More Bumper Stickers......
Guns don't kill people, postal workers do.
Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit.
God must love stupid people, he made so many.
I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.
So many recipes, so few cats.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!
There's too much youth, how about a fountain of smart.
It IS as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.
Wink, I'll do the rest!
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
When there's a will, I want to be in it!
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Forget about World Peace.....Visualize Using Your Turn Signal !
I know what you're thinking, and you should be ashamed of yourself.
Don't drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill your drink.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
I souport publik edekasion
hoket on foniks werked fur me
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock.
I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die.
Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.