Vehicular Crittercide

PuterTutor said:
Some of you have read this before, but for those that haven't, don't worry. Animals can take care of themselves.


Personally, in my life I have hit three birds, one squirrel, and almost hit about six deer. I had one slide so close to my truck that I could hear it's hooves sliding on the pavement, but it missed.
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Dude...buy a pair of "deer screamers" for your car..they're cheap and will save you about $1000 worth of damage to your wheels.
 
I've picked deer guts out of the deer screamers on my mother-in-laws car. Don't seem to have much effect. I just live in an area where deer are rather abundant. It's not a problem if you know it and know where they like to cross at, you just have to be more careful. It's not hitting them that I'm worried about, it's getting hit by them.
 
kuulani said:
frog
mongoose
dog :(
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Sorry, frogs dont count. Unless they are really huge or something. :lloyd:

A mongoose? That's the most unusual victim so far.

Dogs are extra sad. :(
 
tonksy said:
i worked with a guy who was not so...intelligent (let's just leave it at that). so one night while driving home he sees the car in front of him swerve out of the way and before he knows it he has run over an alligator. dumbass stops to check things out. he sees that the gator is dead or stunned or whatever...and like a good cajun he can't abide by the wasting of such good eats. he picks up the 5 ft alligator and tosses it in the trunk.
well...what he should have known (as any good coonass does) is that alligators play possom....and when he gets home he has a very pissed off and very much awake alligator in the trunk of his car.
in fear and panic he bludgeons the thing to death with his sons baseball bat. it was good eats from then on out.
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Hehe - gotta love dem coonass, cher! :D
 
I forgot this one. Once, years ago when I was still living in upstate NY, I had a whole herd of deer (at least six, I was too busy panicking to get an accurate count) try to cross the road directly in front of me. I slid sideways on the icy road between the first two (facing toward them) and the rest. Missed them all out of sheer dumb luck, then recovered from the slide (through better than average winter driving skills) and continued on my merry, 200 heartbeats per minute way. Loved the squirrel story, BTW.
 
Spot said:
i've hit a fair number of small furry critters over the years. especially squirrels. one of the dumbest creatures to ever walk the earth. never did any damage to the vehicle though.
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I remember when I was about 12, my dad lived in a townhouse. I took my nice new bike out for a ride around the block. When I was going down the alley, there was a squirrel on a powerline that went right across where I was riding. I came upon said power line, and when I was roughly 4 feet from it, the squirrel hopped off the line and landed flat on his belly, legs broken, dead. Good thing I stopped in time to miss him. But I did go get a shovel and chuck him in a dumpster.

My point? Squirrels are both stupid AND suicidal.
 
Sharky said:
Sorry, frogs dont count. Unless they are really huge or something. :lloyd:
(
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Frogs do count. *handonhip I hate hitting frogs. :crying4:


I've hit rabbits, frogs, snakes, and other small animals darting in front of a vehicle. And a dog. And a puppy. :crying4: I sound like a horrible driver, but I'm not. I just know better than to swerve for an animal (in most cases). The puppy I didn't see and backed up. It was my favorite of the litter. The dog ran out in front of me while the owner was chasing it. I hit the brakes but it was too late, nothing I could do but pull over, crying, and get out of my car to apologize. Poor little black dog is lying in the road with one leg up in the air, dead. Guy is still going towards the dog (he was yelling at the dog who wouldn't listen) with another smaller dog in his arms. I get up to him just sobbing and trying to pretend I wasn't to apologize. He just said no biggie, dog shouldn't have run out there and I left.
 
All this talk about deer. bah, when you get to this sign, you know you're in trouble
moose_crossing_sign.jpg
 
Numerous chickens
A few rabbits
Couple possums
At least two squirrels
Three or four various avian creatures, including a suicidal robin last week
One deer, and I hope it died a horrible lingering misery filled death for the damage it did to my truck.
Couple snakes
Numerous field mice and/or whistle pigs
A skunk here and there
One pet kitten named Bastige (re: Johnny Dangerously...we had no idea who the daddy was) when he darted in front of my car
 
OK...I'll bite. What's a whistle pig?

A whistle dog is an A&W special hotdog with bacon wrapped around it. If you've hit one of those, I'd say that you missed the entrance to the drive-thru :eek5:
 
Whistle pig

(WHISS-uhl pig)

Appalachian American

n

Common field rodent referred to in other, lesser areas as a ground hog.


:evilgrin:
 
SouthernN'Proud said:
Common field rodent referred to in other, lesser areas as a ground hog.
:evilgrin:
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I've got one visiting my back yard...at least I believe that's what it was. MrsBish described it to me...said that it was about 30lbs, brown squat and ugly.

I understand that they'll do a number of your gardens. Care to drive around my neighborhood for a day or so? With your luck, you'll rid us of that guy and about the 40 skunks in the area...and maybe the cat that's using my neighbor's sandbox as a little box :)
 
I was paranoid about hitting the snakes. They can get slung up under a vehicle and slither their worthless, no leg having carcasses into the back seat of a car. I made damn sure the bodies stayed in the road.

Bish...sounds like a whistle pig to me. A .22 between its beady little eyes oughta do the trick.
 
SouthernN'Proud said:
I was paranoid about hitting the snakes. They can get slung up under a vehicle and slither their worthless, no leg having carcasses into the back seat of a car.
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Yes, they can. You want to miss 'em when possible. Even more fun, they can sometimes be thrown upwards. Wonderful for you convertible drivers. How about a wounded, pissed off rattler suddenly in your lap?

That one might cause me to wreck the car.
 
SouthernN'Proud said:
Bish...sounds like a whistle pig to me. A .22 between its beady little eyes oughta do the trick.
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*MrBishop goes home and pulls out his hunting bow.

I guess that I should wait until nightfall so the neighbors don't call the cops.
 
I'd recommend practicing a little before you put a flight through your neighbour's bedroom window.

If you get him, let me know. I'll be over to skin the little shit.
 
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