Please don't continue to read if you're sexually deprived, innocent, easily offended or below 18 years old. The rest of you, it should make for good reading. 
I think I got one of the coolest Christmas presents on the planet and I can't contain my excitement so I HAVE to share it with all of you guys; and girls.
Here's the story: A couple of weeks ago, I had a one night stand with what I consider a to be a "one night stand to be proud of" with an extremely hot woman at a party I went to. Same old story after waking up the next morning with an almost complete stranger; exchange numbers, call later in the day to see how one another is doing and end it at that. But tonight, she had her driver drop off a nicely wrapped present for me. I knew it was a jar with a stick attached to it so instinctively, I thought it was salad dressing with a mixing tool or something very polite and sweet but, WOW when I tore off the wrapping after the stroke of midnight, my DOG was I surprised to get an invitation of this sort.
Here is what it is:
Here is what the directions say on the outside:
Of course, the paintbrush is supplied in the package!
Inside one of the inserts:
And best of all, Quickie Recipes:
Here is what the text says if it's too small to read.
Skinny Dip
Use as a dip with your favorite luscious fruit such as strawberries, apple slices or bananas.
Chocolate Frozen Fantasy
Spoon over your favorite flavor of ice cream, yogurt or.....? Top with whipped cream and a cherry!
Hot and Steamy
Stir several spoonfuls into your coffee for a creamy, steamy cafe mocha.
Pasty Teasers
Cover up any special treat such as angel food or cheesecake or... with a carefully placed drizzle or two.
Body Frosting
Ingredients:
Your body and one jar of Chocoholics Body Frosting.
Directions:
Undress completely. Apply Body Frosting. Be creatively. Use a little on special places. Or use a lot. It all depends on the appetite of your guest. Serve warm.
As an option:
Your guest may enjoy helping in the preparation of this treat.
Now, isn't that one of the coolest gifts anyone who's single, in a relationship, engaged, married or widowed can receive? Holy Crap! This is the best Christmas gift I have ever gotten in my entire life!
So, what did you guys get?
I think I got one of the coolest Christmas presents on the planet and I can't contain my excitement so I HAVE to share it with all of you guys; and girls.
Here's the story: A couple of weeks ago, I had a one night stand with what I consider a to be a "one night stand to be proud of" with an extremely hot woman at a party I went to. Same old story after waking up the next morning with an almost complete stranger; exchange numbers, call later in the day to see how one another is doing and end it at that. But tonight, she had her driver drop off a nicely wrapped present for me. I knew it was a jar with a stick attached to it so instinctively, I thought it was salad dressing with a mixing tool or something very polite and sweet but, WOW when I tore off the wrapping after the stroke of midnight, my DOG was I surprised to get an invitation of this sort.
Here is what it is:
Here is what the directions say on the outside:
Of course, the paintbrush is supplied in the package!
Inside one of the inserts:
And best of all, Quickie Recipes:
Here is what the text says if it's too small to read.
Skinny Dip
Use as a dip with your favorite luscious fruit such as strawberries, apple slices or bananas.
Chocolate Frozen Fantasy
Spoon over your favorite flavor of ice cream, yogurt or.....? Top with whipped cream and a cherry!
Hot and Steamy
Stir several spoonfuls into your coffee for a creamy, steamy cafe mocha.
Pasty Teasers
Cover up any special treat such as angel food or cheesecake or... with a carefully placed drizzle or two.
Body Frosting
Ingredients:
Your body and one jar of Chocoholics Body Frosting.
Directions:
Undress completely. Apply Body Frosting. Be creatively. Use a little on special places. Or use a lot. It all depends on the appetite of your guest. Serve warm.
As an option:
Your guest may enjoy helping in the preparation of this treat.
Now, isn't that one of the coolest gifts anyone who's single, in a relationship, engaged, married or widowed can receive? Holy Crap! This is the best Christmas gift I have ever gotten in my entire life!
So, what did you guys get?
