question from a love-sick puppy.

[sam_fisher]

ok...here we go. i need some advice on how to let a girl know how i feel about her.
I've been in love with this girl off and on for about 15 years. we went to elementary school together, junior high, and high school together. we really never talked that much at school, but we did see each other at social events and sort of took to each other. all these times i had feelings for her (in love feelings). but kinda played it off and tried to act all tough and everything, like i was too busy for love.
she had no idea. well, we graduated high school and i went to college and so did she, and we never really saw each other during the week. we mostly saw each other on the weekends and chatted for a little while. she never really dated anyone and i had dated a few during this period of time. what really got my feelings for her going again was that, she was dating this guy and he basically was beating her, and she never told anyone, but one day out of the blue she calls me and tells me the whole story.
that amplified my fading feelings for her about 100x's. i felt the need to be with her and take care of her but i suppressed it. i bit my tongue, and have been biting my tongue now for about 3 years. and i'm tired of it. we've been seeing each other more now since she's moved back in with her parents(who live about 300 yrds from my parents). i live about 20 mins from my folks, so on the way home from their house, when i can get the guts up, i stop by to say hello. the last couple of weeks have been really hard, because she's been having computer trouble and needed help so she called me i stopped over. she's right there with me,face to face,as beautiful as ever and i just sit there like a dummy and play it off..her sister in the past has told me that she has romantic feelings for me, i dont talk to her sister anymore, and there's really no way to know...

what do i need to do?

sam.

 

[PT]

Oh JESUS CHRIST!!!!! Just ask her to go to a damn movie. IS it that hard? NO. SO she says no, big deal, you can move on. If she says yes, which the way it sounds you have about a 100% chance of her saying yes, you have a starting point. Damn, don't you ever talk to her?

 

[sam_fisher]

geez dude, thats kinda harsh. yes i talk to her. and yes i might have a chance with her. i'm afraid she say yes because she's desparate or feels sorry for me...i defnitley don't want that.
maybe i dont want to move on.

 

[PT]

Sorry, I'm just really tired of this. Should I ask her out, what if she says no, I don't want to ruin what we have now....


It's all the same shit, welcome to life, grab what you can while you can still reach it, cause soon enough, you'll be staring at the top of a casket for eternity.

 

[sam_fisher]

i guess it all has to do with the person. i'm kind of shy i guess...she's not.
situations are different for some people and the way they act and react.
i love her... shit, who knows..
sam.

 

[PT]

True enough, there are different people. I just have reached the point in my life where I can look at things and go fuck it. If it works, great, if it don't, at least you tried and you won't spend the next few years wondering if it would have worked. But, if you'd rather wonder, wonder away.

 

[PrincessLissa]

Ask her to dinner. Have a nice dinner and get a feel for the mood. If the mood is right, take her on a nice rlaxing walk somewhere or drive to a pretty spot and tell her that you really value her friendship but there is something inside you that wants more. Make sure she knows that even if she says no that you will still be there for her as her friend.

 

[AlladinSane]

Even if she feels pitty for you there's still a chance she will know you better and change her mind. Go for it!

 

[Luis G]

In my experience, women do not say yes because they feel pitty for you.

They can say yes because they feel lonely, because you're "the best they can get at the moment", or simply because she likes you or because she loves you.

But NEVER NEVER for pitty.

 

[AlladinSane]

Yeah that makes sense, anyway, what I said still aplies to the other situations you mentioned

 

[IDLEchild]

Why are you even asking us this question?...seriously....unlike others you seem to have it made. Ask her out, wine her, dine her, and then 69 her....(the last part, make sure it is under her discretion)

 

[sam_fisher]

i'm not going to ask anything else..

sam.

 

[tommyj27]

damn, the peanut gallery is out for blood today.

if it makes you feel any better sam, i'm a big wuss when it comes to things like that.

 

[Luis G]

i'm not going to ask anything else..

sam.

We are here to help, i know most of us don't have that tenderness when it comes to advices (hello, Prof ??), but at least we are all honest and we wish you the best.

 

[sam_fisher]

i appreciate it dude.

 

[PT]

We are here to help, i know most of us don't have that tenderness when it comes to advices (hello, Prof ??), but at least we are all honest and we wish you the best.

Yeah no shit. Would you rather have the happy candy-coated full of lies version? Cause if you do, I could write that too.

 

[Nixy]

OH! I WANNA DO THE HAPPY CANDY COATED FULL OF LIES VERSION!

Ok! Here goes!

It doesn't matter what you do Sam. If you two are meant to be together then something will just happen to bring you guys together. Maybe you will catch each others eyes from across the street and suddenly both realize that you want to be together forever and you will run across 4 lanes of traffic to embrace her (but of course not get hit by any traffic cause all the cars stop to let you cross) or maybe she will somehow stumble upon this forum and read what you have written and then leave her house and run to yours by foot (because her car is broken but she just HAS to see you) and she will come to your door and when you answer it she will embrace you and kiss you. Oh, another possibility woudl be that you two would be planning some sort of large social event together and you will get locked in a storage room over night and when they find you the next morning you guys will be curled up together, she will be wearing your suit jacket over her dress and you guys will live haappily ever after.

So, in short, just sit back and everything will work out in the end.

all that fate shit makes sick to my stomach...

 

[PT]

OH! I WANNA DO THE HAPPY CANDY COATED FULL OF LIES VERSION!

Ok! Here goes!

It doesn't matter what you do Sam. If you two are meant to be together then something will just happen to bring you guys together. Maybe you will catch each others eyes from across the street and suddenly both realize that you want to be together forever and you will run across 4 lanes of traffic to embrace her (but of course not get hit by any traffic cause all the cars stop to let you cross) or maybe she will somehow stumble upon this forum and read what you have written and then leave her house and run to yours by foot (because her car is broken but she just HAS to see you) and she will come to your door and when you answer it she will embrace you and kiss you. Oh, another possibility woudl be that you two would be planning some sort of large social event together and you will get locked in a storage room over night and when they find you the next morning you guys will be curled up together, she will be wearing your suit jacket over her dress and you guys will live haappily ever after.

So, in short, just sit back and everything will work out in the end.

uke: all that fate shit makes sick to my stomach...

Exactly. Or in reality, you'll both get hit by busses when crossing that 4 lane road, She'll get hit by a drunk driver while she's running over to your house at 2am, and that storage room will be where Saddam is storing his chemical weapons, in not so sealed containers.

 

[Nixy]

Don't get me wrong, I believe in true love and love lasting forever but I do not believe in fate. Some people ge together in ways such as I have described but I think it is dumb luck and not fate. If you want something you have to go for it!!!

 

[PT]

And I'm just a cynical bastard.