What is love?
- Thread starter Nixy
- Start date
I'm not moving anywhere, my mom would go NUTS! She only has me and my brother and she is still pretty messed up since my Dad's death. He might move here in a few years if/when we are absolutely positively sure.
So, you don't think it's stupid to move around the world to be with someone? I WANT him to, I just don't want him to regret it or feel in the future that I somehow ruined his life...
So, you don't think it's stupid to move around the world to be with someone? I WANT him to, I just don't want him to regret it or feel in the future that I somehow ruined his life...
greenfreak
New Member
Nixy, you were asking about love because you werent sure about your love for Brainsoft or if you should stay with him. But you're also talking about asking someone else moving across the world to be with you? You might need some time to think about this and find out what the non-relationship Nixy is like. You get into a certain mindset when you're with someone for so long-they are a part of your life and a part of all the decisions you make. To find who you are without them after two years is important. I always say there are three people in every relationship: you, them, and the both of you. It's important to be an individual and to make sure you can be happy alone and satisfied with yourself. Just my humble opinion. 
unclehobart
New Member
again... theres a difference between lovers love and familial love.
greenfreak
New Member
I think it's definately possible to be in 'lust' or infatuated with someone you've never met. Since you've been with Brainsoft for so long, I don't think you've had much time to really love someone else. Especially so soon after your breakup with him (have you broken up officially yet?). I think you love the idea of being in love (with someone who will reciprocate), but give it time. Loving someone from afar and loving someone in front of you is *extremely* different. I learned that lesson twice--the first time it didn't work (in fact it was horrible) and the second time I found the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.
I have to agree with Greenfreak on this one, you really should consider being just you for awhile, not half of a couple. I lived alone for the first time after my first wife and I seperated, and I am really glad I did. I really learned alot about myself.
Even though it will be 3 years from now, don't make any kind of commitment, keep talking, he may be the right one for you, but then again, you may learn a year from now that he's not, or a year from now, you may meet the man of your dreams in person. Basically, give yourself time to decide exactly what it is you want, don't assume because you are having these feelings that this is it. The feelings you described in your first post are feelings I associate with Lust, not love.
And you say you can't move away from your Mom? That is very honorable, I'm sure your Mom would miss you greatly, but I really think you have to consider your own needs first.
Even though it will be 3 years from now, don't make any kind of commitment, keep talking, he may be the right one for you, but then again, you may learn a year from now that he's not, or a year from now, you may meet the man of your dreams in person. Basically, give yourself time to decide exactly what it is you want, don't assume because you are having these feelings that this is it. The feelings you described in your first post are feelings I associate with Lust, not love.
And you say you can't move away from your Mom? That is very honorable, I'm sure your Mom would miss you greatly, but I really think you have to consider your own needs first.
greenfreak
New Member
Nixy, you're answering questions but not really commenting on what we're saying... What do you think about all this?
I don't know what to think of it. There is one guy completely intertwined in my life who doesn't want to be there and I'm not sure if I even want him there anymore but I am afraid. There's another guy who is willing to fly half way across the world just to meet me and see if there is anything between us. I absolutely love talking to him and making me smile and when he is sad I am sad. If there is something between us he is willing to leave his life behind and move here (when he finishs school). Whenever I think of him I just want to hold his hand and walk on the beach and spend all night just laying in his arms!