What animal would you want to be?

...And now I will describe a typical day in the life of the Bonobo monkey...for which, birth is a lifelong theme. Yes you heard me, the bonobo monkey. So here is how birth works for these animals. Unless you already read about this fine monkey, you don't know what is so interesting about the female gender of the species. The female bonobo monkey has the LARGEST clitoris of any animal ever. It is like the size of a small laptop computer and similarly shaped. Well I don't know about the shape of it, but it is gigantic! So the bonobo monkey obviously cannot have enough sex with male monkeys. They just aren't as interested as the female monkeys. Then the female monkeys start rubbing against trees with their giant clitoris. And this goes on everyday...like during all waking hours. Yeah I know its messed up but its kinda funny. And by the way, I don't know the exact birth rate. I just thought this was close enough to birth to talk about it...

...bonobo monkey are sexually preconious, known to have sex hourly...

...We all have a hairy, oversexed cousin who is kinky as hell. He jerks off all the time, screws anything that will hold still long enough, believes in female dominance, and gets it on in ways that make Austin Powers look like a eunuch. To top it all off, he's a pygmy!...

... Of course, humans with a political agenda have latched on to the bonobo like... well, like a baby bonobo latching on to its mother. Feminists and sex advocates paint bonobos as a hippie society where women rule supreme, screw whomever they want, and nobody gets hurt. It's all a beautiful picture, but not exactly complete. Bonobos do have it pretty good, but there is still an order to this peaceful anarchy. In fact, it's not really the hippie commune we might imagine. Bonobos have a traditional order system in which an alpha female rules the group, and each female is subordinate to the one above her. The males then take their places in the pecking order, with the last male being the lowest in the entire group. If a group of bonobos happens upon some food, they will often have sex to decide who should eat first. After the males get laid, they back off and let the women eat before they do...
 
No, actually I'm doing great with the smokes, the need has gone away, if not the habit, I still reach for my console when driving, pat down my pockets when I go outside, but the real need for it is gone.

What I wanted to change my mind about was the bonobo monkey.
 
I think I'd wanna be some kind sea something...hang out in the ocean all day long. A dolphin perhaps...even though it doesn't allow me to breathe under water, at least I'm in the water. :D
 
Shadowfax said:
I hate sleeping. It's wasted time for me. Imagine how much you could have achieved in the hours you sleep....


too bad it's necessary :(
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indeed, for without the sleep thing the 'bonus' hours are spent hallucunating badly.
 
ris said:
Shadowfax said:
I hate sleeping. It's wasted time for me. Imagine how much you could have achieved in the hours you sleep....


too bad it's necessary :(
Click to expand...

indeed, for without the sleep thing the 'bonus' hours are spent hallucunating badly.
Click to expand...


Don't I fucking know it. I keep seeing things out of the corner of my eye. :rolleyes:
 
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