way to feel - I can relate because I feel that way most days myself.

 

[Ms Ann Thrope]

I've been passive suicidal for as long as I can remember. I don't want to kill myself. I just don't want to wake up anymore...

I can certainly relate to that, -- I've been tired for years...

A long time ago I tried to kill myself, and it wasn't because I wanted to hurt anyone, or because I didn't feel loved, or worthy. I was just tired of taking care of things. Yes, suicide is a selfish act, and let me tell you, I was sick and tired of thinking about everyone else first.

Now, several decades later, I still occasionally think about suicide although I'm certainly not planning on killing myself. I suspect most people think about their own death occasionally. I believe that there are as many reasons someone may want to die as others may want to live. Perhaps if I believed in life after death, or some sort of 'god,' I wouldn't consider it a viable option. Frankly, I do see it as a personal choice, and not just for the terminally ill. So the people left behind are hurt? They'll get over it. So there's so much left to do, and see, and eat, and drink, and love? Well, maybe one has had enough. Maybe one has eaten his fill, experienced all he cares to, and now simply wants to end the ride, enjoyable though it was.

But then, I don't believe that there is any meaning to life, or the universe. I'm a pile of bone, fat and other stuff acting on learned behaviours that emerged as a way of protecting the species. It's all DNA, dudes.

 

[Squiggy]

Yup...Its that simple.

 

[Roxy]

Last year, mid august.

One of my friends I had known since the 4th grade killed himself.
He was a truly wonderful and brilliant person. We lived in the same apartments when we were younger, and our parents would take turns taking us to school and all that.

He was those quiet yet genius types though. He graduated from school actually with about 10-15 scholarships and basically could go to any college of his preference. He ended up going to a great college here in the city, fully paid by scholarships and all that. He was really excited. So he said.

He moved into a dorm room there, bought a mini fridge and all the little things. Finally came his first week of school....after that week, I don't know what happened. He just...dunno, lost it I guess. Left letters, went downstairs, told the campus securities that someone was fighting or something. When one of the securities turned around, he managed to get his gun, and he shot himself in the head.

I'll never forget that day they called me to tell me what happened. He had died 2 days before I found out. My mom had actually seen it on the news, but they hadn't said his name at the time so she didn't know it was him.

It was on a friday, and I was cooking some shrimp fried rice for dinner, and I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone, and the line rang, and it was one of my best friends. She told me that rumors were going around at school, since here little sister was a senior at the time and we had already graduated, that he had killed himself. I didn't want to believe it. I dropped the phone and ended up burning all the food.

So when my parents got home, I told them and we immediately left to his parents house to go see if it was true. Yeah it was. I couldn't believe it.
I was so angry at everyone, at him, at the world, at god. I could have killed someone. How could he have done this? He was so bright, had his whole life and a great future ahead of him. I had seen him grown up into a wonderful person. I always remember him telling me when we were younger that he was going to grow up and be rich and everything. He had so much to do that he had not yet done in life. I still in a way, am mad at him, for leaving this early and not doing all the things he said he would do in life. I'll never forget him.

As for myself....yes I have tried it once actually. But you know, with me being all...valley as the ranch dressing, I couldn't even do that right. I guess I did it because at the time I was having mucho family problems. My grandparents were sick, my mom was always with them taking care of them, so I was always alone. I went through that whole "no one cares for me" phase..and I tried to slit my wrists. But with being a wuss and all.....it hurt. Heh. So I didn't get far. Needless to say, I learned my lesson. That I am a dumbass for even thinking about doing something like that. Anywho...not dwelling much on my personal experience...since it kind of irks me out reminiscing.

 

[fury]

I tried to slit my wrists. But with being a wuss and all.....it hurt. Heh. So I didn't get far.

You're supposed to slit them long ways, that way if you stop because it hurts too much, you'll still bleed to death.

j/k

seriously though... sorry to hear that.

 

[Justintime]

But then, I don't believe that there is any meaning to life, or the universe. I'm a pile of bone, fat and other stuff acting on learned behaviours that emerged as a way of protecting the species. It's all DNA, dudes.

Thank god someone else sees it my way..