auditory dyslexia
- Thread starter Gonz
- Start date
Professur
Well-Known Member
Starya said:
Yes, there are many reasons that people become single parents. But (as I think Gonz was trying to say) it should be the exception instead of the rule.
And that parenting today is shunted far too much onto "professionals" instead of the breeders. Right now, I'm trying to buy a house, and, I'll admit, it's tough. Single income. It would be so much easier if the wife went out and got a job. But then, she already has one. Raising our kids.
There are several types of dyslexia, auditive, visual, ... ok, I don't know the English terms of all types, but there are a few more. For the various types, various teaching methods and strategies can be used. It takes an extra bit of effort, but usually pays off in the long run. Unfortunately not all teachers think ahead..Professur said:
Starya said:
No, they're not. However, most people are mosre concerned with the "right here, right now, if it feels good do it to me" mentality than in looking at the future. A woman who was hit once during courtship can expect to be beaten during marriage. The sign was there & she refused to read it. The man whose girlfriend cheated while they dated can fairly assume she will do it again. She may not, but if she does, he has no room for complaint. These samples are not absolutes. They are, however huge indicators of character. One needn't be psychic to realize they have a scumbag who makes them feel good...at the moment. Fine, no problem, Just don't bring kids into the mix.
MrBishop
Well-Known Member
Granted....it does take two to tango though. Both people have to be working together for it. That's often not the case. More often, you get one that loses the vow and the other can't fix it fast enough to save the relationship.Gonz said:
One doesn't stop being a parent...but it does take a family and turn it into two single-parents. And each single-parent has the choice of staying at home and living off of the GVT teat or getting a job and relying on daycare and school to help them care for their children (even if it's only for a few hours per day).
Winky
Well-Known Member
So, we want the state to raise our kids. As horrible as that is, we've even taken the joy out of the mechanics of pregnancy. Yes, invitro is not new. Having this kind of instant ego gratification is precisely an example of why so many are displeased with science. There should be moral outrage over this (and piss off with the "it's my body" argument-as soon as you "become" two, it's not just your body.)
Telegraph
Telegraph
BlurOfSerenity
New Member
as a former childhood hellion, i've got a few things to say.
i never went to actual preschool, but i've gotten kicked out of 5 daycares.
it did have an effect on me, so dont say that it doesnt hurt the kids to get kicked out. especially when it becomes a repeated thing, there's a sense of "i fucked up, again".
my parents never abused me. they weren't divorced. they raised me as well as they could. but despite what a lot of people think, it's hard to parent around severe mental issues. parenting can only go so far. the best parents ever can still have a messed up kid, because there is the chemical factor. the chemical factor was present in me, not mythically but actually.
i ran my parents into the ground at times. they did everything they could think of. but my own issues overrode that
this was later on, but i spent almost more time out of school due to suspension in 6th grade than i actually spent in school. the last daycare i got kicked out of was when i was 12. (kindercare... round 2)
then when i was 13 i got professional help (15 months of residential treatment), and i am no longer a hellion.
so that's just my $0.02.
i never went to actual preschool, but i've gotten kicked out of 5 daycares.
it did have an effect on me, so dont say that it doesnt hurt the kids to get kicked out. especially when it becomes a repeated thing, there's a sense of "i fucked up, again".
my parents never abused me. they weren't divorced. they raised me as well as they could. but despite what a lot of people think, it's hard to parent around severe mental issues. parenting can only go so far. the best parents ever can still have a messed up kid, because there is the chemical factor. the chemical factor was present in me, not mythically but actually.
i ran my parents into the ground at times. they did everything they could think of. but my own issues overrode that
this was later on, but i spent almost more time out of school due to suspension in 6th grade than i actually spent in school. the last daycare i got kicked out of was when i was 12. (kindercare... round 2)
then when i was 13 i got professional help (15 months of residential treatment), and i am no longer a hellion.
so that's just my $0.02.
BlurOfSerenity
New Member
thanks!
BlurOfSerenity
New Member
probably dysfunctional adults -- unless they get help.
Michelle_InMi
New Member
I'm not even quite sure how to start this post, so please bear with me if it turns into a blathering ramble.
I am a parent that is quoted in the original post about her child for a newspaper article. When I googled my daughter's name, this thread came up. Initially I was shocked by the rudeness and judgment that was passed about the children that were talked about in the article and their parents. I appreciated the few replies that were more empathetic and understanding of the situations of the families represented.
To clear a few things up, I never told the reporter that medication solved Central Auditory Processing Disorder. However, I did say that it helps with attention deficit issues, which in turn helps her be able to think and hear without so much chaos streaming through her body. My daughter wasn't just distracted, she was downright unable to process external input successfully, no matter how sternly or patiently it was given to her. Keep in mind that reporters rarely get the full and true story.
Many people think that you can break a child's poor behavior by extreme measures, such as spanking, confinement, etc. Those people never met my daughter. She didn't throw standard 2-3 yr. old temper tantrums. She physically harmed herself and others they would get so violent. If someone beat on her, she would beat right back - she had no fear. There's very little reasoning with a child of this age and it is difficult to understand their makeup (brain chemistry) to help the child stop with these behaviors because they don't have the scripts or tools to be able to explain what they're feeling.
Now that she's almost 7 years old she's able to better communicate it and I am amazed at the way she describes the chaos in her mind and body. I've had her beg and plead with me to help her settle down for bed because she's so tired that she wants to, but her body won't let her. Even with my help and a calming environment, it can be a struggle. Slight things such as the lining of a sock rubbing against her toes sends sensory signals shooting through her body that make it impossible to concentrate. And it's not an excuse to her, it's a true frustration.
I've found that those that haven't experienced children like this truly do not understand the things that I'm trying to describe and often have the attitude that "kids will be kids" and that with a Stepford two parent household, the child would be fine. It's a naive perspective and one that causes a lot of untreated children to have a very difficult time as a teenager and an adult.
Children are overmedicated - I agree with that sentiment. Diagnoses of ADD/ADHD are more common then I believe them to be and I'm gravely concerned of the long-term effects of this medicated generation. That's why I met with several child psychologists, pediatricians, auditory specialists, teachers, etc. before coming to the decision to use medication. Before I traveled down this path, I was entirely against medication for these problems or issues. However, by talking to numerous professionals and having her evaluated by anti-meds doctors, doing my own research, trying every other type of parenting style/method/theory/consequence/reward and trying my hardest to be the best mom I could be, I did end up making the decision to try medication, the lowest dosage that is made. And it has been a blessing, but only because it's been coupled with my own improved parenting skills as well. It's not a cure, but it is a tool, an aide.
My daughter, entering second grade, is in love with academics. She's reading and writing at a 4th grade level. She has positive social interactions and can work through situations that are upsetting without turning to dangeous behaviors. We spend time together as a family every day, we eat dinner together at the table. We play games, we do sports activities, Girl Scouts, volunteer in the classroom, you name it. We talk and respect each other.
All of this hate for single mothers is so disheartening. We're here to stay, like it or not, so please find a way in your heart to accept those of us that have done right by our children in raising them with the best of our abilities. There are terrible parents, married and single alike, young and old. Anyone who loves a child and provides them with a safe, secure, and loving home should be recognized.
I was 17 when I became pregnant with my daughter, 18 when I gave bith. I'm now 25 and three classes away from finishing a MBA degree. I pushed myself through school without help from the welfare agency, relatives or her father, have a full-time job at a higher education institution, pay taxes, and look forward to a prosperous life with my daughter. I've worked for everything that I have. Coming here to see that... quite frankly, shit on, because I was giving credit to an agency that was helpful during a very difficult time in life was upsetting. Please show some consideration for the families that you are talking about in this thread and in this forum. They are real lives that you are discussing, with feelings and aspirations just like the rest of you. All that they (and I) want is to have a happy and healthy family.
I am a parent that is quoted in the original post about her child for a newspaper article. When I googled my daughter's name, this thread came up. Initially I was shocked by the rudeness and judgment that was passed about the children that were talked about in the article and their parents. I appreciated the few replies that were more empathetic and understanding of the situations of the families represented.
To clear a few things up, I never told the reporter that medication solved Central Auditory Processing Disorder. However, I did say that it helps with attention deficit issues, which in turn helps her be able to think and hear without so much chaos streaming through her body. My daughter wasn't just distracted, she was downright unable to process external input successfully, no matter how sternly or patiently it was given to her. Keep in mind that reporters rarely get the full and true story.
Many people think that you can break a child's poor behavior by extreme measures, such as spanking, confinement, etc. Those people never met my daughter. She didn't throw standard 2-3 yr. old temper tantrums. She physically harmed herself and others they would get so violent. If someone beat on her, she would beat right back - she had no fear. There's very little reasoning with a child of this age and it is difficult to understand their makeup (brain chemistry) to help the child stop with these behaviors because they don't have the scripts or tools to be able to explain what they're feeling.
Now that she's almost 7 years old she's able to better communicate it and I am amazed at the way she describes the chaos in her mind and body. I've had her beg and plead with me to help her settle down for bed because she's so tired that she wants to, but her body won't let her. Even with my help and a calming environment, it can be a struggle. Slight things such as the lining of a sock rubbing against her toes sends sensory signals shooting through her body that make it impossible to concentrate. And it's not an excuse to her, it's a true frustration.
I've found that those that haven't experienced children like this truly do not understand the things that I'm trying to describe and often have the attitude that "kids will be kids" and that with a Stepford two parent household, the child would be fine. It's a naive perspective and one that causes a lot of untreated children to have a very difficult time as a teenager and an adult.
Children are overmedicated - I agree with that sentiment. Diagnoses of ADD/ADHD are more common then I believe them to be and I'm gravely concerned of the long-term effects of this medicated generation. That's why I met with several child psychologists, pediatricians, auditory specialists, teachers, etc. before coming to the decision to use medication. Before I traveled down this path, I was entirely against medication for these problems or issues. However, by talking to numerous professionals and having her evaluated by anti-meds doctors, doing my own research, trying every other type of parenting style/method/theory/consequence/reward and trying my hardest to be the best mom I could be, I did end up making the decision to try medication, the lowest dosage that is made. And it has been a blessing, but only because it's been coupled with my own improved parenting skills as well. It's not a cure, but it is a tool, an aide.
My daughter, entering second grade, is in love with academics. She's reading and writing at a 4th grade level. She has positive social interactions and can work through situations that are upsetting without turning to dangeous behaviors. We spend time together as a family every day, we eat dinner together at the table. We play games, we do sports activities, Girl Scouts, volunteer in the classroom, you name it. We talk and respect each other.
All of this hate for single mothers is so disheartening. We're here to stay, like it or not, so please find a way in your heart to accept those of us that have done right by our children in raising them with the best of our abilities. There are terrible parents, married and single alike, young and old. Anyone who loves a child and provides them with a safe, secure, and loving home should be recognized.
I was 17 when I became pregnant with my daughter, 18 when I gave bith. I'm now 25 and three classes away from finishing a MBA degree. I pushed myself through school without help from the welfare agency, relatives or her father, have a full-time job at a higher education institution, pay taxes, and look forward to a prosperous life with my daughter. I've worked for everything that I have. Coming here to see that... quite frankly, shit on, because I was giving credit to an agency that was helpful during a very difficult time in life was upsetting. Please show some consideration for the families that you are talking about in this thread and in this forum. They are real lives that you are discussing, with feelings and aspirations just like the rest of you. All that they (and I) want is to have a happy and healthy family.
I am the recently seperated and about to be divorced mother of three children, two of whom are Satan spawn, one of whom has apraxia.
Many of these children WOULD have been ok had they had normal family lives. Taking children through the whole seperation/divorce/visitation thing is wrong, and damaging to them. Unequivocally. Mine certainly would have been in far better stead. The difference in them since their father has decided to actually 'be there' a bit more than not at all is astounding.
My oldest (not the apraxic) was 'diagnosed' by the school he was in, and the school board psychiatrist as 'retarded' and suffering from ADD, and, magically, also ADHD. This was contrary to what my own paediatrician said. A switch of schools, and low and behold, he's doing marvellously and has since been actually tested, and found to be gifted (BORED OUT OF HIS TREE). He was never medicated. Now he's in a school with only 120 children total. Spectacular.
It's all a behaviour management issue. Being taught tools to use to focus. Being taught anger management. These kids don't learn these things by osmosis or regular means. They need explicit instruction in how to conduct themselves, in every facet of behaviour. So while medication can perhaps dull them down enough to keep them managed and functioning for a time, they're certainly not learning the tools they will need to control their brains when they eventually come off the meds. Right when they're teenagers and having to deal with that mess, on top of it all, off the medications go, and then what?
I would like to know just exactly how it was explained to you how sensory sensitivity fits in with ADD? That sounds like an entirely different disorder altogether. I would kindly suggest that you perhaps research that and go back to the doctors. You may have an entirely different and more serious kettle of fish on your hands.
Lastly, there's no hate for single mothers. There's hate for the situations kids get put in. Big difference. You'll note the :duh: posted above was directed to the people wondering why the child going through seperation and divorce was having trouble in school.
It sounds like you've made the effort to do right and the best you can by your daughter, and that's laudable. If you read through again, I'm sure you'll see that most of what been said here wasn't directed at you at all. It was directed at idiocy.
Many of these children WOULD have been ok had they had normal family lives. Taking children through the whole seperation/divorce/visitation thing is wrong, and damaging to them. Unequivocally. Mine certainly would have been in far better stead. The difference in them since their father has decided to actually 'be there' a bit more than not at all is astounding.
My oldest (not the apraxic) was 'diagnosed' by the school he was in, and the school board psychiatrist as 'retarded' and suffering from ADD, and, magically, also ADHD. This was contrary to what my own paediatrician said. A switch of schools, and low and behold, he's doing marvellously and has since been actually tested, and found to be gifted (BORED OUT OF HIS TREE). He was never medicated. Now he's in a school with only 120 children total. Spectacular.
It's all a behaviour management issue. Being taught tools to use to focus. Being taught anger management. These kids don't learn these things by osmosis or regular means. They need explicit instruction in how to conduct themselves, in every facet of behaviour. So while medication can perhaps dull them down enough to keep them managed and functioning for a time, they're certainly not learning the tools they will need to control their brains when they eventually come off the meds. Right when they're teenagers and having to deal with that mess, on top of it all, off the medications go, and then what?
I would like to know just exactly how it was explained to you how sensory sensitivity fits in with ADD? That sounds like an entirely different disorder altogether. I would kindly suggest that you perhaps research that and go back to the doctors. You may have an entirely different and more serious kettle of fish on your hands.
Lastly, there's no hate for single mothers. There's hate for the situations kids get put in. Big difference. You'll note the :duh: posted above was directed to the people wondering why the child going through seperation and divorce was having trouble in school.
It sounds like you've made the effort to do right and the best you can by your daughter, and that's laudable. If you read through again, I'm sure you'll see that most of what been said here wasn't directed at you at all. It was directed at idiocy.
Michelle_InMi
New Member
Will you please consider editing your original post (removing names) so that this thread does not show up under searches?
Michelle_InMi
New Member
Leslie said:
Thank you for your thought out and considerate reply, I appreciate that very much. I agree, it is about behavior management and teaching them the appropriate things so that they can be successful. I certainly never expected anything automatic or for her to be fixed quickly by any method/medication/technique. Like I said, I've tried many things and continue to do so. It's an evolving process.
CAPD and ADD are completely different and I recognize that. Children with CAPD have difficulty processing the information that they are hearing, and everything get's mixed up. This is a very frustrating condition for children and adults alike. She still receives speech therapy and has improved greatly. Unfortunately she also has ADD, which magnifies the CAPD... being easily distracted, hyper, not able to focus, etc. makes it even more difficult for her to work on sorting out what she is hearing and processing it. While two totally different issues, they do impact each other.
I myself have 90% hearing loss and wearing hearing aids and I find her hearing issues much worse to have to deal with. I can have sound amplified, but nothing other then practice and speech therapy will help her with processing.
Her personality is not dulled at all, thankfully. She's still the high spirited, energetic, enthusiastic and bubbly girl that she was before. Only now, she can focus, do well in school and on homework and feel proud of herself. When she is without her medication, grades fall despite my constant efforts to help her, social relationships are non-existant, and she gets depressed/expresses self hate (you wouldn't think that's possible at 6 1/2, but you'd be suprised).
Anyway, I know in my heart I do not need to give justification because others disagree with my parenting and choices. Normally I wouldn't chime in, but seeing this thread really shocked me.
If the names do not get removed by the posters, will the moderators please consider removing them?
EDIT: THANK YOU LESLIE.