sigh...

tonksy said:
i've had my share of those so men most not have the monopoly on that. :p :D
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If you tell somebody often enough that they are an insensitive clod, then that's exactly what they'll turn out to be. ;)
 
Gato_Solo said:
If you tell somebody often enough that they are an insensitive clod, then that's exactly what they'll turn out to be. ;)
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maybe if you berate them and call them names on a regular basis...but if you bring up something that you consider insensitive and talk about it (which is harder but less dramatic than fighting) then hopefully things will work out. you know?
 
tonksy said:
maybe if you berate them and call them names on a regular basis...but if you bring up something that you consider insensitive and talk about it (which is harder but less dramatic than fighting) then hopefully things will work out. you know?
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That's the meat of the matter, now innit? How often do you consider a 'regular basis'. How often do decide you want to 'talk about' the other person's faults? Now, how often do you think the other person feels 'regular' is? How did that person's childhood years affect his adult life? It's easy to tell a person to 'grow up', but if they don't know how due to their past, what can you do? By the time you get to them, it may just be too late, or you don't have the skill, or they just don't care. It works kind-of like this...


You come home every day, roll up your newspaper, and beat the crap out of your spouse. You do this for 3 years straight, and they are powerless to stop you. You stop beating your spouse with the paper for 6 years...now what happens if your spouse sees you rolling up a newspaper?
 
dude! in every relationship there are going to be some issues that you can either talk about or fight about. it's just that simple. show me a relationship that doesn't do this and i shall show you 2 people that either know nothing about the other person or are clones or something.
discussing issues in your life and relationship is hardly tantamount to beating your spouse with the wall street journal.
 
tonksy said:
dude! in every relationship there are going to be some issues that you can either talk about or fight about. it's just that simple. show me a relationship that doesn't do this and i shall show you 2 people that either know nothing about the other person or are clones or something.
discussing issues in your life and relationship is hardly tantamount to beating your spouse with the wall street journal.
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That was a hyperbole. ;) Let's just change from the newspaper to a verbal beratement, and it's not a spouse, it's a child. That child hears this their whole childhood, grows up, moves out, and is unprepared for even the slightest disagreement. The best part is, it works both ways. I never said any different...but, interestingly enough, it sounds like you think I'm blaming you for something. I'm not. I'm just pointing out human nature, and psychology. Every adult in the world carries emotional baggage from childhood, but we don't really realize it until somebody gets a bit too close to that emotional trigger. Mine go off from time-to-time as well. :shrug: It's a self-perpetuating system. The thing is to recognize the system and try to minimize the damage.
 
Gato_Solo said:
That was a hyperbole. ;) Let's just change from the newspaper to a verbal beratement, and it's not a spouse, it's a child. That child hears this their whole childhood, grows up, moves out, and is unprepared for even the slightest disagreement. The best part is, it works both ways. I never said any different...but, interestingly enough, it sounds like you think I'm blaming you for something. I'm not. I'm just pointing out human nature, and psychology. Every adult in the world carries emotional baggage from childhood, but we don't really realize it until somebody gets a bit too close to that emotional trigger. Mine go off from time-to-time as well. :shrug: It's a self-perpetuating system. The thing is to recognize the system and try to minimize the damage.
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i never thought you were blaming me for anything. i am just bitter. :)
i just felt like defending the female sex on this issue.
 
tonksy said:
i never thought you were blaming me for anything. i am just bitter. :)
i just felt like defending the female sex on this issue.
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You? Bitter? I always thought you were sweet. ;)
 
Why waste a good paper like the Wall Street Journal by beating your spouse with it? Use a crappy paper... like the New York Times. :D
 
tonksy said:
i need to try and wear more bracelets. i have a few but i got out of the habit of wearing them because of children or waitressing. rings too (although i love them), mainly i wear earrings and necklaces.
nix? have you been dropping hints?
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Nope...I don't drop hints...or atleast i try not to
 
chcr said:
Hints????

Hints????

Whew, you have a limited understanding of us guys. Nixy, what you should do is grab him by the appropriate appendage and say, "Earrings, my birthday, Dec. 13th, circled in red on the calender." We ain't psychic and we don't take hints. :rolleyes:
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I don't want earrings though :p
 
PuterTutor said:
...Gave it to her and she said "What did you get this for, you know I don't wear bracelets?"

:disgust2:
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Gato_Solo said:
...My fiancee could stand there at the jewelry department for 30 minutes, looking at one piece in particular, so I'll buy that piece for a surprise, and she'll exchange it 2 days later because 'that's not the piece she wanted'. ....
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Christ man, I don't do this. :confused: No matter what the BF buys me, even if I don't like it as much as something else, I would never exchange it, or query why he bought it for. That's just downright rude, IMO. :eek6: Always go with at least pretending that the gift is the bees knees. :shrug:
 
BeardofPants said:
Christ man, I don't do this. :confused: No matter what the BF buys me, even if I don't like it as much as something else, I would never exchange it, or query why he bought it for. That's just downright rude, IMO. :eek6: Always go with at least pretending that the gift is the bees knees. :shrug:
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IMO anything that someone buys especially because they thought of you and wanted to give you something IS the bee's knees.
 
SL: I sure hope not, I don't enjoy getting earrings and he knows it...the reasons shall follow...

BoP and Tonks I agree with both you...I never exchange or say something isn't what i wanted...except one time that my bf told me he was getting me something and I was SO head over heels excited about it (it was a mousepad with a wristrest btw...I'm such a nerd) and when I opened it it was a pretty ugly cellphone cover...that time he could see the disappointment on my face so he just took it and exchanged it...but disappointment was cause i was worked up over what he said he wa sgetting...and all I said was "Thank You" when I opened it cause i didn't wanna hurt him...but he knew i was disappointed...I guess the being appreciative for anythign given is why I got earrings more than once from that bf too...I guess he thought earrings were "my thing"...they're not but I was so appreciative and happy with his thoughtful gift the next year he bought me another, different pair...ah well.
 
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