SouthernN'Proud
Southern Discomfort
A prominent attorney from Connecticut came to Tennessee to do a little duck hunting. He shot a duck, which fell across a barbed wire fence into a freshly mown hay field.
The lawyer was climbing the fence to retrieve his duck when an aged old farmer rode up on his tractor. "I just shot this duck, and I was coming over to retrieve it," said the attorney.
"Well, this here's my property, an' I don't want you on it," replied the farmer.
"If you deny me access to what is mine, I will sue you for everything you have. I am a very well known attorney!" blasted the lawyer.
"Well, you obviously don't know Tennessee law too well," replied the farmer. "Around here, we settle disputes like this by the Three Kick Law."
"What in the world is that?"
"Well," said the farmer, "since the dispute occurred on my property, I get to go first. I kick you three times, then you kick me three times, and back and forth until somebody gives up."
Sizing up the elderly man, the lawyer decided he could take him, so he accepted the challenge. The farmer slowly descended from his tractor, approached the attorney, and drove the steel toe of his work boot deep into the man's groin. As the lawyer fell over in pain, the second kick landed in the pit of his stomach, causing him to purge the last meal he had eaten. On all fours now, the third kick landed him face first in a fresh cow pile.
The lawyer summoned every ounce of strength he possessed, stood up, and said, "OK, you old coot. Now it's my turn."
The farmer smiled and said, "Naw, that's OK. I give up. You can have the duck."
The lawyer was climbing the fence to retrieve his duck when an aged old farmer rode up on his tractor. "I just shot this duck, and I was coming over to retrieve it," said the attorney.
"Well, this here's my property, an' I don't want you on it," replied the farmer.
"If you deny me access to what is mine, I will sue you for everything you have. I am a very well known attorney!" blasted the lawyer.
"Well, you obviously don't know Tennessee law too well," replied the farmer. "Around here, we settle disputes like this by the Three Kick Law."
"What in the world is that?"
"Well," said the farmer, "since the dispute occurred on my property, I get to go first. I kick you three times, then you kick me three times, and back and forth until somebody gives up."
Sizing up the elderly man, the lawyer decided he could take him, so he accepted the challenge. The farmer slowly descended from his tractor, approached the attorney, and drove the steel toe of his work boot deep into the man's groin. As the lawyer fell over in pain, the second kick landed in the pit of his stomach, causing him to purge the last meal he had eaten. On all fours now, the third kick landed him face first in a fresh cow pile.
The lawyer summoned every ounce of strength he possessed, stood up, and said, "OK, you old coot. Now it's my turn."
The farmer smiled and said, "Naw, that's OK. I give up. You can have the duck."
