How do you control those around you?

I don't like people I can control - they don't provide any challenge. The only people worth talking to are those that don't let themselves be controlled, and who don't need to control others.
 
The term control is not the right word for it, it should be attention instead.

The book i suggested to gf explains that we all need to have interaction with other humans wether it is a possitive or negative interaction (called caress), the important thing in this is that we need the caress in order to be unconsciously satisfied.

You are not controlling or manipulating them, you just make them part of the game where everybody gets some sort of satisfaction.

It is far more complex, but that's the short version.

After reading Dr. Berne's book and 2 books about transactional analysis, i found out that it is a bit dangerous and depressing to know so much of that stuff. So be carefull with it. :)
 
Luis, you should read the Celestine Prophecy. The part about the control dramas really is about stealing someones energy. That comes into play later when they discuss a type of meditation as a means of deriving energy from other sources besides people. It's interesting.
 
at work, i use all 4 of those techniques. outside of work, i'm more aloof/intimidator. depending on my mood.
 
greenfreak said:
Luis, you should read the Celestine Prophecy. The part about the control dramas really is about stealing someones energy. That comes into play later when they discuss a type of meditation as a means of deriving energy from other sources besides people. It's interesting.
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I suppose they mean energy as in the esotheric/metaphysic meaning of the word. Very likely to happen, i'll look for the book, hope it is available in spanish, otherwise it'd be kinda difficult to find it.
 
I believe it's been translated into tons of languages, I can't imagine it wouldn't be available in Spanish. If you can get past the 'way' the story is told (and the fact that it's supposed to be fiction but there's no characterization and little plot) you'll probably enjoy it.

I wrote those other books down at home on my book list. :)
 
Does anyone else feel sick of playing "poor me"?

Somehow I dislike people that act that way, and i know i do it from time to time, i wish i could avoid it. :shrug:
 
Luis G said:
Does anyone else feel sick of playing "poor me"?

Somehow I dislike people that act that way, and i know i do it from time to time, i wish i could avoid it. :shrug:
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i dont like it either but i will need support from friends so i guess its kinda inevitable. shame tho cause i hate that side to myself
 
Dont worry about anyone controling you, and if they do, Get rid of them... And as for me if I try to control someone they usually voice their opion and i listen for what its worth and if its going to cause a fight, i quit the subject.
 
Luis G said:
Does anyone else feel sick of playing "poor me"?

Somehow I dislike people that act that way, and i know i do it from time to time, i wish i could avoid it. :shrug:
Click to expand...


:mope:........:crying3:
 
I do the aloof/interogation very very well.

I ask everything, I tell nothing.

But most of the time I just stand around and insult people in a jokingly way in order to provide comedic relief.

Im pretty good at sarcasm and crafting imaginary "skits" between two exsisting people while doing a slight "characture" of them on the fly and then acting out the exchange in way that will literally roll folks with that particular brand of humor.

There are people (I call them the "no personalities") who respond to this with blank stares and seemingly even emptier brains.
 
i could care less about controlling people, i know i'm right but i'm not [usually] one to impose my _brilliance_ on others, i don't give a flying fuck what they do, i'm still right.

does that make me the aloof type ;)
 
if i want to get something done by others, i use humor a LOT. if you play them right, you can let them do things they don't like, but with a smile on their face, and while they thank you for it.
i personally find it a very good method, since you get what you want, and people aren't effected in a negative way.

other way around; if i really want to hurt somebody, i'd never use physical violence. breaking somebody down mentally is much more effective.
 
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