Queef

[BeardofPants]

... Uki! Your husband is trying to peek down my pants again!

 

[tonksy]

No, really... I haven't. I must be deformed.

okay...so...here is a graphic explanation...ever been doing it doggy style with your tushy in the air? then you move your tush to point downward and all the air that was being pumped into you is expelled? that's the only time it's happened to me...that i can think of.

 

[BeardofPants]

No... No, that hasn't happened... Er, I mean, doggy style has, but not the queefing.

 

[Leslie]

it's happened to me other ways too

um...perhaps tmi

 

[BeardofPants]

Maybe it's cos I haven't popped out kids yet?

 

[Leslie]

Maybe it's cos I haven't popped out kids yet?

noooooooooooooo I don't *think* so...

I was queefing long before kids came along

 

[BeardofPants]

Well, there's goes my hope of not being deformed. Damn you, Leslie, damn you!

 

[Oz]

Well, there's goes my hope of not being deformed. Damn you, Leslie, damn you!

I know a trick that'll bring on a quick one if yer interested bop

Might be kinda hard to demonstrate via the internet tho'

 

[BeardofPants]

Will it involve a vacuum cleaner?

 

[Oz]

Will it involve a vacuum cleaner?

Erm......no.

The idea is to force a lil' air in....not suck everything out

 

[BeardofPants]

Yeah, figured that, yer daft fuck. Vac on blow is wot my horrified brain conjured.

 

[Oz]

Yeah, figured that, yer daft fuck. Vac on blow is wot my horrified brain conjured.

Bloody hell! and I thought I had a kinky side!

Nah hun.....might be a bit powerfull.......on the plus side tho' it would prolly blow the wax outa yer ears.....on the downside, when yer do let all that air loose, all the ships from NZ to Boston will head away from shore

 

[tonksy]

i can just see the headline!
YOUNG NEW ZEALAND WOMAN ADMITTED TO HOSPITAL IN BIZARRE VACUUM CLEANER MISHAP!
DISCRIBING HER ORDEAL "IT REALLY SUCKED"

 

[BeardofPants]

If yer think that's kinky, yer should see what I do with a hairbrush.

Seriously, though, I am expectin' a PM and a diagram.

 

[BeardofPants]

i can just see the headline!
YOUNG NEW ZEALAND WOMAN ADMITTED TO HOSPITAL IN BIZARRE VACUUM CLEANER MISHAP!
DISCRIBING HER ORDEAL "IT REALLY SUCKED"

Classic, tonks, classic! Tho' it would be more like, "man, that really blowed..."

 

[Oz]

i can just see the headline!
YOUNG NEW ZEALAND WOMAN ADMITTED TO HOSPITAL IN BIZARRE VACUUM CLEANER MISHAP!
DISCRIBING HER ORDEAL "IT REALLY SUCKED"

 

[Oz]

If yer think that's kinky, yer should see what I do with a hairbrush.

Seriously, though, I am expectin' a PM and a diagram.

I dunno if I can draw it (I dunno wot it looks like, me eyes are usually elsewhere at the time....like aimed at the headboard of the bed

I could always show yer how to do it.....but I don't fancy an irate Mr BoP after me blood

 

[BeardofPants]

I'm sure Mr BoP appreciates your concerns, oz. Stil, if ye could just whisper it in my ear....

 

[Oz]

I'm sure Mr BoP appreciates your concerns, oz. Stil, if ye could just whisper it in my ear....

Wot? So yer can hop into bed and say to yer boyfriend "We've got to try this! A bloke on the internet told me how to do it!"

uh huh.......that'll go down well

 

[BeardofPants]

Since you put it that way....