The cold hard disturbing truth about me.

AnomalousEntity

New Member
A good friend asked me if I was ok today and below is my response:


I have a hole in my foot, a root canal that never got crowned, a few cavities, mild seasonal asthma, escalating irratible bowel syndrome, a few too many pounds, dandruff, a mild but ever present case of hemorrhoids and apparantly jock itch, I cant see good, and my knees hurt when I squat too much, and my wrists hurt when I bowl, and my back hurts when I lift things, and Im horney all the time. I have a short attention span, I live beyond my means, I am jealous as hell, I cant spell very good, my family is beyond dysfunctional, I have an awful fear of public speaking, my hearing is diminished, I like guns and skanky women (but only for one thing), my best friends were rednecks and back stabbers, my ex wife was a redneck cheating back stabbing bitch from hell (who just happened to be really hot), I have a knack for staying in constant trouble at work, Im obsessive about my work and I get completely frustrated when people dont do their jobs or things are not done well (to the point that it makes me crazy), Im a sarcastic, smart assed, below average intelligent looser with small calf muscles (stick legs), I was not popular in school, I could never get a girlfrend till college, and I "fall" for people who are merely nice to me. At the same time I completely roll over the feelings and hurt people who fall for me. No one (or almost no one) gets my sense of humor, I get excited and loud and sound very stupid about certain topics. I go to great lengths to "impress" people for no apparrant reason (and it usually doesnt work and they think Im a moron). When I try to make a good impression, I get shy and everyone just assumes Im stuck up. When I try to have intelligent conversation, i get overly detailed and get accused of being "arrogant". When it comes to topics I do know somthing about, I just cant resist the urge to try and "educate" people and again get accused of being arrogant. I am terrible at estimating peoples knowledge of a topic and get people pissed at any where from "talking down to them" to "over explaining" to talking above their heads with "alphabet soup". I have no friends (one real close friend/intimate friend) , I enjoy games but suck at them. I cant stand being around other guys as they all strike me as being ignorant/moronic rednecks who spend all their time making stupid ass jokes over and over that no one gives a shit about anyway. I get accused of being gay all the time (presumably because of the preppy cloths I wear and the fact that I keep to myself). I always have people say "ma'am" to me on the phone and at drive in menus. I have seen/contributed to peoples death and it does not bother me in the slightest (giving morphine to dying patients). I eat stuff that has been dropped on the ground or is discolored in the fridge. I can quote the exact knock down % form the FBI ballistical stastics of any hand gun caliber. I never ask a gun dealer or computer dealer ANYTHING because they are all morons. I cant work on my own cars even though my father is an auto mechanic (I dont even change my own oil). I cant do stuff around the house unless I have directions and or a "kit". I spend all of my time in air conditioned and virutally melt when I go outside. I drive an Orange Nissan Xterra because I wanted somthing "different" I buy games and dont finish them. I have to have "to do lists" or nothing gets done (thank God for my PDA). Im a Christian who doesnt know what he really believes. I frequent free porn site and then have trouble explaining the spam that comes into my mail to my wife. I practically would live off of mexican food and hamburgers and cokes if left to my own devices. I would spend days doing nothing but playing video games and drinking coke if left to my own devices. I would call out from work for game release dates and movies openings if left to my own devices. I would have huge origies at my house (or any other) if left to my own devices. I go through cars like most people go through shoes (and it bankrupt me) I go through wives and girlfriends like most people go through sandwiches (and it bankrupt me). I never got over my first love. I dont know what I want in life. I have no idea who I am. I have no idea what Im doing. I have no idea why I even bother. I live in a trailer in the woods and make fun of trailer people. I cant get over listening to 80s and 90s music no matter how hard I try. I watch SG1, smallville, star trek, and walker texas ranger. I have started taking Hap ki do and quit after 6 months once, and I have started taking Tae Kwon do and quit after 8-11 months twice, and I quit karate after 4 months once. I got accepted into Bowman Grey Physician Assistant school and never went, I got accepted into UNCG masters program and never went, I got recruited by the US Secret Service and didnt successfully complete the panel interview. I have left a huge path of pain, suffering and waste in the wake of my path through life.

Does that sound ok to you?
 
Hmm, it's quiet on the boards so I reckon I'll have a go at this......


Friendly Voice: 'Ello bleach..........How are you today?
Me: Fine thanks!
Friendly Voice: Ok.

















I'm British.........that's about as deep as it gets ;)
 
okay, i'm going to give this a shot. if you don't wanna hear me whine/rant/bitch/wax poetic hit your back button now.
i am poor. i hate it. i've been poor the majority of my life, except for when my mother was involved with a man that had a buncha dough, so i know what i'm missing out on. i don't get to go shopping. i haven't bought anything of interest for myself in a long time - except pot. i smoke alot of pot. actually right now i don't because i just put every cent i had in the mail to pay a bill- oh, except for $7, but my husband is buying diaper wipes and spray cleaner at the dollar store on his break from work, so that knocks us down to $4.50 to last until next friday.hmmm...
i get depressed alot. always have. maybe thats why i always feel the need to lighten the mood with jokes and one-liners. tears of a clown, huh? smokey robinson...anyway, i'm always pretty good at cheering up others and only part way good at cheering up myself. i used to be on medication for depression until i realized it wasn't a chemical imbalance, my life is just hard and i have to suck it up and deal with it.
my marriage is fragile to say the best, i am just not happy. i love him as a friend and a human being. i'd like to say i am in love with him, but i don't like to lie. he has always been a dear friend, i never want to hurt him. he is a decent husband and father, he just has some issues to deal with, i plan on helping him any way i can. i don't ever see myself leaving him. this isn't unusual in my opinion. women have been feeling this way about their husbands since the beginning of marriage. i want my children to have a family. it's not like we fight all the time or can't stand the sight of each other, it's just that my feelings have changed. i am still a, ummm, dutiful wife, if you catch my drift. he is taken care of. he has his laundry done, dinner cooked, house cleaned etc, etc.
he is always at work, anyway. i'm talking 55-65 hours a week. which leaves me stuck at home with the girls. i love my girls and i love being a stay at home mom, but i like to leave the house sometimes, besides going to the grocery store or doctors appointments. can you imagine how it was before i got this computer? sigh.
i have been dieting for about a month and i have lost about 1 1/2 dress sizes... he doesn't notice. i guess it really doesn't matter.
 
Tonksy I can only give ya my respect for going through that shishkebab......I wouldn't have the gut to :eh: Keep smiling babe :winkkiss:
 
bleach said:
Tonksy I can only give ya my respect for going through that shishkebab......I wouldn't have the gut to :eh: Keep smiling babe :winkkiss:
sure you would, we all do what we have to do, but thanks to you and luis.
 
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