Now That I Am 30 Years Old..

[Hoon]

Some things have changed..

The Differences?


Then: The perfect high.
Now: The perfect high yield mutual fund.

Then: Popping pills, smoking joints.
Now: Popping joints.

Then: Killer weed.
Now: Weed killer.

Then: Rolling Stones.
Now: Kidney stones.

 

[Hoon]

I remember when I was a kid...

Thinking my father, Paul D. was the smartest dude alive.
Now that I think back...I realize he wasn’t.

He said things like..
-Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

-The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.

-I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

-The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

-Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

-If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

-Never lick a steak knife.

 

[Hoon]

People say to me..

"Why don't you have kids?"

I use to be speechless but now I just say..
"I like kids....I just can't eat a whole one."

 

[joejive]

Some things have changed..

The Differences?


Then: The perfect high.
Now: The perfect high yield mutual fund.

Then: Popping pills, smoking joints.
Now: Popping joints.

Then: Killer weed.
Now: Weed killer.

Then: Rolling Stones.
Now: Kidney stones.

Yup!!!

... and then it becomes;

Soon: Perfect high yield mulch
Soon: Popping your cloggs
Soon: Weed fertiliser
Soon: Stone-dead

 

[Hoon]

Ahhh, yes Joe..

Young people...
Cherish it while you can.
Pretty soon, you wont be able to maintain a boner without holding a gun to her head.

 

[Hoon]

I remember when "E" was a cable tv channel.

Not a designer drug.

 

[Hoon]

I remember when if I stayed up until morning I had "conqured the night"

Now, If I see daylight without sleeping I have a look on my face like someone had just introduced me to running water for the first time

 

[Hoon]

I remember when I was young, I dated a gymnast named Gidget.

Now I date whichever woman collects the most alimony from her ex.

 

[tonksy]

man...i'm not 30 yet....

 

[Hoon]

It's like a wall.
With ugly wall paper on it.
29 is very different from 30.

 

[chcr]

I remember when I was a kid...

I remember when I was thirty. It's not as big a difference as you think. But you wan't realize that for at least ten more years unless you're smarter than I was (hardly the most difficult thing in the world).

 

[unclehobart]

I don't remember hitting 30. I don't think I saw anyone that day.

 

[Hoon]

I felt the sudden urge to watch "Honnymooner" re-runs.

 

[AlphaTroll]

I remember when "E" was a cable tv channel.

Not a designer drug.

It's both over here.....the channel's cath phrase is "be free with 'e' "

 

[unclehobart]

What the heck is 'E'?

 

[Hoon]

E = Entertainment Television
and
E= Ecstasy

 

[unclehobart]

Ah ... Its always been called 'X' here.

 

[AlphaTroll]

We just refer to it as pills - no-one really bothers to call it anything else.

Weird though - we call other drugs that come in pill form by other names.

 

[Hoon]

That's because you're from HOTLANTA...the mecca of drug acronyms.

I'm from upstate New York..the mecca of cow pastuers.

 

[catocom]

gee Hoon your only 30.
I hope you don't hit a big depression like my sister did when she hit 40.
The big 4 0 will be my turn next year, and it won't bother me a bit.
I still don't, and probably won't have any kids. (of my own)