MrBishop
Well-Known Member
14 rules to help keep you alive as you cross into Quebec
1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A confident Quebec driver
avoids using them.
2. Under no circumstance should you maintain a safe distance between you and
the car in front of you, because the space will be filled in by somebody
else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.
3. The faster you drive through a red light, the less of a chance you have
of getting hit.
4. Warning! Never come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it
and it will result in your being rear-ended.
5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork,
especially with NB or Ontario plates. With no insurance, the other operator
has nothing to lose.
6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your
ABS kicks in, giving a vigorous, foot massage as the brake pedal violently
pulsates. For those of you without ABS , it's a chance to strengthen your
leg muscles.
7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to
prepare other drivers entering the highway.
8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures; given only as a suggestion and are
not enforceable in Quebec during rush hour, especially in Montreal.
9. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move
over doesn't mean that a Quebec driver flashing his high beams behind you
doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.
10. Always brake and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone
changing a tire. This is seen as a sign of respect for the victim.
11. Learn to swerve abruptly without signalling. Quebec is the home of
high-speed slalom-driving; thanks to the Department of Public Works, which
puts pot-holes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them
alert.
12. It is tradition in Quebec to honk your horn at cars in front of you that
do not move three milliseconds after the light turns green.
13. To avoid injury in the event of a collision or rollover, it is important
to exit your vehicle thru the windshield right away. Wearing your seat belt
will only impede your hi-velocity escape from danger.
14. Remember that the goal of every Quebec driver is to get ahead of the
pack by whatever means necessary.
